Pregnant at 16 by her pastor!

Why on God's green earth does a thread like this become so popular? For goodness sakes the foundation of the whole thread is based on DEAR ABBY! Believe me I know first hand that his could be a very real problem but why dwell on it!
I for one got a lot more enjoyment out of this forum a few weeks ago when there were several threads going about the goodness of God!
Do I want to bury my head in the sand and pretend the rest does not go on.....NO! If it happens on my turf I will deal with it and move on. But, why should stuff like this get press? and among so called church people. This world much was much better off before people got the notion that EVERYTHING has to be talked about!
The Bible gives us instruction on how to deal with people in these instances and nowhere did it say to all talk about it at length on the phone or in forums.
I will admit there are even situations where a person has to sit tight and wait for God to reveal what to do...been there too. But to have everything all out in the open for everyone to discuss is a sin in itself. No one here knows the details of this situation if it did happen. Dear Abbey could have put it in there for entertainment.....she probably knows as well that stuff like this gets good press.
No wonder this forum has had a bad name at times of being like national gossip papers.

I will state one scripture reference....if you don't know what it says go look it up, it would do you good to read some Bible today! Phil 4:8

[dizzyde]

Originally Posted by MrsBOOMM

Why on God's green earth does a thread like this become so popular? For goodness sakes the foundation of the whole thread is based on DEAR ABBY! Believe me I know first hand that his could be a very real problem but why dwell on it!
I for one got a lot more enjoyment out of this forum a few weeks ago when there were several threads going about the goodness of God!
Do I want to bury my head in the sand and pretend the rest does not go on.....NO! If it happens on my turf I will deal with it and move on. But, why should stuff like this get press? and among so called church people. This world much was much better off before people got the notion that EVERYTHING has to be talked about!
The Bible gives us instruction on how to deal with people in these instances and nowhere did it say to all talk about it at length on the phone or in forums.
I will admit there are even situations where a person has to sit tight and wait for God to reveal what to do...been there too. But to have everything all out in the open for everyone to discuss is a sin in itself. No one here knows the details of this situation if it did happen. Dear Abbey could have put it in there for entertainment.....she probably knows as well that stuff like this gets good press.
No wonder this forum has had a bad name at times of being like national gossip papers.

I will state one scripture reference....if you don't know what it says go look it up, it would do you good to read some Bible today! Phil 4:8

Sis., I understand what you are saying, but the reason that we have generation after generation of abused children is because for so long, no one would talk about this topic. The only way to fight it is to make people aware. Yes, people can become jaded or lose their trust, but if it causes them to be more protective of their children, then I feel it is worth it.

I'm not saying to name names or spread gossip, but as far as I know, no one knows who this person who wrote "Dear Abby" Is. To talk about it in the abstract is not harmful, it is making people more aware of the dangers our children face every where.

We should be vigilent with the safety of our children no matter who they are with or where they are at.

But I do understand your distress, it is an ugly, ugly topic.

[Subdued]

Originally Posted by dizzyde

Sis., I understand what you are saying, but the reason that we have generation after generation of abused children is because for so long, no one would talk about this topic. The only way to fight it is to make people aware. Yes, people can become jaded or lose their trust, but if it causes them to be more protective of their children, then I feel it is worth it.

I'm not saying to name names or spread gossip, but as far as I know, no one knows who this person who wrote "Dear Abby" Is. To talk about it in the abstract is not harmful, it is making people more aware of the dangers our children face every where.

We should be vigilent with the safety of our children no matter who they are with or where they are at.

But I do understand your distress, it is an ugly, ugly topic.

Just want to say: AMEN!

Originally Posted by dizzyde

Sis., I understand what you are saying, but the reason that we have generation after generation of abused children is because for so long, no one would talk about this topic. The only way to fight it is to make people aware. Yes, people can become jaded or lose their trust, but if it causes them to be more protective of their children, then I feel it is worth it.

I'm not saying to name names or spread gossip, but as far as I know, no one knows who this person who wrote "Dear Abby" Is. To talk about it in the abstract is not harmful, it is making people more aware of the dangers our children face every where.

We should be vigilent with the safety of our children no matter who they are with or where they are at.

But I do understand your distress, it is an ugly, ugly topic.

I understand what you are saying, but really has society got any better since it has become a common thing to open everything up for everyone hear.....I don't think so, it still waxes worse and worse. Just when we think we hear about the most horrible thing that could happen something else takes its place. We can learn to teach our children without broadcasting to everyone about it. The more stuff like this is talked about the less it disturbs us and the more normal things become that used to really distress us. We are being destroyed by our craving for information. We are bombarded with stuff 24/7 and we still want more. Yet we still seek to be in the know even to our own detriment. I am talking about myself as well.

