Emotional Vampires

[Rhoni]

Originally Posted by dizzyde

I have known quite a few, I have actually decided that I somehow attract them! I will have friendships with people that start out great, and then all of the sudden I am in this huge trap of being the emotional support for someone.

That is not to say that I mind helping people, I don't, that is why I have wound up in these situations. I have a very strong ability to empathize, which sometimes is a curse.

When it turns into a problem is when you give and give and try endlessly to help someone, and you continually wind up back at the same place, with the same problems, and this person sucking you dry emotionally while never doing the things they need to do to get out of their problems.

The hardest part for me, is when I realize I have to cut the cord because I cannot help the person, it makes me feel like a monster. I will of course continue to love them and pray for them, but I cannot kill myself trying to help someone, who ultimately, if the truth be told, doesn't really want help, they just want attention.

Side note, the majority of people who I have experienced this with have not been church people.

Dizzy,

It is easy to fall into the co-dependent trap of needing to be needed. Boundaries are good here too. Many co-dependent people deny their own needs while helping others, and then getting angry at the other person when they become overwhelmed or feeling empty.

Blessings, Rhoni

[dizzyde]

Originally Posted by Rhoni

Dizzy,

It is easy to fall into the co-dependent trap of needing to be needed. Boundaries are good here too. Many co-dependent people deny their own needs while helping others, and then getting angry at the other person when they become overwhelmed or feeling empty.

Blessings, Rhoni

This is true, and it is usually when I find myself starting to feel angry and trapped, that I know it has reached the point where it is not healthy.

I don't mean to sound like this happens every day, but I have found myself in this position probably 4 or 5 times in the last 10 to 15 years. I have gotten much better at reading the signs and seeing people more clearly as time has gone by, it doesn't happen so much anymore. That kind of makes me sad as well, because I wonder if I have built up too many walls.