To all you ladies out there - Page 6

MissBrattified · #51 07-31-2008, 08:12 PM

Okay, I'll bite. We attended a church for 4 1/2 years whose dress standards were MUCH stricter than our own. So when we resigned, and went somewhere else, I immediately reverted back to my own personal standards of dress, which I had adhered to prior to attending that church.

Hopefully you live by your own personal convictions and by biblical principle 100% of the time. Now, if you have a church that asks you to follow additional rules, in my opinion, you should abide by them, or, if you feel you cannot, then be up front with the pastor about your objection, and have an "understanding" with him regarding your noncompliance.

I do hate it that folks feel they have to hide.

Carpenter · #52 07-31-2008, 08:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MissBrattified

I do hate it that folks feel they have to hide.

It is not the folks who feel they have to hide, it is the feeling of shame being put on by those who believe they are living the life and helping out the pastor.

I used to be absolutely terrified that someone in the church would see me in my golf/cargo shorts, now I think it is funny when they see me in pants in the 100 degree heat of summer, I can almost SEE them breathe an audible sigh of disappointment that they didn't catch me, while at the same time they are greatful to see that I am living the life.

Sister Alvear · #53 07-31-2008, 09:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by live4him

Well i have a question to all the ladies, whether you are a con or a lib or ultra con, if or when you changed from being a conservative to a lib or other, what was the first thing you went and did when you changed churches or quit going to church, standard wise,

did you cut your hair first?
did you wear pants and shorts?
did you put makeup on?

what was it that you did differently,

and no i do not plan to change but i am tired of people trying to measure your spirituality by what you wear and what you look like,

i will not change my dress or other, but i am a conservative, i am just tired of being measured

please your opinions

I agree with you I am so tired of people measuring things...I just want to be a christian. I think that sums it up...
I am not hear to judge...I am here to be blessed. I hate people sending others to hell...
One of my boys said, Mom, men that don´t believe in women preachers will go to hell... I let him know right fast I was not coming to hear his sermon...

I don´t light fights...

Rhoni · #54 07-31-2008, 09:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MissBrattified

Okay, I'll bite. We attended a church for 4 1/2 years whose dress standards were MUCH stricter than our own. So when we resigned, and went somewhere else, I immediately reverted back to my own personal standards of dress, which I had adhered to prior to attending that church.

Hopefully you live by your own personal convictions and by biblical principle 100% of the time. Now, if you have a church that asks you to follow additional rules, in my opinion, you should abide by them, or, if you feel you cannot, then be up front with the pastor about your objection, and have an "understanding" with him regarding your noncompliance.

I do hate it that folks feel they have to hide.

MissBrattified,

Your situation is similar to mine. While in Florida I returned to A UPCI church and adhered to their platform standard out of respect for the Pastor and what he stood for. I had become totally immersed again in the UPCI culture.

When I moved to Texas approx. 2 years ago I went to an Apostolic Church that wasn't UPCI and reverted back to the dress standards I had kept prior to the three year stint in the Florida UPCI church.

Both ways of dress are 'comfortable', and 'familiar to me. I could be/go either way and make the best of it. I don't feel as if I have to hide but I do feel more accepted the conservative UPCI way.

It does matter, I assume, who it is you want to be accepted by more. When I figure it out - I'll let you know. Too bad I can't be accepted by both and just 'be'.

Blessings, Rhoni

Rhoni · #55 07-31-2008, 09:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sister Alvear

I agree with you I am so tired of people measuring things...I just want to be a christian. I think that sums it up...
I am not hear to judge...I am here to be blessed. I hate people sending others to hell...
One of my boys said, Mom, men that don´t believe in women preachers will go to hell... I let him know right fast I was not coming to hear his sermon...

I don´t light fights...

Sis. Alvear,

It has always been my feeling that you accept me - flaws and all. If not, don't tell me. I do hope you straightened your boy out on that women preacher thing...LOL...what does he think you do?

Blessings, Rhoni

live4him · #56 07-31-2008, 09:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sister Alvear

I agree with you I am so tired of people measuring things...I just want to be a christian. I think that sums it up...
I am not hear to judge...I am here to be blessed. I hate people sending others to hell...
One of my boys said, Mom, men that don´t believe in women preachers will go to hell... I let him know right fast I was not coming to hear his sermon...

I don´t light fights...

i appreciate what you have said. i am tired of being measured by mu standars and not the fruit,i try hard to live for God and i will abide but i want people to know i do not hide anything from anybody. all i know is the Lord sees me and let him be my judge

OnTheFritz · #57 07-31-2008, 09:33 PM

Nice post, Rhoni. Thanks for taking the time to write it. I've seen similar situations, and sympathize with what you have gone through.

Rhoni · #58 07-31-2008, 10:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DerrickS

Nice post, Rhoni. Thanks for taking the time to write it. I've seen similar situations, and sympathize with what you have gone through.

You know, Solomon told us there is nothing new under the sun...and he was right! I am not the first, nor the last to go through such things...but God is consistent isn't He?

Blessings, Rhoni

MissBrattified · #59 07-31-2008, 11:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Carpenter

It is not the folks who feel they have to hide, it is the feeling of shame being put on by those who believe they are living the life and helping out the pastor.

Well, I was really thinking of myself, too, when I said "folks." And I wasn't blaming people for feeling the need to hide...anything. You can want to hide something because it is wrong, or you can conceal it because other people perceive it as wrong, and will judge you negatively because of It. If its the former, the burden is on you to correct the behavior, but if its the latter, you simply have to figure out if their opinions matter, and act accordingly. (ergo, Rhoni's post)

I have some ingrained stigmas that I still feel guilty about, even though I *know* there's nothing to feel bad about.

Quote:

I used to be absolutely terrified that someone in the church would see me in my golf/cargo shorts, now I think it is funny when they see me in pants in the 100 degree heat of summer, I can almost SEE them breathe an audible sigh of disappointment that they didn't catch me, while at the same time they are greatful to see that I am living the life.

Are you sure you're not projecting their disappointment at your "good behavior?"

Michlow · #60 08-01-2008, 06:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by live4him

Well i have a question to all the ladies, whether you are a con or a lib or ultra con, if or when you changed from being a conservative to a lib or other, what was the first thing you went and did when you changed churches or quit going to church, standard wise,

did you cut your hair first?
did you wear pants and shorts?
did you put makeup on?

what was it that you did differently,

and no i do not plan to change but i am tired of people trying to measure your spirituality by what you wear and what you look like,

i will not change my dress or other, but i am a conservative, i am just tired of being measured

please your opinions

By the time I quit going to an Apostolic church all together, I had already NOT been following the standards for quite some time. I choose to continue to go to an OP church as long as I agreed with the majority of the doctrine, regardless of what I thought about standard issues. Nevertheless, as long as I was attending that church, I kept my hair long (but trimmed it), and didn't wear pants to church, out of respect (though honestly, it was not the type of church where anyone would give you a hard time about it)

I chose to leave that church when I found that my views on other doctrine had changed, and I reached the point where I disagreed with more than I agreed with.

Up to that point, though I occasionally wore pants in certain situations, I wore skirts/dresses the majority of the time, my hair was also still to my waist.

I think it was about 5 months before I cut my hair significantly, (2 or 3 inches past shoulders), but it was probably almost a year before I started wearing pants more frequently. I just realized recently, that I haven't worn a skirt in quite some time.