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  #311  
Old 03-26-2009, 04:05 PM
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Re: Why would a Pastor do this to me ?

For the record, I once had a neighboring pastor complain about me teaching at a national conference. I was told that they believed the charges had no merit, but to be "safe" because of the complaint, they had to cancel my appearance.

I was so upset that I went to that pastor to ask him why he went to so much trouble to prevent me from teaching. He admitted that he had never heard a negative word about me, but I was merely guilty of association with my pastor!

What had my pastor done? I think he allowed some families that had left this pastor's church to attend our church. I guess the right thing to do would have been to refuse those families an Apostolic church and let them attend a Baptist church or something!
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  #312  
Old 03-26-2009, 04:11 PM
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Re: Why would a Pastor do this to me ?

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Originally Posted by mizpeh View Post
How did you "get over it", Pel?

How were you able to forgive those who wronged you and others?
My "problem" is that I loved the people who did me wrong, and I still do. Love is supposed to "thinketh no evil..." so the feelings were very Topsy turvy. I don't think I did "get over it" nor will I.

Maybe it's like the wound that Frodo suffered when the Witch-King of Angmar stabbed him with the Morgul-blade. His body healed, but only the trip with the elves to the Undying Lands brought final comfort.

Also, there was a true illness at work behind the scenes. It's something that we as Pentecostals are supposed to say doesn't exist, but mental illness is real. I battled with that conclusion for a long time. Was "the devil" controlling this person at times? My own Superintendent offered some consolation and wisdom, while also avoiding taking sides in the both the personal issue and the mental health debate...

He said, "That just wasn't them..." Apparently, many folks find a certain dichotomy and a way to compartmentalize the conflicting behaviors of fellow believers. I guess, like when Frodo went after Sam with a sword while under the influence of the Ring. That "wasn't" Frodo, though Frodo bore the sword.

Perhaps that's a silly way to look at it. But it has given me some comfort to find a literary equivalent for something that I am experiencing.
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  #313  
Old 03-26-2009, 04:22 PM
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Re: Why would a Pastor do this to me ?

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Originally Posted by Mr. Steinway View Post
For the record, I once had a neighboring pastor complain about me teaching at a national conference. I was told that they believed the charges had no merit, but to be "safe" because of the complaint, they had to cancel my appearance.

I was so upset that I went to that pastor to ask him why he went to so much trouble to prevent me from teaching. He admitted that he had never heard a negative word about me, but I was merely guilty of association with my pastor!

What had my pastor done? I think he allowed some families that had left this pastor's church to attend our church. I guess the right thing to do would have been to refuse those families an Apostolic church and let them attend a Baptist church or something!
That sort of stuff just baffles me. Here, the guy knew he was doing wrong. And, the organizers knew a wrong was being done, but all of the parties acted in concert to mold a fellowship into conformity with that which is wrong... !!??!!

Why do we demand to build ourselves up with wood, hay and stubble? It staggers me. We insist upon doing the wrong thing so much of the time.
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  #314  
Old 03-26-2009, 04:23 PM
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Re: Why would a Pastor do this to me ?

Most who fuss about being hurt have scalps hanging from belts.They were born mad and have gotten worse. God bless their hearts.
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  #315  
Old 03-26-2009, 04:24 PM
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Re: Why would a Pastor do this to me ?

Quote:
Originally Posted by pelathais View Post
My "problem" is that I loved the people who did me wrong, and I still do. Love is supposed to "thinketh no evil..." so the feelings were very Topsy turvy. I don't think I did "get over it" nor will I.

Maybe it's like the wound that Frodo suffered when the Witch-King of Angmar stabbed him with the Morgul-blade. His body healed, but only the trip with the elves to the Undying Lands brought final comfort.

Also, there was a true illness at work behind the scenes. It's something that we as Pentecostals are supposed to say doesn't exist, but mental illness is real. I battled with that conclusion for a long time. Was "the devil" controlling this person at times? My own Superintendent offered some consolation and wisdom, while also avoiding taking sides in the both the personal issue and the mental health debate...

He said, "That just wasn't them..." Apparently, many folks find a certain dichotomy and a way to compartmentalize the conflicting behaviors of fellow believers. I guess, like when Frodo went after Sam with a sword while under the influence of the Ring. That "wasn't" Frodo, though Frodo bore the sword.

