Husband leaving the church. Very sad n stressed

[Esphes45]

Originally Posted by Free 2b Me!

Im trying to be encouraging but I really don't know what to say to him.. Even though I agree with him i wouldn't tell him this bc that will surely make him leave. i see where he's coming from though ..sadly

I think you are doing more harm than good by not being honest to your husband about your feelings. Remember you are one.

[good samaritan]

Originally Posted by Esphes45

I think you are doing more harm than good by not being honest to your husband about your feelings. Remember you are one.

I don't think that she is being wrong in this. If you have a negative thought I guess you tell your spouse all about it. That sounds like a recipe for disaster. She should be honest and encourage her husband, but surely she can use discretion and not feed his fire. Prayer, faithfulness, and patience is key in all this.

[Esphes45]

Originally Posted by good samaritan

I don't think that she is being wrong in this. If you have a negative thought I guess you tell your spouse all about it. That sounds like a recipe for disaster. She should be honest and encourage her husband, but surely she can use discretion and not feed his fire. Prayer, faithfulness, and patience is key in all this.

@GS - Since I am currently going through a similar situation with my wife, I think being honest about her feelings would at least help him know that he is not totally crazy about his thoughts. She is his helpmate, they are one. She can pray but being deceitful is not being honest. Trying to encourage someone when you have negative thoughts is not being truthful.

Also faithfulness to God is not the same as faithfulness to a church. Her husband comes before a church.

[Originalist]

Originally Posted by Esphes45

@GS - Since I am currently going through a similar situation with my wife, I think being honest about her feelings would at least help him know that he is not totally crazy about his thoughts. She is his helpmate, they are one. She can pray but being deceitful is not being honest. Trying to encourage someone when you have negative thoughts is not being truthful.

Also faithfulness to God is not the same as faithfulness to a church. Her husband comes before a church.

Amen. This couple can still have a powerful walk with God and ministry outside of the institutionalized church. I hope they discipline themselves to have church at home. But of course there will be those who will tell them they are now under the condemnation of the Almighty for "rebelling against the man of God" and such nonsense.

Sadly there are also many pastors who would basically tell this woman she has to now choose between her husband and God and that if he does not repent she should allow the marraige to basically go.

[good samaritan]

Originally Posted by Esphes45

@GS - Since I am currently going through a similar situation with my wife, I think being honest about her feelings would at least help him know that he is not totally crazy about his thoughts. She is his helpmate, they are one. She can pray but being deceitful is not being honest. Trying to encourage someone when you have negative thoughts is not being truthful.

Also faithfulness to God is not the same as faithfulness to a church. Her husband comes before a church.

Negativism breeds more negativism. Maybe we are meaning two different things, but sitting down reflecting how bad people and things are will not help anyone. For example:

If my wife has a continual problem with a lady and it has become a spiritual battle for her, and that lady does something I see bad then it is probably not wisdom to go home and stir up the bitterness by telling all that I have seen.

I am not meaning they shouldn't sit down and have a honest family discussion with a solution. Nor did I mean for her to make him think he was crazy and act oblivious to things that she knows are real. For her to agree with someone who appears to have a wrong attitude is probably counterproductive. If I am mad at the world I don't need sympathy. I need God's deliverance of the attitude and a solution.

[KeptByTheWord]

I will be praying for you in this situation!

It is easy to shell out advice on a forum such as this, but honestly... even with everyone's best intentions, the best advice I think there is to give, is to seek the Lord for direction. After all, if you are filled with the Spirit, then you should be led of the Spirit, and the Spirit is mightily capable of giving you the exact direction and focus you need for this situation.

Certainly you will be in my prayers that the Lord will give you focus, direction, and peace to handle this situation the best way possible

[Abiding Now]

Jer. 29:13 And ye shall seek me, and find me, when ye shall search for me with all your heart

[commonsense]

In retail there are lots of complaints from customers and supposedly only 10% of the disgruntled actually send the letter or place the call.''

Now to the subject at hand. This is not a unique situation in the church world. I know of several families with similar dilemmas.
Blame it on the world or domineering pastors or sin but it's still a very real issue.

Where do you go? Do you settle? Many questions ........Lots of good answers given but this isn't an isolated family. We do need solutions.

While the individual is in charge of their soul_________ there is responsibility upon the church/pastor to be sensitive to the needs in the congregation. No one wants to be ignored or brushed off as unworthy or unnecessary.

[Abiding Now]

Not everything is as it appears. I just imagine if the pastor or some of the church folks logged on AFF, there would probably be a much different story.

[good samaritan]

About 15 years ago I would have been classified as an alcoholic. I laid outside of the trailer where I lived on the ground one night and prayed to God to let me die. I was so unfulfilled with life I had began to have suicidal thoughts. I mutilated my own body by burning my arms with cigarettes and other things while in a drunken stupor. I honestly don't believe I would be alive today if it wasn't for God grace. The Sunday I received the Holy Ghost has forever changed my life. After that day I had a strong desire to be in the house of God. Yes I do get a emotional high from it, but it is far more than emotion. I didn't have a preacher tell me that I must be faithful, but instead it was in my heart to be in His presence. I have enjoyment in personal devotion, but it is not the same as it is when the body assembles. I am saddened by what church means to some on here. As a new babe in the Lord I drug my parents all over a thirty mile radius to every apostolic service available. I even met my wife of now 11 years from a church service. Sure I agree, it is not always perfect, but it is our own outlook that most of the time destroys our experience with it. If I attend church with the mindset that church is just another thing that I have to do then I rob myself of the purpose. In the last six months I have had to remind myself of what I am doing it all for. I understand how people become complacent and lose the meaning of it all, but we don't have to. Here recently I cannot begin to explain all that God has done. We have seen people healed, my nine year old Son last Sunday received the Holy Ghost, and we have seen so many things in the last couple of weeks. I have gotten to the place I am anticipating every service to see what is next. This is not a ritual with me, but instead, church assembly is exciting. If church is some dead ritualistic practice it is because that is what you have made it. If people would come together with faith and expectation of a true experience with God every time they gather I think we would turn our communities upside down. I pray that the church would have revival and I don't mean the buildings I mean every body of believers. We are the Church so lets get united and quit squabbling and seek God together.