Self-Mutilation/"Cutting" - Page 5

Rhoni · #41 08-24-2008, 06:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by George

The cases I have been familiar with were caused from sexual abuse. It is tragic to know someone can be that desperate. Blessings to you for helping the wounded.

George,

The highest % are those who have suffered sexual abuse as a child. The cutting continues well into adulthood until they can get help to relieve the pain.

Blessings,
Rhoni

Rhoni · #42 08-24-2008, 07:54 PM

This came to me today in a PM and the person wanted me to share it.

Quote:

I have no idea when I started, I can remember doing things to hurt myself as far back as I have any memories. I think I was somewhere around 16, 17 the last time I cut.
I didn't just quit cutting, I replaced it with other things. I'm wondering now if the abusive relationship didn't fulfill that need/desire to inflict pain. I didn't recognize it as being abusive then, but I'm thinking back to the guilt when I made mistakes, and he would ride me hard when I did something "wrong".

I was vegan for awhile, vegetarian for even longer, I went carb free before low carb was a diet..lol I've micromanaged food for as long as I can remember.

I wonder if depression itself isn't a behavior I've used to inflict self harm. I really can't remember not being depressed, not until I went on medication after my ex left. And if there was stress, tension, I'd sink in a very fast hurry. I have battled suicidal thoughts for as long as I can remember.

But, not recently. Yes, I hurt. Yes, I've been under a lot of stress. I have clung to God with everything I have within me. It's the only difference I can come up with, this is the first time I've clung to God like this, ever. And I haven't been depressed or suicidal. I *have* had some urges to cut (last time I had any urge to cut was when my 2nd was a baby and I had ppd horribly..I didn't cut then cuz I did not want to model that for my babies), but they've been fleeting.

I was thinking earlier today, actually before I saw the thread about cutting, about depression and self harm and wondering if just maybe it had gotten to be so comfortable that I find security and comfort in it and let it build, grow, and nearly destroy me.

The depression was comfortable, warm, soft, security blanket, comfortable.

Rhoni · #43 08-24-2008, 08:11 PM

There is another pm that someone else wanted me to share:

Quote:

I have been Apostolic all my life. Right now I have over 12 open wounds on my arm that I will not let heal. I have not been sexually abused, but have been abused nonetheless. I have been spiritually abused as well as emotionally abused.

I would like to stop hurting myself but as long as it is me doing the hurting then I have all the control. If I stop hurting myself then 'they' have all the control and I cannot cope with that.

I am not demon possessed or oppressed but I am hurting because of Apostolic people who feel they have a right to abuse me in the name of Jesus.

TalkLady · #44 08-24-2008, 08:21 PM

I haven't read this whole thread, so I may be redundant here....

I used to work with teens who did cutting and skin picking...One girl told me that the only time she felt anything is when she cut herself. She had been sexually and emotionally abused...I think statistics say that at least 50% of the people who self-mutilate were sexually and/or emotionally abused. For some, it is their way of coping with stress. It worked to displace their emotional pain and replace it with physical pain.

Also, there is even peer pressure to do cutting. The other girls who were her friends began cutting to be more accepted in the group. Another girl would twist and pull her hair until it fell out.

There is a book called Self Mutilation that came out in the late 80s. I remember that Karl Menninger said that it was a form of "partial suicide" to avoid "total suicide"....When people do penance by whipping themselves with chains and crawling through glass, isn't that a form of self-mutilation? ….Look at those who tried to please the Gods in heathen countries. Lots of self-mutilation in some other cultures in the name of “spirituality”…

I recall another girl who was so disappointed with some things she had done that she wanted to punish herself and said that she didn't deserve to live or to be happy. Thus, she cut herself.

It is not to be viewed as "attention getting behavior" ....Most people will go to great lengths to hide the evidence that they are self-mutilating. The reasons for it happening are as varied as the abuse or other reasons that precipitated the self-mutilation.

Many times eating disorders go along with the cutting. If you know anyone doing this, PRAY for that person (and encourage that person to seek professional help - if it continues).

Rhoni, here is a book at amazon.com that you might be interested in reading, if you have not already…I think it came out a year or two ago…..I read a few of the excerpts:

http://www.amazon.com/Treating-Self-.../dp/1593852169

ILG · #45 08-24-2008, 08:24 PM

When I worked as a domestic violence advocate I saw 'cutting' more than I'd ever seen it before. Mostly by younger girls who had been sexually abused. What I find odd about it all is that years ago, girls acted out with anorexia/bulimia or promiscuity or something like that. But now, it's wierd. Suddenly everyone is 'cutting'. I don't know. It almost seems like a fad. I am not trying to dismiss the seriousness of it, as I know it is a serious issue. It just makes me wonder about the 'choice' of acting out.

