Divorce - Adultery Thread

SDG · #1 05-19-2008, 09:16 AM

Divorce is not in the plans of God ... for what it's worth. God hates it because he wants the best for us.

OP Carl I have to agree that one of the worst things that has happened in America is no-fault divorce ... however I do believe there is systemic sexism engrained in tradtional OP circles that is not rooted in biblical principles but woven into the fixation w/ a snapshot of time ... specifically the early part of last century.

Sexism is just not thinking one is superior to the other gender but to have distorted views of the roles of the other gender ... such as having warped values attached to the other gender that are not healthy or realistic or culturally accepted.

As generations get more removed of the Norman Rockell painting idol that is reified at the altar of holimess dress theology ... this paradigm will seem more and more extreme, archaic and out of touch.

Baron1710 · #2 05-19-2008, 09:22 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Daniel Alicea

Divorce is not in the plans of God ... for what it's worth. OP Carl I have to agree that one of the worst things that has happened in American is no-fault divorce ... however believe there is systemic sexism engrained in tradtional OP circles that is not rooted in biblical principles but woven into the fixation w/ a snapshot of time ... specifically the early part of last century.

As generations get more removed of the Norman Rockell painting idol that is reified at the altar of Holimess theology.

Dan, can you tell me why you think no fault divorce is worse than fault based divorce?

rgcraig · #3 05-19-2008, 09:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Baron1710

Dan, can you tell me why you think no fault divorce is worse than fault based divorce?

I'm not Dan, but I'll tell you what I think. With no fault divorce you can be divorced just because you are bored or tired of working on your marriage. If they had to have a fault based divorce it would eliminate the ones that just want to get divorced because they can or want to try someone different. Also, no fault divorce affects the financial piece of the divorce.

However, I believe that there's a increase in fault based divorces too, so it might not actually affect the percentages that much.

I married for life too, but that all changed.

MissBrattified · #4 05-19-2008, 09:31 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rgcraig

I'm not Dan, but

Quote:

I'll tell you what I think. With no fault divorce you can be divorced just because you are bored or tired of working on your marriage. If they had to have a fault based divorce it would eliminate the ones that just want to get divorced because they can or want to try someone different.

I completely agree. It's the lazy way out, IMO.

Baron1710 · #5 05-19-2008, 09:42 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rgcraig

I'm not Dan, but I'll tell you what I think. With no fault divorce you can be divorced just because you are bored or tired of working on your marriage. If they had to have a fault based divorce it would eliminate the ones that just want to get divorced because they can or want to try someone different. Also, no fault divorce affects the financial piece of the divorce.
However, I believe that there's a increase in fault based divorces too, so it might not actually affect the percentages that much.

I married for life too, but that all changed.

I understand what you are saying, but not sure if the problem is no fault divorce. The argument in favor of no fault divorce is that you don't have to drag someone through the mud to get the divorce.

What did you mean by the bolded statement?

rgcraig · #6 05-19-2008, 09:48 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Baron1710

I understand what you are saying, but not sure if the problem is no fault divorce. The argument in favor of no fault divorce is that you don't have to drag someone through the mud to get the divorce.

What did you mean by the bolded statement?

It could be different from state to state, but even though there was cause (or fault) in my divorce the financial piece of it was 50/50 because of the no fault rule. I wasn't able to get more money even though he was at fault.

I actually had a good amount in my 401(k) because I had always been steadily employed. If it wasn't for the grace of God I would have had to split that with him when he was at fault. It was nothing more than a miracle!

Baron1710 · #7 05-19-2008, 09:50 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by rgcraig

It could be different from state to state, but even though there was cause (or fault) in my divorce the financial piece of it was 50/50 because of the no fault. I wasn't able to get more money even though he was at fault.

This does vary by state. In NC for example adultery is a complete bar to alimony, even though it’s no fault. In DC fault basis is taken into consideration when determining alimony even though it is no fault.

MissBrattified · #8 05-19-2008, 09:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Baron1710

Dan, can you tell me why you think no fault divorce is worse than fault based divorce?

I'm not Dan, but....

To me, a "no-fault" divorce says, "We both just gave up."

Marriage is a promise to stay together no matter what. That promise should be kept.

I don't believe in the "I don't love you anymore" excuse. Love is an action verb, and a choice.

At least if there's a "fault" there's a reason (whether its a good one or not is another matter). Divorcing is breaking a promise, and if it does have to be done, it ought to be for a good reason.

SDG · #9 05-19-2008, 09:32 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MissBrattified

I'm not Dan, but....

To me, a "no-fault" divorce says, "We both just gave up."

Marriage is a promise to stay together no matter what. That promise should be kept.

I don't believe in the "I don't love you anymore" excuse. Love is an action verb, and a choice.

At least if there's a "fault" there's a reason (whether its a good one or not is another matter). Divorcing is breaking a promise, and if it does have to be done, it ought to be for a good reason.

Absolutely Renda and Ms. B ... it also tells the parties that we don't have to have legitimate reasons to end this ... or work this out ... I'm just out because I can.

I know that courts mandate counseling and other nominal programs at times before granting the divorce but it's just way too easy ...

Marraige is for life and for what it's worth I was committed to that until the very, very end until I had to protect myself legally and seek the best for my kids....

nahkoe · #10 05-19-2008, 09:59 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Daniel Alicea

Absolutely Renda and Ms. B ... it also tells the parties that we don't have to have legitimate reasons to end this ... or work this out ... I'm just out because I can.

I know that courts mandate counseling and other nominal programs at times before granting the divorce but it's just way too easy ...

Marraige is for life and for what it's worth I was committed to that until the very, very end until I had to protect myself legally and seek the best for my kids....

Me too. I was willing to do some things that in retrospect would have been very, very bad for me to do. It was only when he made it clear even those concessions weren't going to work, and then absolutely when I had to leave the house for my own safety, that the divorce (no fault btw) happened. I should have signed the papers a lot sooner than I did, and that's saying something since it was 2 months from the time we separated until the divorce was final. I had to protect myself and my children legally, and the divorce paperwork was the only avenue to do that.