Housemate Question

Jermyn Davidson · #1 08-29-2010, 03:06 PM

I am in a rent-to-own situation here in the Sunshine State for the home I am living in for the next 2 years. So the house is mine for now.

As it is my house, I want to have roommates. In fact, it would be very wise for me to have housemates.

So, one of the guys that really wants to move in is single, straight and not in a relationship with anyone right now. However, in the future, he will be and wants to have the liberty to "spend the night with her" in our place, when the time comes.

I am having a hard time with this. He's a grown man like me and so I COMPLETELY understand.

On one hand if he is paying rent and is otherwise respectful of his housemates and the house, there should not be a problem. In fact, he should feel the liberty to do what he wants, to an extent.

On the other hand, it's my house. My housemates are not saved, but I am. I can only live my life for me, but what about stuff that they do or don't do that is sinful... am I responsible for that?

If I allow it to happen (as in tell him when the time comes, it's ok just as long as she doesn't start living with you), am I codifying or in agreement with his sin?

If the answer is yes, would the only solution to get around situations like be to not have housemates at all-- or maybe only saved housemates?

Praxeas · #2 08-29-2010, 03:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jermyn Davidson

I am in a rent-to-own situation here in the Sunshine State for the home I am living in for the next 2 years. So the house is mine for now.

As it is my house, I want to have roommates. In fact, it would be very wise for me to have housemates.

So, one of the guys that really wants to move in is single, straight and not in a relationship with anyone right now. However, in the future, he will be and wants to have the liberty to "spend the night with her" in our place, when the time comes.

I am having a hard time with this. He's a grown man like me and so I COMPLETELY understand.

On one hand if he is paying rent and is otherwise respectful of his housemates and the house, there should not be a problem. In fact, he should feel the liberty to do what he wants, to an extent.

On the other hand, it's my house. My housemates are not saved, but I am. I can only live my life for me, but what about stuff that they do or don't do that is sinful... am I responsible for that?

If I allow it to happen (as in tell him when the time comes, it's ok just as long as she doesn't start living with you), am I codifying or in agreement with his sin?

If the answer is yes, would the only solution to get around situations like be to not have housemates at all-- or maybe only saved housemates?

Problem is you don't just have to deal with him but his girlfriend now. Is she gonna stay the night? Go home in the morning? Is she gonna shower and hang around and use your utilities?

As this progresses, if it does, you'll probably start to get peeved that she is here every weekend like she lives there.

Aside from other issues like noise "ahem", she might actually be pleasant to have around and maybe she cleans! who knows. But I know from experience that once it starts the convenience can become too convenient with her staying a day or more...rent free

Jermyn Davidson · #3 08-29-2010, 03:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Praxeas

Problem is you don't just have to deal with him but his girlfriend now. Is she gonna stay the night? Go home in the morning? Is she gonna shower and hang around and use your utilities?

As this progresses, if it does, you'll probably start to get peeved that she is here every weekend like she lives there.

Aside from other issues like noise "ahem", she might actually be pleasant to have around and maybe she cleans! who knows. But I know from experience that once it starts the convenience can become too convenient with her staying a day or more...rent free

Well I am not concerned about that as much as what they may be doing.

I don't want to be connected to their sin, held accountable for their sin. I mean, am I making any sense at all in thinking that if they sin under my roof with my full knowledge that it will happen eventually, ahead of time, should I do something to not let it happen?

Or is his life his life and what he does have no bearing on my own life?

Praxeas · #4 08-29-2010, 03:52 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jermyn Davidson

Well I am not concerned about that as much as what they may be doing.

I don't want to be connected to their sin, held accountable for their sin. I mean, am I making any sense at all in thinking that if they sin under my roof with my full knowledge that it will happen eventually, ahead of time, should I do something to not let it happen?

Or is his life his life and what he does have no bearing on my own life?

Then you need to find someone that agrees with you, a Christian, and make him sign an agreement

Jermyn Davidson · #5 08-29-2010, 03:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Praxeas

Then you need to find someone that agrees with you, a Christian, and make him sign an agreement

IMPOSSIBLE!

Apparently Christians don't need a place to live in Orlando.

I've already marketed for Christian roommates. No takers.

If I let this guy move in, knowing that eventually he will sin, willfully, probably repeatedly, I am helping him to sin, aren't I?

Praxeas · #6 08-29-2010, 03:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Jermyn Davidson

IMPOSSIBLE!

Apparently Christians don't need a place to live in Orlando.

I've already marketed for Christian roommates. No takers.

If I let this guy move in, knowing that eventually he will sin, willfully, probably repeatedly, I am helping him to sin, aren't I?

As I was saying and CC pointed out, there are other reasons for not allowing sleep over guests

BTW did you also advertise for muslims or Jews? What about mormons?

CC1 · #7 08-29-2010, 03:54 PM

Like Prax I think the situation can be looked at as completely seperate from the morality of it.

If you are the one who is responsible for the home and are the one renting the rooms then you set the rules. It is very reasonable that one of them be no overnight guests.

Rose · #8 08-29-2010, 03:57 PM

Years ago one of my sons was living with his girlfriend in another state. My other son was getting married and asked his brother to be his best man. When my son came home with his girlfriend, I put them in separate rooms. How could I be a testimony to this girl and still allow their 'sin' to be practiced in my home? They both respected my wishes.

DAII · #9 08-29-2010, 04:19 PM

Jermyn, I'd be careful how I approach this from a legal point of view. Framing it correctly is important.

Property owners and managers are subject to the federal Fair Housing Act, which prohibits "any preference, limitation, or discrimination because of race, color, religion, sex, handicap, familial status, or national origin, or intention to make such preference, limitation or discrimination."

Ultimately you will decide who to rent to ... but you may want to start with a credit check.

Jermyn Davidson · #10 08-29-2010, 04:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DAII

Jermyn, I'd be careful how I approach this from a legal point of view. Framing it correctly is important.

Property owners and managers are subject to the federal Fair Housing Act, which prohibits "any preference, limitation, or discrimination because of race, color, religion, sex, handicap, familial status, or national origin, or intention to make such preference, limitation or discrimination."

Ultimately you will decide who to rent to ... but you may want to start with a credit check.

Thanks Dan.

I KNOW I have said on my advertisements in the past, "ALL ARE WELCOME".

All are, if they can live by the house rules.