The Persecution of Women in the Church

[Coonskinner]

Originally Posted by MissBrattified

Which words? What am I a victim of? Be more specific...so I can tell you whether you are correct or not.

Miss B knows this, but for you spectators, this is how it works:

This was a subtle attempt to shift the focus of the discussion off the issue to the person.

It also is a subtle ploy to establish the writer as a person of authority.

Debaters do this when they are on the ropes.

[SDG]

Originally Posted by Coonskinner

Miss B knows this, but for you spectators, this is how it works:

This was a subtle attempt to shift the focus of the discussion off the issue to the person.

It also is a subtle ploy to establish the writer as a person of authority.

Debaters do this when they are on the ropes.

More theatrics.

[Coonskinner]

Originally Posted by Daniel Alicea

More theatrics.

Daniel, I really wish you'd stop questioning my honesty.

[SDG]

Originally Posted by Coonskinner

Daniel, I really wish you'd stop questioning my honesty.

I'd wish you'd stop questioning my and others Apostolicness. Which, of course, goes into one's integrity also. oloroid

[DAII]

Originally Posted by Fireside

I don't know what apology you are talking about.

Daniel saying I owe you one doesn't mean I do.

Let me make you aware of something, sport.

I have not attacked you personally that I can recall.--just your beliefs and views. (Daniel and J-Roc will now be scouting feverishly through all my posts on the thread trying to find a place where I did so they can yell about it )

You have on at least a couple of occasions gotten personal with me--once just a few posts ago.

But I don't require an apology for that, because this is an internet forum, and I am not in the least thin-skinned anywhere.

Originally Posted by crazyhomie

I'm curious, do you pastor?

Originally Posted by Fireside

PSYCHOBABBLE

A match made in the Delta.

[Davidgene]

I didn't want to start a new thread since I'm new to the site, but wanted to find an existing thread to ask for your advice on a problem a friend of mine is enduring.

Recently, a lady friend of mine from back in the high school days of the 1970's reconnected with me and my wife. She attended the same Pentecostal Church I did as children and young teens, and I remembered her well from there and from school.

She recently went through a divorce after 30 plus years married to a profoundly abusive alcoholic, her words, not mine, and has spent the past few years reclaiming and recommitting herself to her family and to her faith.

Last year she started going to a UPC church in our hometown that has had it's share of bad history. The first Pastor was arrested and charged with molestation of the girls in his congregation, but died before he could face trial. The second and current pastor was charged with illegal conversion of church property, but things were settled out of court, and the membership is now split between two churches. So, in my opinion, this is a church with some pretty bad history. I warned her of the problems with the church building, and implored her to continue searching for a church outside the UPC.

She continued going to the church because, in her words, it felt like our old time religion. She had always been active in our old church, singing in the youth choir, and she never missed a service. She's hungry for the word, and wants to find her place in church. I was searching the UPC Church's Facebook site, and saw a man I recognized from the past, and he was one of the Music Ministers in that church. I'm a firm believer in religious conversion, and that Christ can perform miracles and save anyone, but my hackles were raised with this man. I have a personal history with him, and it isn't good.

Over the past year, he's integrated himself into her life. She kept telling him they were friends only, nothing more. But, he came to her this past winter, put down an engagement ring, and declared her to be his fiance, and that they were getting married this spring. He didn't ask her for her hand in marriage, he just stated it like it was a hostile takeover. She was shocked and intimidated. He then posted on his facebook wall that they were engaged, and started friending everyone on her friend's list, to include her daughters and grand daughters. He started yelling at her, threatening her when she didn't wear the ring to church, and started demanding she tell him when she left her apartment, who she saw, and how long she was gone.
She has saved phone messages and texts where he's threatened her with violence should she not respond to him.
She's scared to death, and finds herself in a problem because the church members are now planning her wedding, a wedding she doesn't want, and a marriage she's being bullied into.
I've talked to her and talked to her about the scriptures, but also about Battered Women Syndrome, and the necessary steps she needs to take to rid herself of this ...evil. She's scared to death to tell the pastor of the UPC she's been attending, because he's all for the marriage.
So...men and women of this forum, do you have any advice or observations?
I've prayed about this, rebuked this guy in the name of Jesus, prayed with her, but he will not leave her alone.
He's been married three times, and I find it funny that in the UPC bylaws that they recommend their ministers stay single should they divorce.
Am I missing something? My wife and I are at a loss, and we've implored her to take the necessary steps to protect herself and her daughters, but no matter what she does, he's there.

