A Question About Recovery

Digging4Truth · #1 08-28-2009, 10:04 AM

Miss B made the following statement in the thread about the girl being found that was kidnapped 18 years ago.

Quote:

I'm so happy she's been found--how great for the family. I imagine she has a long way to go to be normal, though.

My question is about the bolded portion of the statement.

Now... after going through an ordeal like this a person is far from normal. And normal, as Miss B said, will take a while to attain.

Because of their treatment there will be distrust, anger, resentment etc.

Because of their treatment there will be illogical attitudes and actions that will have to be worked through and much patience will need to be had while she works through the mental issues caused by the last 18 years of her life.

I believe that this is an expected outcome of what she has been through.

But what about people who have lived in an abusive home?

Why can't some people see that their "attitudes" and the things they do are somewhat tied to a bad home life and there is a need for patience and, just like the healing from a broken limb or a broken back, healing takes time, patience & counseling?

RandyWayne · #2 08-28-2009, 10:11 AM

This could get interesting.

I wonder if the anti-professional-councilor crowd will show up to explain that the only thing this girl needs is a few sessions with her pastor and a good praying through to make 18 years of captivity go away.

Digging4Truth · #3 08-28-2009, 10:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by RandyWayne

This could get interesting.

I wonder if the anti-professional-councilor crowd will show up to explain that the only thing this girl needs is a few sessions with her pastor and a good praying through to make 18 years of captivity go away.

The counseling I have in mind is not necessarily professional.

I feel that good Christian counsel is preferred to professional counsel. Today's professional counselors lean too heavily on pharmaceuticals for my taste.

But a caring individual that has the will to address the mis-wiring of the thought processes that is caused by living in a developmentally toxic environment coupled with building a relationship with the only one who can heal the mind can make changes.

But the problem there are not a lot of people who possess that expertise.

Scott Hutchinson · #4 08-28-2009, 10:12 AM

People who live in abusive enviroments are often deemed as rebellious,but since they have been abused it is hard for them to trust authority figures,like teachers,bosses and such,because they feel people in authority are out to get them,people reared in abusive enviroments don't know anything else.
In their way of thinking people use their authority to hurt them,like abusive parents do to helpless children.
It's hard for them to relate to loving authority who holds someones best interest at heart,they can't relate to that concept.

Thinking · #5 08-28-2009, 10:27 AM

It is likely she will never be "normal." Extremely sad.

coadie · #6 08-28-2009, 10:34 AM

Left school at age 11
No computor (probably a benefit)
No outside friends
Poor health
No job or employment skills.
Mental, sexual and physical abuse.
I suspect there is stunted or thwarted development here
She can live at home and start off in a safe environment.
Just safety alone is a strong factor.
She is actually in the same condition that people fresh out of jail face except for she has a place to live.

Elizabeth · #7 08-28-2009, 01:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by coadie

Left school at age 11
No computor (probably a benefit)
No outside friends
Poor health
No job or employment skills.
Mental, sexual and physical abuse.
I suspect there is stunted or thwarted development here
She can live at home and start off in a safe environment.
Just safety alone is a strong factor.
She is actually in the same condition that people fresh out of jail face except for she has a place to live.

Thank God she does have a place to live- but I suspect as you have stated she is probably stunted emotionally, and will probably need to live with a parent for long time. I think that would be the most healthy thing for her- help make up for all those lost years.

Cindy · #8 08-28-2009, 02:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Elizabeth

Thank God she does have a place to live- but I suspect as you have stated she is probably stunted emotionally, and will probably need to live with a parent for long time. I think that would be the most healthy thing for her- make up for all those lost years.

I don't think they can make up for the lost years. It is not only affecting the girl and her kids. But her mom and other family members will need help too. I just do not have the words to express how I feel about this situation. But I will be in prayer for everyone in this family.

Elizabeth · #9 08-28-2009, 02:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cindy

I don't think they can make up for the lost years. It is not only affecting the girl and her kids. But her mom and other family members will need help too. I just do not have the words to express how I feel about this situation. But I will be in prayer for everyone in this family.

Of course it could never ever make up for the lost years. But staying with a parent on her part I believe could be help in the recovery process. Of course the family will need help as well but they must feel tremendously relieved for the girl that thought they lost forever is now found- the healing process can begin.

Cindy · #10 08-28-2009, 03:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Elizabeth

Of course it could never ever make up for the lost years. But staying with a parent on her part I believe could be help in the recovery process. Of course the family will need help as well but they must feel tremendously relieved for the girl that thought they lost forever is now found- the healing process can begin.

Oh I agree, the girl and her children could not survive on their own. Her mom and other family members will probably have to finish raising them as well as starting to recover.