My problem with Ferd, though, and people like him is, he seems to view ANYTHING oppositional as an "incessant rant." I don't believe that's fair. We're here to discuss things. This is a marketplace of ideas, a culture of dialogue, and for some, it's a place of needed healing or finding a reason for the pain they feel. It's a real world whether or not Ferd wants to acknowledge it or learn about it.
My problem with Ferd, though, and people like him is, he seems to view ANYTHING oppositional as an "incessant rant." I don't believe that's fair. We're here to discuss things. This is a marketplace of ideas, a culture of dialogue, and for some, it's a place of needed healing or finding a reason for the pain they feel. It's a real world whether or not Ferd wants to acknowledge it or learn about it.
There are some who view any opposition as an "incessant rant". That is true. It's those folks, who whine against whiners that I'm whining about!! LOL! I'm not whining about the whining. I'm whining about the hypocrisy. As for Ferd, I will let him speak for himself!
__________________
Those who say it cannot be done should not interrupt the people doing it. ~Chinese Proverb
When I was young and clever, I wanted to change the world. Now that I am older and wiser, I strive to change myself. ~
There are some who view any opposition as an "incessant rant". That is true. It's those folks, who whine against whiners that I'm whining about!! LOL! I'm not whining about the whining. I'm whining about the hypocrisy. As for Ferd, I will let him speak for himself!
JMO and general observation, but the whiners/incessant ranters usually come across as more caustic in their posts than the ones whining against the whiners/ranters.
JMO and general observation, but the whiners/incessant ranters usually come across as more caustic in their posts than the ones whining against the whiners/ranters.
I think if you look from the left, the right looks tilted and vice versa. I've been on both sides and argued both sides and felt the same way from both sides. Actually, it was when I realized that that I realized I needed to take a look at myself and how I was communicating. It wasn't productive.
__________________
Those who say it cannot be done should not interrupt the people doing it. ~Chinese Proverb
When I was young and clever, I wanted to change the world. Now that I am older and wiser, I strive to change myself. ~
I think if you look from the left, the right looks tilted and vice versa. I've been on both sides and argued both sides and felt the same way from both sides. Actually, it was when I realized that that I realized I needed to take a look at myself and how I was communicating. It wasn't productive.
I think that people, of course, act off of their personalities. I'm very independent in my thinking and I don't normally go to anyone for help. I've been in church for 25 years and I have rarely ever gone to a pastor to discuss anything personal. I remember a new pastor we had that asked me something personal, point blank, and I just sat and stared at him. I learned in sales that the first person to talk is the loser. LOL! Signed a lot of contracts just sitting and waiting. LOL!
So, for me, to keep talking about the same hurts and issues at any length would make me feel ridiculous and more than that, that I had no faith and hope in God.
I would like to say that when I have read your posts, I've always been interested to try and understand your point of view and where you were coming from. I think at the beginning, and being honest, because you know it (LOL), I didn't. I then began to realize that I really needed to put in some effort to understand and listen. It's easier to get along that way, ya think?. LOL!
I think that people, of course, act off of their personalities. I'm very independent in my thinking and I don't normally go to anyone for help. I've been in church for 25 years and I have rarely ever gone to a pastor to discuss anything personal. I remember a new pastor we had that asked me something personal, point blank, and I just sat and stared at him. I learned in sales that the first person to talk is the loser. LOL! Signed a lot of contracts just sitting and waiting. LOL!
So, for me, to keep talking about the same hurts and issues at any length would make me feel ridiculous and more than that, that I had no faith and hope in God.
I would like to say that when I have read your posts, I've always been interested to try and understand your point of view and where you were coming from. I think at the beginning, and being honest, because you know it (LOL), I didn't. I then began to realize that I really needed to put in some effort to understand and listen. It's easier to get along that way, ya think?. LOL!
Sure is. People also don't listen when you have a lot of pain, which sometimes does come off as whining. When you sound whiny it makes people shut off....which causes a vicious cycle because then the pain gets worse. It is really easier to heal away from those who misunderstand where you are coming from.
I do remember tussling with you, but I also remember you coming back and saying you were sorry and that you were going to try to listen. I also left the board largely for a while which helped me free my mind up and gave me some room to heal.
Those who go on and on....well, give them some time. They'll probably figure it out eventually. Those who are still in the UPC, if you all are happy there, the best thing you can do is give a patient ear. It proves there are caring people in the UPC.
__________________
Those who say it cannot be done should not interrupt the people doing it. ~Chinese Proverb
When I was young and clever, I wanted to change the world. Now that I am older and wiser, I strive to change myself. ~
Sure is. People also don't listen when you have a lot of pain, which sometimes does come off as whining. When you sound whiny it makes people shut off....which causes a vicious cycle because then the pain gets worse. It is really easier to heal away from those who misunderstand where you are coming from.
Yes, I do see that. And I am very bad about it, because I can't lay down for long. Even when my husband is ill, I make him get off the bed so I can change the sheets. I hate sickness! I know I do need to work on being patient with those that are seemingly whining. Not everyone reacts the way I do and I need to understand that.
A good friend taught me a lesson when she shared about going to counseling. She said that there is a part of you that wants to go back to the "comfort zone" because it's easier to stay where you are. She said it takes real work to be healed and you have to want to do it. You could be counseled for a long time and never get better/healed, if you are not trying and don't really want to help yourself.
Quote:
I do remember tussling with you, but I also remember you coming back and saying you were sorry and that you were going to try to listen. I also left the board largely for a while which helped me free my mind up and gave me some room to heal.
Sometimes I have to stop reading here as well. For that matter, I have to stop reading so much of the news, which is something I love to do. I can actually feel myself relax when I sit down and hit my favorite news sources. That is just sick! LOL!
Quote:
Those who go on and on....well, give them some time. They'll probably figure it out eventually. Those who are still in the UPC, if you all are happy there, the best thing you can do is give a patient ear. It proves there are caring people in the UPC.
I started out with some negative posting when I began with FCF. We were going through a really hard time in our lives. After I posted a while, it was mainly at NFCF, I began to realize that where I am is where I want to be. On AFF, I am sure of it. So, it hasn't been all that bad. Although, honestly, I think I am less trusting than I was in the past.
My problem with Ferd, though, and people like him is, he seems to view ANYTHING oppositional as an "incessant rant." I don't believe that's fair. We're here to discuss things. This is a marketplace of ideas, a culture of dialogue, and for some, it's a place of needed healing or finding a reason for the pain they feel. It's a real world whether or not Ferd wants to acknowledge it or learn about it.
Your problem with Ferd is he won’t feed your addiction to your misery. Those that want healing find it. Others just keep tilting at windmills. That is your issue.
When my son tells me I am not being fair, I tell him: "if life was a fair you would be a bearded lady!" Get over it. Life isn’t fair.
I mean someone has to tell you whiners to get over it or all you will do is sit here and commiserate.
You may consider me the heavy hand of sympathy.
__________________ If I do something stupid blame the Lortab!
Your problem with Ferd is he won’t feed your addiction to your misery. Those that want healing find it. Others just keep tilting at windmills. That is your issue.
.
You used to tell me that too though, Ferd, when I was trying to heal. Now, I'm pretty much over it.
__________________
Those who say it cannot be done should not interrupt the people doing it. ~Chinese Proverb
When I was young and clever, I wanted to change the world. Now that I am older and wiser, I strive to change myself. ~
I also left the board largely for a while which helped me free my mind up and gave me some room to heal.
Hybrid Mode