[MissBrattified]

Originally Posted by Davidgene

I didn't want to start a new thread since I'm new to the site, but wanted to find an existing thread to ask for your advice on a problem a friend of mine is enduring.

Recently, a lady friend of mine from back in the high school days of the 1970's reconnected with me and my wife. She attended the same Pentecostal Church I did as children and young teens, and I remembered her well from there and from school.

She recently went through a divorce after 30 plus years married to a profoundly abusive alcoholic, her words, not mine, and has spent the past few years reclaiming and recommitting herself to her family and to her faith.

Last year she started going to a UPC church in our hometown that has had it's share of bad history. The first Pastor was arrested and charged with molestation of the girls in his congregation, but died before he could face trial. The second and current pastor was charged with illegal conversion of church property, but things were settled out of court, and the membership is now split between two churches. So, in my opinion, this is a church with some pretty bad history. I warned her of the problems with the church building, and implored her to continue searching for a church outside the UPC.

She continued going to the church because, in her words, it felt like our old time religion. She had always been active in our old church, singing in the youth choir, and she never missed a service. She's hungry for the word, and wants to find her place in church. I was searching the UPC Church's Facebook site, and saw a man I recognized from the past, and he was one of the Music Ministers in that church. I'm a firm believer in religious conversion, and that Christ can perform miracles and save anyone, but my hackles were raised with this man. I have a personal history with him, and it isn't good.

Over the past year, he's integrated himself into her life. She kept telling him they were friends only, nothing more. But, he came to her this past winter, put down an engagement ring, and declared her to be his fiance, and that they were getting married this spring. He didn't ask her for her hand in marriage, he just stated it like it was a hostile takeover. She was shocked and intimidated. He then posted on his facebook wall that they were engaged, and started friending everyone on her friend's list, to include her daughters and grand daughters. He started yelling at her, threatening her when she didn't wear the ring to church, and started demanding she tell him when she left her apartment, who she saw, and how long she was gone.
She has saved phone messages and texts where he's threatened her with violence should she not respond to him.
She's scared to death, and finds herself in a problem because the church members are now planning her wedding, a wedding she doesn't want, and a marriage she's being bullied into.
I've talked to her and talked to her about the scriptures, but also about Battered Women Syndrome, and the necessary steps she needs to take to rid herself of this ...evil. She's scared to death to tell the pastor of the UPC she's been attending, because he's all for the marriage.
So...men and women of this forum, do you have any advice or observations?
I've prayed about this, rebuked this guy in the name of Jesus, prayed with her, but he will not leave her alone.
He's been married three times, and I find it funny that in the UPC bylaws that they recommend their ministers stay single should they divorce.
Am I missing something? My wife and I are at a loss, and we've implored her to take the necessary steps to protect herself and her daughters, but no matter what she does, he's there.

She needs to go to the police, first and foremost and file a report for harassment. Secondly, she needs to reject him publicly, in front of witnesses that she knows will take her seriously and protect her.

She also needs to go to the pastor and take a friend with her. But not until she files a police report. It sounds like this man is stalking her and he sounds abusive, to put it mildly. I would be scared of someone like that.

Personally, if it were MY friend, I would probably tell the pastor even if she didn't want me to. And if he didn't pay attention, I would email the local presbyter and the district superintendent.