Quote:
Originally Posted by Thad
your post offers a lot of hope and encouragement. I don't think it was a good idea to reveal that it was your father though
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With all due respect, Thad, it is not your choice to make nor your place to judge.
The people with whom my mother and I associate and love found out years ago and it makes no difference to them about how they feel about my mother or my family - in fact, it eased many burdens for her.
My father certainly became more than happy to tell once he "found his freedom."
I've been where this family is. My mother has been where this family is. I KNOW what it's like to wonder, as one of the "children" if I'm going to be gay because he is or if I caused it and 100 other emotions and worries that you don't have a clue about, but these children will experience. I know what it's like to have serious issues in trying to trust enough to form a marital relationship because he/she might be gay. Fortunately, for these children, there is less stigma attached to them than there was when my father revealed all.
My mother knows what it is like to have the whispers and the gossip and the looks of pity and the stupid comments like if she had been a better wife, maybe she could have "cured" him. We know what it's like to doubt, to not feel like you will ever trust again, to feel betrayed, used, to feel stupid, to doubt EVERY encounter you ever had with him...
What I want this family to know, from a place of first-hand experience, is that the sun eventually shines again, it does make you stronger, you do laugh about some of this one day, and it is possible for their daughter to find a joyous marital relationship, and for the children to reach a place where they can find peace.
If it helps this family, then why should I be afraid to say it was my father. Maybe we went through it so we can help others who are in this very, very dark and troubled space.
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