Divorce - Adultery Thread

[Rico]

Originally Posted by nahkoe

I used to, does that count? lol (spent a few weeks in Mexico when I was 18, understood well enough to translate btwn English and Spanish..oh the things a person can forget in a few years tho...lol)

I've taken half a semester of college Spanish now. Will be taking a 5 credit Spanish class after I move too, or I think at least.

Well, when it comes to, "Hey babe! I think you are one hot momma!", and, "All right, Big Daddy!", ya don't need words to make yer point! Love don't need no stinkin words!!

[SDG]

Originally Posted by stmatthew

Surely UPCI women don't wear blush!!!! That is makeup!!!!!

Of course they do ... Matt ...

Let's be real. And yes it's make-up.

[Rhoni]

Originally Posted by Baron1710

Dan, can you tell me why you think no fault divorce is worse than fault based divorce?

TO OBTAIN A DIVORCE prior to no-fault you had to prove adultery which means hire aprivate investigater and run the other spouse through the mud before even being allowed a court date much less a divorce.

After no-fault you can get a divorce in anywhere from 30-90 days withoput proving anything. This traumatically increased the avaiability and affordability of a divorce. OP is correct that this was the beginning of the rise of divorce in the United States.

[Baron1710]

Originally Posted by Rhoni

TO OBTAIN A DIVORCE prior to no-fault you had to prove adultery which means hire aprivate investigater and run the other spouse through the mud before even being allowed a court date much less a divorce.

After no-fault you can get a divorce in anywhere from 30-90 days withoput proving anything. This traumatically increased the avaiability and affordability of a divorce. OP is correct that this was the beginning of the rise of divorce in the United States.

There are other fault based reasons besides adultery, such as abandonment, Habitual drunkenness, etc.

Just because no fault availability roughly corresponds to the rise in divorce doesn't mean the no fault divorce is the cause. It could be the other way around. Or they may have no connection at all. It could be like drowning going up when people buy more Coke. The heat causes people to drink more Coke and spend more time in the water. But the purchase of Coke has nothing to do with drowning.

[rgcraig]

Lisa!!!

That sounds just about like what I went through! My mentor and friend went with me to court and was praying the whole time! I also was fortunate to get the "right" judge. I was prepared as well as my attorney - I had everything I needed at my fingertips should he ask for anything.

My ex was answering a question posed by the judge and going on a wild goose chase and the judge looked at him and said, "I know your type". You don't have the answer, sit down, Mrs. Craig do you have the answer to this question. The blood drained from my face and I saw my heartbeat in my chest as I stood up and said, "yes, your honor" and I handed him the records of where my ex had taken $30K out of our home equity line of credit AFTER the papers were signed that should have stopped anything like that.

He was toast after that - - - the judge told me to go sit down I didn't have to say another word.

He stood my ex up and read him the act - - it was such a GOD thing!!!! Oh, the stories I could tell.

I can be driving down the road and the thought goes through my mind how God orchestrated all that and I have to give him thanks over and over again.

[Rhoni]

With my divorce and being married 15 years, and two children I was not granted nor did I even think to ask for alimony even though I had to be retrained/re-educated to enter the work force.

Our separation was for over a year because I had an outstanding lawsuit and he wanted part of the money. After I received the money he wanted to know the amount and wanted a % of the money but the judge denied him both.

I was physically handicapped, with custody of both children, in college, and working a minimum wage job when our divorce was final. Because he kept trying to regain custody after remarriage 8 months later, the judge made us go to counseling on how not to put the children in the middle. It didn't change anything.

He filed bankruptcy, and I was left to pay his debts because I refused to file. I paid $20,000.00 of his tax lien and they sent the refund check to him because I overpaid. He would not sign it unless I gave him half [mind you I paid it all myself and it was his taxes] and I was so desperate for gas and groceries that I agreed.

I filed a lawsuit to recoup my money and was granted a judgement against him for the total and he went to his church and told them that I was the only one he refused to pay and that he was going to file bankruptcy against the debt he owed me. The church [about 35 people] voted that he could do this and he did. I had to pull my children out of a Christian/Apostolic school because of this.

The courts could not attached his wages for child support because he was a minister and self-employed. He was late weeks, and months at a time paying and by the time we'd go to court he'd pay it before the hearing and tell the judge it was paid.

When I signed for Him to have physical custody of our youngest son at 15 years of age because it was his[my son's request] request, he said he wouldn't require me to pay child support. My attorney and I talked it over and I chose to pay support [my oldest was married]. I was late one time and he filed to attach my wages. I was gainfully employed.

