Worst Sermons In History

[Sam]

Originally Posted by notofworks

Nomination #1...When I was in Bible School, a student preached in chapel about the five smooth stones that David gathered for his fight with Goliath and said they represented the letters, "J-E-S-U-S". The "J" stood for God's judgment, the "E" for God's everlasting arms (or something like that), and so on.

When he said what he was going to preach, Bro. Segraves laughed with his bog ole laugh, thinking the guy was joking. Unfortunately, he was serious.


Nomination #2.....An evangelist spoke about the process that Peter writes about, "add to your faith virtue; and to virtue knowledge; And to knowledge temperance;" etc.

He then read the verse, "The first shall be last and the last shall be first" and used that to say the list in II Peter should actually be followed backwards.

How many times have you heard that David chose 5 stones to represent the 5 letters in the name of Jesus?
or how many times have you heard that David chose 5 stones because he heard that Goliath had 4 brothers?

I can't tell you exactly how many but I've heard both of those several times (maybe half a dozen each) over the years.

[Sam]

Originally Posted by JTULLOCK

Yes. This is far too common I feel. I have heard a famous preacher, not LS, preach the same message 5 times.

Over a period of time did you ever hear the same singer sing the same song more than once?

[Sam]

I remember a local pastor here trying to exhort the congregation to stronger worship.

He said the Bible says, "Leap for joy, so if you want joy, you gotta leap for it."

He then had us all leap up and down.
Some got happy but most just quit jumping and looked around a little ashamed.

[Sam]

A little over 30 years ago in an Apostolic Church in his Sunday night sermon our ALJC pastor said, "The Bible says that a man is supposed to be clean shaven." I spoke out and said, "I'd like to see where that's in the Bible." My wife grabbed my arm and gave me "that look." Husbands and children know what "that look" is that can be given by wives and mothers. Either the pastor did not hear me or he chose to ignore me because he did not stop the sermon or respond to me in any way. That night when we left after service we did not go back. That was my last night sitting in an Apostolic Church as a member and listening to an Apostolic pastor.

[pelathais]

Originally Posted by ReformedDave

I've heard several sermons using the KJV text (Acts 26 I believe) where Paul says " I think myself happy" and use it to mean that we're to have a positive attitude. Drives me absolutely nuts hearing such poor interpretation.

The archaic language of the KJV is responsible for many errors in preaching.

[MissBrattified]

Originally Posted by notofworks

Nomination #1...When I was in Bible School, a student preached in chapel about the five smooth stones that David gathered for his fight with Goliath and said they represented the letters, "J-E-S-U-S". The "J" stood for God's judgment, the "E" for God's everlasting arms (or something like that), and so on.

When he said what he was going to preach, Bro. Segraves laughed with his bog ole laugh, thinking the guy was joking. Unfortunately, he was serious.


Nomination #2.....An evangelist spoke about the process that Peter writes about, "add to your faith virtue; and to virtue knowledge; And to knowledge temperance;" etc.

He then read the verse, "The first shall be last and the last shall be first" and used that to say the list in II Peter should actually be followed backwards.

BUAHAHAHAAHAHA!!! Nomination #2 should have been #1...no, really!! That's hilarious!

[RandyWayne]

I am not thinking of a specific sermon so much as a type. A type where someone of some reputation gets up and proceeds to shout the most random series of catch phrases and "amen" producing versus ("I was GLAD when they said onto ME, let us GO into the house of the Lord!") and after an hour or so of shouting and "Ha ha haaaaa!"ing, he has said absolutely nothing.

[OneAccord]

I heard a preacher once in Tennssee preaching on "Holiness in the Home". His entire sermon was a virtual laundry list of things we should not allow in our homes that would drive "holiness" away. Of course, as any good Apostolc knows, TV was at the top of the list. (Had computers been around then, I'm sure the internet would have been included).

He also included radio, recorded gospel music (except those of believers of "The Message" -he was a big William Branham follower.) Recorded sermons by any one other than WB were listed. Books were forbidden (except WBs). Little "what-nots", you know, those little dust collecting "idols' scattered around the house, were listed. As was photographs of dead folks (WB was excepted). I endured all I could, but what really drove me over the edge was when he spoke about ther greatest evil Holiness folks let into their homes that they never think about. According to him, allowing this into your home was the same as allowing pornography into your home. He said it destroys more homes than TV ever did. He said it teaches women how to be Jezebels, encourages kids to become rebellious, and drives men to have affairs with many women (his words, not mine). He said it makes nudity acceptable, and leads to lust, Lust and more LUST. And, of course LUST, brings forth death. So allowing this great evil into your home is inviting DEATH to enter.

This great evil?




The Sears and Roebuck catalog. I kid you not.

[ReformedDave]

Originally Posted by pelathais

The archaic language of the KJV is responsible for many errors in preaching.

I actually don't have as much a problem with the language of the KJV as I do with the lack of proper study of some of those preaching from it!

[coadie]

Originally Posted by pelathais

The archaic language of the KJV is responsible for many errors in preaching.

The greek and Hebrew are much more archaic. Using the Darwinist movement to "interpret" Genesis is one style of forcing error onto the written Word. Those sermons that begin "once upon a time worms came from the Nile"........

The Reformed Darwin Version RDV is not catching on for some reason.