Pastor's Wives

[Sherri]

A church can never really grow very large if the pastor (and/or his wife) keep tight control of everything that goes on. You can only micro-manage so many people and then you're overwhelmed and growth has to stop. I think it's a matter of trust. If you trust your people, you will release control to them. I can't imagine having control over every department - who does what, when, etc. etc. etc. I would lose my mind!

[Margies3]

Originally Posted by missourimary

I've seen it in one (or maybe two) churches of four I was in. It really seems to depend (in my experience) on the church, the pastor's view of a woman's "place", and the woman's abilities and desire for position. Sometimes the pastor's wife takes these roles when the church is small and has just never let them go. Sometimes the saints look to her for leadership and she feels obligated. I'm sure there are other possibilities too. It isn't healthy, but I've never seen anyone change such a situation, either. I've never been in a church that truly had a supporting ministry team that was properly used. Everything was directed by the pastor.

Originally Posted by Sherri

A church can never really grow very large if the pastor (and/or his wife) keep tight control of everything that goes on. You can only micro-manage so many people and then you're overwhelmed and growth has to stop. I think it's a matter of trust. If you trust your people, you will release control to them. I can't imagine having control over every department - who does what, when, etc. etc. etc. I would lose my mind!

MM, I think that is incredibly sad. I don't believe for a minute that it healthy for a church to be like that. Why would a pastor put people in a position of leadership and then not trust them to lead? That makes absolutely NO sense to me.

Sherri, I like the way you folks do things. That is a sign of a healthy church. If the pastor has done his job the right way, and if the saints have been open to his leading, he should have been able to lead them into a place in their lives where they could be handed a position like that and trusted to run with it.

That does not mean that I don't believe that leaders should not be trained in how to be effective leaders. They SHOULD! But when they've gone thru the training, they need to be trusted.

When you raise your children, it is so that they will eventually grow up to be strong, healthy, mature adults and able to move on with their lives, doing the work that GOD has called them to. It's the same with saints. Sometimes pastors need to cut the apron strings, eh?