Why would a Pastor do this to me ?

[Steve Epley]

Originally Posted by GraceAmazing

Great post! Loved the way you put the statement in bold! It is so true!

That is life some of us hurt folks unintentionallly and some folks are just mean and hurt folks on purpose. Some of us regret it and some rejoice in it.

[Margies3]

Originally Posted by Steve Epley

That is life some of us hurt folks unintentionallly and some folks are just mean and hurt folks on purpose. Some of us regret it and some rejoice in it.

That's so right. And the key to the whole thing, if you are the one who has been hurt, is to be able to discern whether the hurt was unintentional or whether it was plain old meanness.

My guess is that over 90% of the time it is unintentional. But IF IT IS meanness, then the thing to do is to walk away. You would be better to just walk away than to stay and continue to be abused and let yourself get bitter.

On the other hand, if it is unintentional, then you MUST go to the person who hurt you and talk it over. They can't grow if you don't share with them. And if you don't talk it over, you will hold it in and it will fester and fester and become an even bigger thing than it ever was to start with.

I know this sounds like a simplified version of how these things work. I know there are variables that can change things. But for the most part...............

God is not the author of confusion. Or of pain. Or of bitterness. When the story of my life is written, my hope is that it will read as if God was the author.

[GraceAmazing]

Originally Posted by Margies3

That's so right. And the key to the whole thing, if you are the one who has been hurt, is to be able to discern whether the hurt was unintentional or whether it was plain old meanness.

Absolutely the key...sometimes we have the tendency to read into what others are saying or doing and often times, WE are the ones who create the situation based on perceptions. And then again, there are the times when someone just does not realize what they just said or did or how that action was perceived. And believe it or not, (pretend shock here) there are some people who are just mean!

I have been hurt by mainly saints in my lifetime (I was a UPC PK)...You wouldn't believe the junk that I endured growing up and even into my adult years. However, I have had to learn that people are people and it's how YOU handle the situation that's important. And believe me, there have been times that I have bit back at people intentionally and unintentionally because of my hurt...that just creates a vicious cycle that never seems to end

If we lived our life for God based on what people did or did not do, well, we'd probably all be in a world of hurt!

[Margies3]

Originally Posted by GraceAmazing

Absolutely the key...sometimes we have the tendency to read into what others are saying or doing and often times, WE are the ones who create the situation based on perceptions. And then again, there are the times when someone just does not realize what they just said or did or how that action was perceived. And believe it or not, (pretend shock here) there are some people who are just mean!

I have been hurt by mainly saints in my lifetime (I was a UPC PK)...You wouldn't believe the junk that I endured growing up and even into my adult years. However, I have had to learn that people are people and it's how YOU handle the situation that's important. And believe me, there have been times that I have bit back at people intentionally and unintentionally because of my hurt...that just creates a vicious cycle that never seems to end

If we lived our life for God based on what people did or did not do, well, we'd probably all be in a world of hurt!

GraceAmazing, you are right. There are some people who are just mean. I read somewhere recently and then heard it again today somewhere else that most of the time when people lash out in meanness, it is actually because they are scared to death. Maybe they're scared you won't like them, so they'll just make it easy for you not to. Or maybe they're afraid for you to get close because they've had people who were close to them before who hurt them. Or........... there are all kinds of reasons for people to lash out in meanness to cover their fear.

But in the end, God is not going to ask us to give an account for anyone else's actions. Only our own. And only our own reactions to their actions.