Emma Bontrager Tributes

Originally Posted by Stephen Hoover

Sarge and ILG, Do you think a teen should be kicked out of his parents home if he starts smoking cigarettes or has had sex with his girlfriend?

Why is this coming into the conversation? My mention of what many of us heard while growing up was simply to show that parents DO have a say in what a child does while they live with them. You had seemed to say they did not in a prior post.

I totally understand why they should have a few more liberties at a certain age, and no doubt will give my own children more liberties as they mature.

I agree with more liberties as they age, however it appears you don't understand where I am coming from with this. ILG does. LOL. Liberties is one thing, making it open season to do or have things that you've taught them their entire life was wrong is another. And when they are old enough to leave and be on their own, then we are speaking of a different matter.

If the kids see rumspringa as an opportunity to do whatever they want, even things they have been taught are wrong, then something is wrong with the tradition. The church may be against such. The parents may be against such. But if the parents sit back and allow it during this time.....don't actions speak louder than words? How is that not condoning it? Kids still lack a great deal of wisdom at that age and to give them freedom to do whatever is ......mind boggling.

Anyway, I am bowing out of the discussion as my purpose for coming to AFF was to participate in the threads that dealt with spiritual abuse. They are over and so should my time here be.

[Hoovie]

Originally Posted by Sarge

Why is this coming into the conversation? My mention of what many of us heard while growing up was simply to show that parents DO have a say in what a child does while they live with them. You had seemed to say they did not in a prior post.

I simply brought it up to show the dilemma parents have in enforcement of rules with an 16 to 18 year old. You mentioned "as long as you live in my house..." and while I agree, getting out from under the roof is a simple act - I did it myself at age sixteen. (I don't recommend it BTW)


I agree with more liberties as they age, however it appears you don't understand where I am coming from with this. ILG does. LOL. Liberties is one thing, making it open season to do or have things that you've taught them their entire life was wrong is another. And when they are old enough to leave and be on their own, then we are speaking of a different matter.

If the kids see rumspringa as an opportunity to do whatever they want, even things they have been taught are wrong, then something is wrong with the tradition. The church may be against such. The parents may be against such. But if the parents sit back and allow it during this time.....don't actions speak louder than words? How is that not condoning it? Kids still lack a great deal of wisdom at that age and to give them freedom to do whatever is ......mind boggling.

The "open season" view is coming from those watching outside the church. The Amish and OOM do not encourage doing wrong while Rumspringa. They pray for and plead with their youth to make the right decisions. Again the alternative to tolerating a "wild" wayward one is ultimately kicking them out - not as easy nor as wise as one may think.


Anyway, I am bowing out of the discussion as my purpose for coming to AFF was to participate in the threads that dealt with spiritual abuse. They are over and so should my time here be.

Oh but I am right on the verge of feeling abused in this thread!