Divorce - Adultery Thread

[Joelel]

I think people look at porn because they don't have a good relationship with their spouse. Things like,people need to have relations with the light on instead of in the dark.You can E-mail me if you want council.

Originally Posted by Joelel

I think people look at porn because they don't have a good relationship with their spouse. Things like,people need to have relations with the light on instead of in the dark.You can E-mail me if you want council.

Sometimes that's definitely part of it. But sometimes there are other reasons. Sometimes fantasy becomes a place where a man can feel in charge or in control especially if he feels his life is out of control. It's more complicated than many think. Often the reasons are as varied as the men who struggle.

[Joelel]

Originally Posted by Grasshopper

Sometimes that's definitely part of it. But sometimes there are other reasons. Sometimes fantasy becomes a place where a man can feel in charge or in control especially if he feels his life is out of control. It's more complicated than many think. Often the reasons are as varied as the men who struggle.

That's what I'm saying,if you don't have a good relationship your life is out of control. Anytime a person don't have a good relationship the devils step in and take control.I wouldn't call it fantasy,I would call it lust.

Originally Posted by Joelel

That's what I'm saying,if you don't have a good relationship your life is out of control. Anytime a person don't have a good relationship the devils step in and take control.I wouldn't call it fantasy,I would call it lust.

You might disagree with me, and I could be wrong, but I believe there's a difference between fantasy and lust.

Sometimes the mind might go on a flight of fancy, you catch yourself and get your focus back. A fantasy is something one doesn't intend to, couldn't do, and wouldn't do if they had the opportunity. A young person fantasizing about a teacher, model, actor, or musician. A young person fantasizing about the person they'd like to marry. A husband of 15 years who's mind goes on a flight of fancy about some actress in a television show he and his wife watch together. In every situation presented the thought is innocent and the person has no intension to really do anything. That's fantasy.

But don't be fooled though, while a fantasy isn't always lust...a fantasy can turn into lust. So guard your thought life.

But now let's look at lust. Lust is a husband who starts gazing at the young 20 something who likes to sunbathe out in the back yard next door; wearing her "next to nothing" bikini. He thinks about her. He thinks about her a lot. His heart begins beating faster when he sees her jaunt down her front steps as she embarks on her evening run after work. He likes to sit on the porch and sip his iced tea...waiting for her to come home so he can adore her as she does cool downs before going in for a shower. He likes to catch her and talk to her. He watches her laugh, her mannerisms, her walk, the way she moves in her clothes. He thinks about what it would be like if she came on to him and the wife wasn't home. Not only is he willing in his thoughts...he's willing in reality. When his wife isn't home he makes himself visible for the thrill of the possibility with the neighbor woman. He has her in his sights and he's setting the trap...but what he doesn't know is that he's the prey. He's decided just what to say to her to open the door for the possibility. He has her in his sights and now she' his target...but he's the hunted. He's one casual circumstance away from the action...he looks upon her "to lust" after her. He's already committed the adultery in his heart.

It could be he neighbor lady, a woman at work, a woman in choir at church that he jokes with all the time. It's someone within reach and it's something he's willing or desires to actually do. That's lust.