TalkLady · #46 08-24-2008, 08:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ILG

When I worked as a domestic violence advocate I saw 'cutting' more than I'd ever seen it before. Mostly by younger girls who had been sexually abused. What I find odd about it all is that years ago, girls acted out with anorexia/bulimia or promiscuity or something like that. But now, it's wierd. Suddenly everyone is 'cutting'. I don't know. It almost seems like a fad. I am not trying to dismiss the seriousness of it, as I know it is a serious issue. It just makes me wonder about the 'choice' of acting out.

With all the gore in horror movies, I personally think that in some small way that may have something to do with it - but I've been told that is far-fetched supposition. What about the violence on the street that teens see, too?

I used to hear young kids talk about things they had seen in movies and I wondered why would any parent let their child watch some of those movies??

nahkoe · #47 08-24-2008, 08:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ILG

When I worked as a domestic violence advocate I saw 'cutting' more than I'd ever seen it before. Mostly by younger girls who had been sexually abused. What I find odd about it all is that years ago, girls acted out with anorexia/bulimia or promiscuity or something like that. But now, it's wierd. Suddenly everyone is 'cutting'. I don't know. It almost seems like a fad. I am not trying to dismiss the seriousness of it, as I know it is a serious issue. It just makes me wonder about the 'choice' of acting out.

IMO, it's just talked about more. Promiscuity and eating disorders haven't gone anywhere. Anyone notice the extreme increase in younger kids with multiple, visible, tattoos? How about gauging your ears? Body piercings? All of this is, IMO, and IME, related.

Rhoni · #48 08-24-2008, 08:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by TalkLady

I haven't read this whole thread, so I may be redundant here....

I used to work with teens who did cutting and skin picking...One girl told me that the only time she felt anything is when she cut herself. She had been sexually and emotionally abused...I think statistics say that at least 50% of the people who self-mutilate were sexually and/or emotionally abused. For some, it is their way of coping with stress. It worked to displace their emotional pain and replace it with physical pain.

Also, there is even peer pressure to do cutting. The other girls who were her friends began cutting to be more accepted in the group. Another girl would twist and pull her hair until it fell out.

There is a book called Self Mutilation that came out in the late 80s. I remember that Karl Menninger said that it was a form of "partial suicide" to avoid "total suicide"....When people do penance by whipping themselves with chains and crawling through glass, isn't that a form of self-mutilation? ….Look at those who tried to please the Gods in heathen countries. Lots of self-mutilation in some other cultures in the name of “spirituality”…

I recall another girl who was so disappointed with some things she had done that she wanted to punish herself and said that she didn't deserve to live or to be happy. Thus, she cut herself.

It is not to be viewed as "attention getting behavior" ....Most people will go to great lengths to hide the evidence that they are self-mutilating. The reasons for it happening are as varied as the abuse or other reasons that precipitated the self-mutilation.

Many times eating disorders go along with the cutting. If you know anyone doing this, PRAY for that person (and encourage that person to seek professional help - if it continues).

Rhoni, here is a book at amazon.com that you might be interested in reading, if you have not already…I think it came out a year or two ago…..I read a few of the excerpts:

http://www.amazon.com/Treating-Self-.../dp/1593852169

TalkLady,

Thank you for such a well thought out post. I have not read that particular book but will get it. I haven't seen as many issues of 'peer pressure' as I have seen of siblings copying the way they saw an older sibling deal with the same abuse issue.

You are correct, eating disorders often accompany this type of behavior; anorexia, bullemia, and binge eating [obesity]. Yes...prayer to help stabilize emotional turmoil is the best thing.

Blessings, Rhoni

ILG · #49 08-24-2008, 08:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nahkoe

IMO, it's just talked about more. Promiscuity and eating disorders haven't gone anywhere. Anyone notice the extreme increase in younger kids with multiple, visible, tattoos? How about gauging your ears? Body piercings? All of this is, IMO, and IME, related.

I am not convinced that it is just talked about more.

Rhoni · #50 08-24-2008, 08:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nahkoe

IMO, it's just talked about more. Promiscuity and eating disorders haven't gone anywhere. Anyone notice the extreme increase in younger kids with multiple, visible, tattoos? How about gauging your ears? Body piercings? All of this is, IMO, and IME, related.

Absolutely. The number and size of tattoos and piercings have definitely increased. I do agree that these thigns have always been here, but today they are talked about more often and more openly.

Thank you for your input.

Blessings, Rhoni