You might be Apostolic if...

[soldoutochrist]

You might be Apostolic if . . .

You and all the girls you know own thirteen pairs of black shoes, eight black skirts, and five denim skirts.
Everything in your bathroom is coated in hair and hairspray.
You can quote your pastor better than you can quote scripture.
You suspect that Sis. Bessie who sits on the pew in front of you dyes her hair.
You’ve ever told a non-Apostolic Christian that you were praying for God to lead him/her into all truth.
It’s just not a good service if you didn’t run the aisles at least once or twice.
You’ve been told that your sideburns are too long.
Someone's testimony made you blush.
You can remember a time when poofs and bows were in style -- and the bigger the better!
The Apostolic church across town is either “too strict” or “too liberal,” but yours is just right.
You're a Democrat and most of your church people think you need to pray through over that.
The service lasts shorter than the time you took to fix your hair for it.
You speak in tongues on a roller coaster.
Your pastor wears a shirt and tie to the church picnic.
Your skirt length and hair length are the same.


http://www.ninetyandnine.com/fblog/2...apostolic.html

[Aquila]

You're a Democrat and most of your church people think you need to pray through over that.

I love it! LOL

[pelathais]

Originally Posted by Aquila

I love it! LOL

... aqnd you are praying aren't you Aquila?

[Cindy]

Wow, I am not apostolic according to this criteria.

[jdm05]

Originally Posted by soldoutochrist

You might be Apostolic if . . .

You and all the girls you know own thirteen pairs of black shoes, eight black skirts, and five denim skirts.
Everything in your bathroom is coated in hair and hairspray.
You can quote your pastor better than you can quote scripture.
You suspect that Sis. Bessie who sits on the pew in front of you dyes her hair.
You’ve ever told a non-Apostolic Christian that you were praying for God to lead him/her into all truth.
It’s just not a good service if you didn’t run the aisles at least once or twice.
You’ve been told that your sideburns are too long.
Someone's testimony made you blush.
You can remember a time when poofs and bows were in style -- and the bigger the better!
The Apostolic church across town is either “too strict” or “too liberal,” but yours is just right.
You're a Democrat and most of your church people think you need to pray through over that.
The service lasts shorter than the time you took to fix your hair for it.
You speak in tongues on a roller coaster.
Your pastor wears a shirt and tie to the church picnic.
Your skirt length and hair length are the same.


http://www.ninetyandnine.com/fblog/2...apostolic.html

LOL!!! I was born and raised in AA. When I was in school there were two UPC girls. When I found out they did not wear veils to a service, I thought they were committing the greatest sin. LOL!!! My, my, how times have changed. No longer in the AA.

[Margies3]

Originally Posted by jdm05

LOL!!! I was born and raised in AA. When I was in school there were two UPC girls. When I found out they did not wear veils to a service, I thought they were committing the greatest sin. LOL!!! My, my, how times have changed. No longer in the AA.

AA = Alcolholics Anonymous???

[nahkoe]

Originally Posted by Margies3

AA = Alcolholics Anonymous???

Apostolic Assemblies I think?

[Aquila]

Originally Posted by pelathais

... aqnd you are praying aren't you Aquila?

Yeah, my Republican brothers and sisters need lots and lots of prayer.

[RandyWayne]

Originally Posted by soldoutochrist

You might be Apostolic if . . .

You and all the girls you know own thirteen pairs of black shoes, eight black skirts, and five denim skirts.
Everything in your bathroom is coated in hair and hairspray.
You can quote your pastor better than you can quote scripture.
You suspect that Sis. Bessie who sits on the pew in front of you dyes her hair.
You’ve ever told a non-Apostolic Christian that you were praying for God to lead him/her into all truth.
It’s just not a good service if you didn’t run the aisles at least once or twice.
You’ve been told that your sideburns are too long.
Someone's testimony made you blush.
You can remember a time when poofs and bows were in style -- and the bigger the better!
The Apostolic church across town is either “too strict” or “too liberal,” but yours is just right.
You're a Democrat and most of your church people think you need to pray through over that.
The service lasts shorter than the time you took to fix your hair for it.
You speak in tongues on a roller coaster.
Your pastor wears a shirt and tie to the church picnic.
Your skirt length and hair length are the same.

http://www.ninetyandnine.com/fblog/2...apostolic.html

All vacation plans are subject to the pastors approval.

The first time you are OFFICIALLY allowed to be ALONE with your wife in any way is on your wedding night.

And speaking of wedding nights, your married on a Saturday night and seen in church the next morning just to show the rest of the congregation that your now allowed to sit next to each other.

Continuing on the marriage theme, you posted an open wedding invitation for the wedding AND reception for all church members and their families on the bulletin board.....

.....which doesn't matter much because the reception will be in the church basement....

.....potluck style.

You will have your first baby 9-10 months after said wedding night.

You won't own a TV but will spend an hour watching it at Sears.....

....unless your really holy, then you'll avert your eyes (in grand fashion for all to see) as you walk by the electronics section.

If you come across a "non-traditional" person or couple, such as gay couple, goth, punk, etc, in the mall, you'll take great pains to walk on the other side so as to not have to come too close -unlike some who call themselves "Christian" would actually smile at them as they passed.

As you stop at a diner for your after-Wed service dinner, you'll either leave no tip or a couple of bucks despite the group bill being 60-80.

[jaxfam6]

Originally Posted by jdm05

LOL!!! I was born and raised in AA. When I was in school there were two UPC girls. When I found out they did not wear veils to a service, I thought they were committing the greatest sin. LOL!!! My, my, how times have changed. No longer in the AA.

that is funny. I was raised much more strict than the UPC and now I attend an AA church. =) my wife does not wear a veil though. No one seems to have a problem with that.