Terrible News and the Importance of Accountability

[MissBrattified]

Accountability is difficult these days because most people don't know how to keep things confidential, and as a result, there is a lack of trust overall. It's a nice idea, but usually falls short in practical application.

[revrandy]

Originally Posted by MissBrattified

Accountability is difficult these days because most people don't know how to keep things confidential, and as a result, there is a lack of trust overall. It's a nice idea, but usually falls short in practical application.

It is difficult....I can't help but think that if this man had someone he could trust it might have thwarted what happened....but we'll never know...

[MissBrattified]

Originally Posted by revrandy

It is difficult....I can't help but think that if this man had someone he could trust it might have thwarted what happened....but we'll never know...

I know of a small effort being made on the part of a few pastors and counselors to make private counseling available for ministers (this was a couple of years ago)--the problem is, not many people can be trusted to actually keep things private. In fact, even Christian counselors have been know to "spill the beans."

Smart people don't tell anyone but God about their struggles. It should NOT be that way, but that's the way it IS. Case in point: A man confides in a friend. The friend tells his wife. The wife is friends with the pastor's wife. The pastor's wife tells her husband. The pastor goes to the man, and the accountability has gone out the window, because the man has learned he cannot trust his friend.

Obviously some things cannot be held in secret, especially criminal matters. But in general, this is a very real problem, because we have a church full of gossips and people who share things so others can "pray about it." It should break our hearts. (I am not talking about our church specifically--I'm talking about the church in general.)

Add in a culture that believes one failure disqualifies a man from ministry forever, and then he is faced with the idea that he will lose his family, his friends, the church, his children will be hurt, etc., if he tells anyone anything, and the decision is easier still.

I am all for ministry abiding by a stricter mode of conduct, but at the same time, it is a faulty system where a minister feels he has no one to turn to when he is faced with a struggle. Certainly not fellow saints. Probably not his wife. Certainly not fellow ministers, who will likely "turn him in" to the district or tell other ministers.

[Esther]

Originally Posted by revrandy

It is difficult....I can't help but think that if this man had someone he could trust it might have thwarted what happened....but we'll never know...

I have seen the effects of this lack of trust for many years, and have preached it will come back to bite us.

It is symthons of a dysfunctional family.

JMO

[freeatlast]

Originally Posted by MissBrattified

Accountability is difficult these days because most people don't know how to keep things confidential, and as a result, there is a lack of trust overall. It's a nice idea, but usually falls short in practical application.

I have heard of some accountability nightmares. Where the trust was not kept and things shared that should have been kept in prayferfull trust.

We all have heard of great people of Gosd who have fallen into grievious error and sins.

Would it have been different if fthey could have shared/cofessed their faults one to another.

At a Baptist mens retreat a brother spoke up and asked , "why don't address our problem with lust, pornagraphy, adultery etc.
It's something that all men struggle with or know someone who has and we act like it never happens to us??

Until we can TRULY forgive the offending brother and TRULY accept back into fellowship, things will continue to kept in the closet or swept under the rug.

For instance; I've heard it stated on this forum that if a person male or female comes to faith and is set free from homosexuality.

If that person ever again even thinks about or is tempted by those feelings again that they are not redeemed, probably never were redeemed. Lost as two boys kissing.

With mentality like that, how is the person that struggles with an occasional thought or temptation ever going to be able to share his struggles with out fear of being ousted from fellowship.

[MissBrattified]

Originally Posted by freeatlast

With mentality like that, how is the person that struggles with an occasional thought or temptation ever going to be able to share his struggles with out fear of being ousted from fellowship.

I don't know. It makes me sad to think about it. I wonder how many people could have been salvaged if they had felt they could talk to another saint of God about their struggles without fear of reprisal?

[Esther]

Originally Posted by MissBrattified

Accountability is difficult these days because most people don't know how to keep things confidential, and as a result, there is a lack of trust overall. It's a nice idea, but usually falls short in practical application.

Unfortunately, what you said here is too true.

Has INTERGRITY left the ministry?

I pray it has not.

[freeatlast]

Originally Posted by Esther

Unfortunately, what you said here is too true.

Has INTERGRITY left the ministry?

I pray it has not.

It's not ministry (clergy) There is teaching among us that we all should seek out accountablity partners.

Just two brothers that weekly meet for a cup of coffeee or prayer and quiz each other on how they are doing this week.

They encouraged to ask hard questions. Have you liusted this week? Have you viewed porn?

Have you lied to me in your answers?


This lends itself to hugh problems, in my opinion, that if things shared are not kept in confidence there could be hugh problems arise.

As christians we all should be able to answer questions like these in the positve, but in a real world we all know that we all can't.

[Apprehended]

This may smack of the sound of Papalism, but in light of the need for confession, counseling and personal strengtening, also in the light of the fact that counselors can be held accountable to the justice system for not revealing facts uncovered in such sessions; also in light of the fact that some counselors are less than trustworthiness; I wonder, just wonder...maybe the anonomity of the old RCC Confessional is the answer???

After all, confession and counseling can be made without having to reveal WHO was in the Confessional booth. Also, the Counselor cannot gossip about certain (unkown for sure) person.

I'm not so sure that this would be the answer to some of the problems presented by the demands of the justice system to deliver up a confessor. It would also have the affect of granting comfort to the Confessor granted by the (apparent) anonimity.

[DividedThigh]

Originally Posted by Apprehended

This may smack of the sound of Papalism, but in light of the need for confession, counseling and personal strengtening, also in the light of the fact that counselors can be held accountable to the justice system for not revealing facts uncovered in such sessions; also in light of the fact that some counselors are less than trustworthiness; I wonder, just wonder...maybe the anonomity of the old RCC Confessional is the answer???

After all, confession and counseling can be made without having to reveal WHO was in the Confessional booth. Also, the Counselor cannot gossip about certain (unkown for sure) person.

I'm not so sure that this would be the answer to some of the problems presented by the demands of the justice system to deliver up a confessor. It would also have the affect of granting comfort to the Confessor granted by the (apparent) anonimity.

that is an interesting theory my friend, over the many years of my life i have heard many things that i wish i could forget, no joke, dt