When my son called my attorney choosing to come back to live with Momma about 18 months later for his last two years of high school, I took custody back and did not require my ex to pay child support. When my son was emancipated at 18 when he was on his own, my ex tried to get another $500.00 from me. It was researched and he owed me money from the summer months I continues to pay full support although my son was with me in Florida.

I think I know a little about the Family Law system in America.

[Rhoni]

Originally Posted by Baron1710

There are other fault based reasons besides adultery, such as abandonment, Habitual drunkenness, etc.

Just because no fault availability roughly corresponds to the rise in divorce doesn't mean the no fault divorce is the cause. It could be the other way around. Or they may have no connection at all. It could be like drowning going up when people buy more Coke. The heat causes people to drink more Coke and spend more time in the water. But the purchase of Coke has nothing to do with drowning.

It might not be the actual cause but it makes it much easier to divorce on a wim and let the chips fall where they may.

[dizzyde]

Originally Posted by Baron1710

There are other fault based reasons besides adultery, such as abandonment, Habitual drunkenness, etc.

THANK YOU!!!!!



And just for the record, yes, that is exactly what the no-fault divorce did, enable lazy people to get out marriages they were tired of, easily...

OR, it enabled women who were trapped in horrible marriages with no financial means of hiring an attorney to fight out protracted he said/she said divorces, a way to get out of abusive situations and get on with/save their lives.

It is really all a matter of perspective, and unless you have ever lived through any of these situations, perhaps it is unwise to spout off your opinion about it...

[ForeverBlessed]

Originally Posted by rgcraig

Lisa!!!

That sounds just about like what I went through! My mentor and friend went with me to court and was praying the whole time! I also was fortunate to get the "right" judge. I was prepared as well as my attorney - I had everything I needed at my fingertips should he ask for anything.

My ex was answering a question posed by the judge and going on a wild goose chase and the judge looked at him and said, "I know your type". You don't have the answer, sit down, Mrs. Craig do you have the answer to this question. The blood drained from my face and I saw my heartbeat in my chest as I stood up and said, "yes, your honor" and I handed him the records of where my ex had taken $30K out of our home equity line of credit AFTER the papers were signed that should have stopped anything like that.

He was toast after that - - - the judge told me to go sit down I didn't have to say another word.

He stood my ex up and read him the act - - it was such a GOD thing!!!! Oh, the stories I could tell.

I can be driving down the road and the thought goes through my mind how God orchestrated all that and I have to give him thanks over and over again.

I bet you do have stories to tell.. God heard our prayers..

I went to court prepared too…but the judge didn’t even question the fact I wanted all vehicles.. My attorney thought I was being mean for asking for his Truck too… but went along with what I asked. I provided proof that we had just purchased it through a home equity loan…and who do you think was making the home equity loan payment? It was worth three times what my minivan was..and I was tired of seeing her drive it all over town. :-)

I’m telling you it was a matter of the judge signing…my attorney started in with the case in my defense and the judge held up his hand and said “I familiar with Mr. Taylor, don't need to say anymore” then he asked me some personal questions… added more restrictions concerning our children and signed it.

I agree with you... God moved on our behalf… he was with us both.

God moved on my heart sometime later… I gave them the mini van and bought myself a new car… but that was after God had blessed me with a good job and I had gotten on my feet. Divorce can just about devastate a family financially… never happens at a good time.

[rgcraig]

Originally Posted by ForeverBlessed

I bet you do have stories to tell.. God heard our prayers..

I went to court prepared too…but the judge didn’t even question the fact I wanted all vehicles.. My attorney thought I was being mean for asking for his Truck too… but went along with what I asked. I provided proof that we had just purchased it through a home equity loan…and who do you think was making the home equity loan payment? It was worth three times what my minivan was..and I was tired of seeing her drive it all over town. :-)

I’m telling you it was a matter of the judge signing…my attorney started in with the case in my defense and the judge held up his hand and said “I familiar with Mr. Taylor, don't need to say anymore” then he asked me some personal questions… added more restrictions concerning our children and signed it.

I agree with you... God moved on our behalf… he was with us both.

God moved on my heart sometime later… I gave them the mini van and bought myself a new car… but that was after God had blessed me with a good job and I had gotten on my feet. Divorce can just about devastate a family financially… never happens at a good time.

Amen!

Yes, financially it's very devastating, but I will say even though things aren't perfect, I feel blessed!