I'm leaving my church. Please pray.

[Aquila]

Originally Posted by Real Realism

Wow. This hits so close to home, it's almost like looking in a mirror.

Months back, we had a "special service" announced just days beforehand...when our family had already made plans months ago to another (non-church) commitment. And then comments are made over the platform that if you "don't change your plans to attend this special service" (that we just announced, three days in advance) "you must not love children." What message is that sending to my children to raise them in this type of atmosphere where comments like undermine the spiritual authority we should have in our home? Not wanting to hi-jak this thread, but I just had to point out that it's a common theme, and others are struggling with very similar issues and decisions.

That's so sad. When I hear that kind of thing I immediately realize that the man lacks the ability to speak before people properly.

I think that too many pastors resort to "shock jock" commentary and preaching. Oh, they sound "tough" and "in charge"... but the reality is... they are being crass and tactless. Maybe the orgs should require "sensitivity training", because this is a form of spiritual abuse and I don't think that pastors that do this are aware of it. What the pastor should have said is something more like...

"I think this special service is going to be life changing. I know we all sincerely love our children. And so, I feel in my spirit that you should make every effort possible to attend, even if it means that you might have to change a few plans. I assure you that you'll be blessed. If you can't make it, we're gonna miss ya. But be sure to pick up a tape or CD of the message as soon as you can. I'll talk to the sound people and see if we can give this message to parents for free. Please, only one tape or CD per family. Okay... let's get down to tonight's business... Turn with me to..."

But few men have that kind of gift when it comes to public address. Most just growl an admonition accompanied with a warning.

[Pressing-On]

Originally Posted by The Lemon

In spite of what I may disagree with, I believe the message and choose to stay. If he comes to me and becomes unreasonable and chooses to handle things in a demanding and controlling way and takes a hard fast stand - well then I will have to do more seeking and praying for the next decision - until then, I will do what I can to live peaceably in my current situation.

This, because you are saying that the most important thing to you is God's will for you and your family. That is something I can respect.

We've been in some really tough spots, like the OP, but we never made a decision without taking it to God first. We taught our children to "see it through" if God doesn't release you.

Ironically, many times we had to stay put and "see it through", but we were always delivered in the end. We moved or the leadership moved.

We are in a tight spot now, but we feel we need to stay. I know from experience that when you can't take anymore, you can. And you only find out after the battle is over that He never did put more on you than you can bear.

We hear it said - more than some and fewer that others - when it is yours, it is always more than some.

In good or bad circumstances we are adding to our faith virtue; and to virtue knowledge; and to knowledge temperance; and to temperance patience; and to patience godliness; And to godliness brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness charity.

2 Corinthians 1:3 Blessed be God, even the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies, and the God of all comfort; Who comforteth us in all our tribulation, that we may be able to comfort them which are in any trouble, by the comfort wherewith we ourselves are comforted of God.


I'm sure Originalist will follow God's lead and make the right choice.

Afterall, anyone going to Mexico has GOT to be listening to God to make that type of venture. lol

[Pressing-On]

Originally Posted by Pressing-On

We are in a tight spot now, but we feel we need to stay. I know from experience that when you can't take anymore, you can. And you only find out after the battle is over that He never did put more on you than you can bear.

WOOT! Thank you, Jesus - Today I have been delivered!!!!!!

That's all I am sharing. I am one HAPPY, HAPPY woman!!!

[mizpeh]

Originally Posted by Pressing-On

WOOT! Thank you, Jesus - Today I have been delivered!!!!!!

That's all I am sharing. I am one HAPPY, HAPPY woman!!!

[RandyWayne]

Originally Posted by Pressing-On

WOOT! Thank you, Jesus - Today I have been delivered!!!!!!

That's all I am sharing. I am one HAPPY, HAPPY woman!!!

Tell me! What gun did you just pick up??

[Pressing-On]

Originally Posted by mizpeh

Originally Posted by RandyWayne

Tell me! What gun did you just pick up??

Mosin-Nagant

[KeptByTheWord]

Originally Posted by Pressing-On

WOOT! Thank you, Jesus - Today I have been delivered!!!!!!

That's all I am sharing. I am one HAPPY, HAPPY woman!!!

Oh no you can't! Do tell! ....

just kidding... whatever it is you're shouting about, I'm happy you're a happy woman!

[n david]

I agree you should meet and talk with your Pastor. From personal experience, I would recommend NOT meeting the Pastor in his office at the church. Meet in a public or semi-public setting. The reason why is because I would also recommend either using a phone app or digital recorder to record the conversation. Florida law requires both parties consent to audio recording; however, there is an exception. If you both are in an area with no reasonable expectation of privacy (ie someone could overhear the conversation), you may record without consent.

If you do not want to go that route, I would then suggest taking someone with you - someone who you aren't necessarily close with and who could be a good witness.

If things are as bad as written, you will need some kind of witness in case things go badly during the meeting, or he tries to blacklist you.

[Real Realism]

I know I'm an outsider here...

But regardless of whether or not the pastor was subtly referring to your situation in his comments, I think it's clear that his assertion that "those who go through financial troubles must not be paying tithes or giving enough" is an insult to your faithfulness. At worst, his comments are unBiblical. At best, he just wasn't thinking through it thoroughly and his comments are careless and insensitive.

It rains on the just and unjust. I don't know why these situations have piled on you over the years - and I'm sure "why" is a question you've asked more times than you can count. But through this, understand that God's faithfulness and mercy is not dependent on how great our external blessings may appear. And your relationship with Him is not dependent on what a misguided man interprets as His will. Saying a prayer for you now that God will lead you into the path where your family will find peace and a deeper relationship with Him, despite (or maybe even through) everything that has happened.

[The Lemon]

Real,

I understand...trust me! I have made my mind up that as long as my morals, integrity, and character are in tact, and that I am in the Word and prayer about myself and home that I will be silent and confident about the direction I take my family.

I will only engage if I am engaged. Believe me, there is a part of me that would love to be vocal, but knowing that I would be in the wrong spirit and attitude prevents me from doing such.

I am DONE with performanced based religion and relationships in Church. If I am good enough, I am fellowshipped, if not ignored - so ignorant.

It does hurt knowing I bring alot to the table but am uninvited to dinner! I can live with it, knowing that my family means more to me then the structure - I can play unto the Lord in my home - I don't have to have a platform to do so.

In my mind - if you or I is weak - or even percieved to be weak - fine - lift one another up - bear one anothers burden - this kick them when they are down is NOT spiritual and in fact is carnal.

One quote that I have written down at my desk at work is: "If you can't teach the why, then don't preach the do"

it reminds me that I am not as smart and versed as I sometimes think I am - it also reminds me that many people who have influence in my life may also not be as smart as I think they are..