At this time, I am still in the UPC and follow moderate standards... I have a french manicure, wear some light makeup... my hair is growing out again, but for the most part I would be identified as UPC. Just don't stop by my house unannounced in the summer time.
I have to say it has been a wild ride over the last 7-8 years... but it has been a process in changing my belief system. I'm still not living what I believe totally because I am still in a UPCI church... I love the worship and it is my heritage. I don't make changes easy... never know what might happen in 5 years or so though.
Some here might remember my Ruth Reider experience... (old FCF) I was raised UPC, but trimmed my hair off and on until I was approx 32... then I was handed RR's book to read. I didn't read or study the bible, so hey, I needed it explained ya know
... I had absolutely no clue where we got the pants scripture until an older saint gave me the scripture after seeing my daughters in pants when they were little.
I fell for the whole power in hair theory... stopped trimming my hair and put the hammer down on my girls. I let my hair grow for about 4 years total... it went down past my backside and I didn't like it, but I thought I was keeping protection over my husband. When he left his family I found that those special powers in my hair didn't help that... my house caught on fire and we were displaced and my husband left me all in two weeks... My hair was not working now!! It sent me in a tailspin... I had already been challenged online to put my RR books down and study of all things.. The Bible itself.. and I did.
I read and poured over scripture for hours, I fasted.. I will never forget the day I was ending a 3 day fast over the subject of "hair" and all the material laid out over my dining room table, the computer running, the bible open... I laid my head down and sobbed... told God I needed an answer.. I saw it wasn't biblical, but I was afraid to trust what I had seen. The bible open, my eyes fell upon
Romans 14:22 Hast thou faith? have it to thyself before God. Happy is he that condemneth not himself in that thing which he alloweth. I knew I had found my answer. A few days later I went and had my hair cut to my waist... which ended up being about 17 inches or so. I gave it to locks of love and never looked back. Actually, at one point back in 05 or so, my hair was at my shoulders... found I actually like it longer.. so grew some of it back.
For a while, I did pretty much what I wanted to do... which wasn't that much... I guess I am boring.. lol I did wear makeup, did go to movies.. found I hated jewelry... I sincerely asked God to convict if something was not pleasing to him. I believe he will answer that prayer... I wanted so desperately to be led of the Spirit. He did, and I formed convictions. I felt very free to honor him with devotion of the heart and not worry about this outward junk...
what I found was one of the most surprising things... I fell in love with Jesus.. I actually found myself conservative on things that many people in the UPC act like isn't necessary... I started focusing on honesty, integrity, attitudes... I read the bible and started applying the Words of Jesus to my life... found God is very concerned about the way I handle my finances, doesn't approve of gluttony and that includes far more than food. I faced my emotional eating for the first time.. the list just keeps going. I'm conservative on divorce, I wouldn't watch half the stuff that I see others even in my own family watch... I have strict standards on anything I read or see... those convictions are from my heart though... and I feel are necessary for me. I finally have a relationship with God.
I ended up giving my daughters a choice... explained what I believed and why I believed it through bible study.. (and they witnessed that studying, praying and even fasting) I might follow the standards, but I refused to raise my girls believing that it has anything to do with salvation. They do not equate standards with their belief, faith or salvation in God. If have felt if I can get my girls to love God from their heart early, they will never depart from him...the relationship is there to keep them.
My girls know what it is to live a Pentecostal life of worshipping on Sunday yet not follow dress standards on Monday morning.... they are not convicted because standards are not associated with their salvation.
I've been back in our Choir now for about 5 months. My layered haircut is looking shaggy, but I keep on going on... I am being faithful to my signed paper. (for choir)
I love my UPC church, but if I found a church that I felt comfortable in that was Apostolic in doctrine yet wouldn't be hung up on standards, I would be there. There are many days that I wish I could live exactly as I feel and still be used in the gifts that I believe God gave me. Anybody liberal got a calling to the city of Indianapolis?
I have discussed in length how I feel about standards with family, not all is favorable or accepting of what I believe now.. but I've found that I'm still accepted. I'm not serving family, but God. there is freedom and liberty in following the leading of the Holy Ghost and not following man...
The most difficult thing I face is the association with my family who is still in the UPCI ministry ... I have invested in more hair pieces for church or district functions... I gripe that cut hair pieces are acceptable, but cut hair is not. lol
I respect how I was raised... I don't fight it like I used to... I believe what I believe and await change or await the day I can move South.
Hybrid Mode
