Pastor's Wives

[missourimary]

I've seen it in one (or maybe two) churches of four I was in. It really seems to depend (in my experience) on the church, the pastor's view of a woman's "place", and the woman's abilities and desire for position. Sometimes the pastor's wife takes these roles when the church is small and has just never let them go. Sometimes the saints look to her for leadership and she feels obligated. I'm sure there are other possibilities too. It isn't healthy, but I've never seen anyone change such a situation, either. I've never been in a church that truly had a supporting ministry team that was properly used. Everything was directed by the pastor.

[Sherri]

A church can never really grow very large if the pastor (and/or his wife) keep tight control of everything that goes on. You can only micro-manage so many people and then you're overwhelmed and growth has to stop. I think it's a matter of trust. If you trust your people, you will release control to them. I can't imagine having control over every department - who does what, when, etc. etc. etc. I would lose my mind!

[Margies3]

Originally Posted by missourimary

I've seen it in one (or maybe two) churches of four I was in. It really seems to depend (in my experience) on the church, the pastor's view of a woman's "place", and the woman's abilities and desire for position. Sometimes the pastor's wife takes these roles when the church is small and has just never let them go. Sometimes the saints look to her for leadership and she feels obligated. I'm sure there are other possibilities too. It isn't healthy, but I've never seen anyone change such a situation, either. I've never been in a church that truly had a supporting ministry team that was properly used. Everything was directed by the pastor.

Originally Posted by Sherri

A church can never really grow very large if the pastor (and/or his wife) keep tight control of everything that goes on. You can only micro-manage so many people and then you're overwhelmed and growth has to stop. I think it's a matter of trust. If you trust your people, you will release control to them. I can't imagine having control over every department - who does what, when, etc. etc. etc. I would lose my mind!

MM, I think that is incredibly sad. I don't believe for a minute that it healthy for a church to be like that. Why would a pastor put people in a position of leadership and then not trust them to lead? That makes absolutely NO sense to me.

Sherri, I like the way you folks do things. That is a sign of a healthy church. If the pastor has done his job the right way, and if the saints have been open to his leading, he should have been able to lead them into a place in their lives where they could be handed a position like that and trusted to run with it.

That does not mean that I don't believe that leaders should not be trained in how to be effective leaders. They SHOULD! But when they've gone thru the training, they need to be trusted.

When you raise your children, it is so that they will eventually grow up to be strong, healthy, mature adults and able to move on with their lives, doing the work that GOD has called them to. It's the same with saints. Sometimes pastors need to cut the apron strings, eh?

[snicker1986]

Originally Posted by missourimary

I've never been in a church that truly had a supporting ministry team that was properly used. Everything was directed by the pastor.

I know that "denominational" is considered a four letter word in pentecost, but my experience in these churches is that (whether or not you like their doctrine) their leadership model of a ministry team allows more outreach and growth.

It seems with the spirit that exists in a pentecostal church, it should be ready to explode with growth, but can only grow so far with one person in charge of everything. The pastor always has to be in charge, but I have been frustrated to see so many people not being used under him to work for the kingdom.

Thanks for all the input so far. It seems that what I have seen occurs other places but is not the "norm" in all pentecostal churches. Maybe there is hope...

[Elizabeth]

Originally Posted by snicker1986

I know that "denominational" is considered a four letter word in pentecost, but my experience in these churches is that (whether or not you like their doctrine) their leadership model of a ministry team allows more outreach and growth.

It seems with the spirit that exists in a pentecostal church, it should be ready to explode with growth, but can only grow so far with one person in charge of everything. The pastor always has to be in charge, but I have been frustrated to see so many people not being used under him to work for the kingdom.

Thanks for all the input so far. It seems that what I have seen occurs other places but is not the "norm" in all pentecostal churches. Maybe there is hope...

People need to speak up!

Can't they go to the pastor or pastor's wife- and say "I would like to do_____"

Being in a pastoral position, we do not know people have a desire to be used in a certain area until they ask or say something. Sometimes we get so busy that we do not even realize that someone wants to be in leadership. Assuming a pastor should just 'know' isn't always true.

They need to offer their assistance.

[rgcraig]

Originally Posted by Elizabeth

People need to speak up!

Can't they go to the pastor or pastor's wife- and say "I would like to do_____"

Being in a pastoral position, we do not know people have a desire to be used in a certain area until they ask or say something. Sometimes we get so busy that we do not even realize that someone wants to be in leadership. Assuming a pastor should just 'know' isn't always true.

They need to offer their assistance.

Easier said than done. When it's a known fact that the pastor's wife has that much control they know in advance what the reaction/answer will be if they speak up.

It's really sad that they are unable to "let go" and trust people in their church!