Perhaps that's a silly way to look at it. But it has given me some comfort to find a literary equivalent for something that I am experiencing.
Many times abuse happens to parishioners who deeply love their pastors. This is what makes it hurt that much more! I won't go into detail, but it happened to me.

A pastor that I respected and loved, took advantage of my loyalty and respect for authority to coax me into doing something personal for him financially that cost me and my relatives thousands of dollars. There was no promise of gain in the venture for me or my family. I only was trying to please my pastor! I was told that he would pay me back one way or another, but that was 20 years ago and I still haven't received one penny!
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  #316  
Old 03-26-2009, 04:25 PM
mizpeh mizpeh is offline
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Re: Why would a Pastor do this to me ?

Quote:
Originally Posted by pelathais View Post
My "problem" is that I loved the people who did me wrong, and I still do. Love is supposed to "thinketh no evil..." so the feelings were very Topsy turvy. I don't think I did "get over it" nor will I.

Maybe it's like the wound that Frodo suffered when the Witch-King of Angmar stabbed him with the Morgul-blade. His body healed, but only the trip with the elves to the Undying Lands brought final comfort.

Also, there was a true illness at work behind the scenes. It's something that we as Pentecostals are supposed to say doesn't exist, but mental illness is real. I battled with that conclusion for a long time. Was "the devil" controlling this person at times? My own Superintendent offered some consolation and wisdom, while also avoiding taking sides in the both the personal issue and the mental health debate...

He said, "That just wasn't them..." Apparently, many folks find a certain dichotomy and a way to compartmentalize the conflicting behaviors of fellow believers. I guess, like when Frodo went after Sam with a sword while under the influence of the Ring. That "wasn't" Frodo, though Frodo bore the sword.

Perhaps that's a silly way to look at it. But it has given me some comfort to find a literary equivalent for something that I am experiencing.
I prefer Biblical equivalents.

Can't you find any Biblical equivalents to help you "get over it"?

If you love those who wronged you, why do you continue to bring up the wrongs? Love covers a multitude of sin. 1 Peter 4:8
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  #317  
Old 03-26-2009, 04:27 PM
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Re: Why would a Pastor do this to me ?

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Originally Posted by Steve Epley View Post
Most who fuss about being hurt have scalps hanging from belts.They were born mad and have gotten worse. God bless their hearts.
Can you substantiate this claim? I agree that I've seen the "I am hurt..." and especially the "I am offended..." line being wielded as a weapon.

But such a blanket statement that you've thrown out there at least appears to justify some real injustices; and I know that you would not do so personally. But such is the effect of a blanket statement.
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  #318  
Old 03-26-2009, 04:30 PM
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Re: Why would a Pastor do this to me ?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Steve Epley View Post
Most who fuss about being hurt have scalps hanging from belts.They were born mad and have gotten worse. God bless their hearts.
I don't know if "most" is an adequate word, but you are correct in some cases!
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  #319  
Old 03-26-2009, 04:34 PM
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Re: Why would a Pastor do this to me ?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Steinway View Post
For the record, I once had a neighboring pastor complain about me teaching at a national conference. I was told that they believed the charges had no merit, but to be "safe" because of the complaint, they had to cancel my appearance.

I was so upset that I went to that pastor to ask him why he went to so much trouble to prevent me from teaching. He admitted that he had never heard a negative word about me, but I was merely guilty of association with my pastor!

What had my pastor done? I think he allowed some families that had left this pastor's church to attend our church. I guess the right thing to do would have been to refuse those families an Apostolic church and let them attend a Baptist church or something!
MrSteinway, honestly in my opinion, the right thing to do is contact your fellow pastor and find out what is going on. That is what we try to do and we have had situations where it was mutually agreed that being with us would be for the best. There may be some extreme circumstances where even without the pastor's blessing, the family needs to be assimilated, but I don't think it should ever be done without some communication.

That's just my opinion, but I have found that it creates for better relationships with other churches. It also creates an atmosphere where the people who transferred churches have been able to maintain the relationships in their old church that they cultivated over the years.
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  #320  
Old 03-26-2009, 04:34 PM
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Re: Why would a Pastor do this to me ?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Mr. Steinway View Post
I don't know if "most" is an adequate word, but you are correct in some cases!
For every 10 unconsecrated unethical Oneness Pastors, there are 1000 unconsecrated unethical church members.
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