Take a situation that is relevant this week. How much more tolerable has Lanny Wolfe become in some ranks. Years ago, you would have never heard of him singing on anyone's platform. Now, he is promoted as if nothing ever happened. Do I believe in forgivenss, yes! God is the only one who can forget so let's not kid ourselves. If he was truly repentant he would be satisfied to be a church janitor intead of wanting to be in the limelight again. But, my point is, do you see how tolerable we have become? Sickening!

[Subdued]

Originally Posted by MrsBOOMM

I understand what you are saying, but really has society got any better since it has become a common thing to open everything up for everyone hear.....I don't think so, it still waxes worse and worse. Just when we think we hear about the most horrible thing that could happen something else takes its place. We can learn to teach our children without broadcasting to everyone about it. The more stuff like this is talked about the less it disturbs us and the more normal things become that used to really distress us. We are being destroyed by our craving for information. We are bombarded with stuff 24/7 and we still want more. Yet we still seek to be in the know even to our own detriment. I am talking about myself as well.

Take a situation that is relevant this week. How much more tolerable has Lanny Wolfe become in some ranks. Years ago, you would have never heard of him singing on anyone's platform. Now, he is promoted as if nothing ever happened. Do I believe in forgivenss, yes! God is the only one who can forget so let's not kid ourselves. If he was truly repentant he would be satisfied to be a church janitor intead of wanting to be in the limelight again. But, my point is, do you see how tolerable we have become? Sickening!

I'm sorry, but I disagree with you on this. I think it's IMPERATIVE that people talk about abuse comfortably & openly; especially parents... especially to and around our children. Children suffer in silence because of fear - because of being afraid to discuss the unmentionable words/subjects that are never talked about. If children knew that they could go to their parents and speak aloud the dreaded words "sex," "penis," and all the other "bad" words, without their parents *gasping*, then abuse could be stopped early rather than the child having to continue suffering in silence.

Originally Posted by Subdued

I'm sorry, but I disagree with you on this. I think it's IMPERATIVE that people talk about abuse comfortably & openly; especially parents... especially to and around our children. Children suffer in silence because of fear - because of being afraid to discuss the unmentionable words/subjects that are never talked about. If children knew that they could go to their parents and speak aloud the dreaded words "sex," "penis," and all the other "bad" words, without their parents *gasping*, then abuse could be stopped early rather than the child having to continue suffering in silence.

I am not talking about not educating our children about life and the perils that they must watch out for. I am all for having an open door policy to our children to discuss things such as the things they should know and be aware of. A parent that spends time with their children will get to know their child and be able to watch for signs that are warning lights. There is way to little parent/child quality time going on.
I am talking about the tabloid type news that seems to gain so much interest, with others chiming in about their experiences.
Take it to God in prayer. He has the answer to EVERY problem. He knows what we go thru He created us!

[dizzyde]

Originally Posted by MrsBOOMM

I understand what you are saying, but really has society got any better since it has become a common thing to open everything up for everyone hear.....I don't think so, it still waxes worse and worse. Just when we think we hear about the most horrible thing that could happen something else takes its place. We can learn to teach our children without broadcasting to everyone about it. The more stuff like this is talked about the less it disturbs us and the more normal things become that used to really distress us. We are being destroyed by our craving for information. We are bombarded with stuff 24/7 and we still want more. Yet we still seek to be in the know even to our own detriment. I am talking about myself as well.

Take a situation that is relevant this week. How much more tolerable has Lanny Wolfe become in some ranks. Years ago, you would have never heard of him singing on anyone's platform. Now, he is promoted as if nothing ever happened. Do I believe in forgivenss, yes! God is the only one who can forget so let's not kid ourselves. If he was truly repentant he would be satisfied to be a church janitor intead of wanting to be in the limelight again. But, my point is, do you see how tolerable we have become? Sickening!

Well, I don't think I have become more tolerant of it personally, every time I find out something that I really would rather not know, I die a little inside.

But I don't think it has gotten worse really, I think it is just more visible because finally people are doing something about it and not turning a blind eye.

Two of my best friends growing up were molested as children, in both cases nothing was done to the perpetrators, it was hushed up by the families. These were church people.

Both of those girls has suffered long term consequences of the molestations and even more, the pain of nobody doing anything about it.

Both have had many, many problems in their lives that stem back to this.

I have to believe (well, I know) that if two of my closest friends lived this, there were many more unheard victims.

As far as the Lanny Wolfe thing, I don't have any answers to that. Has it been established that he ever admitted to anything? If not, I guess it would be up to the individual churches who are using him to make a decision about what they believe about him. I don't know what to say about it.

I am not saying that there is never a situation that warrants us talking to another adult. There are those times when we need a listening ear. However we must be careful how much info we feed to our kids. Kids are kids and many of them know way to much info before they are old enough to process it. Kids have been made to grow up way to fast emotionally. I thank God that my parents did not let everything hang out to dry in our home. There are things that I have found out as an adult that could have been very much to my detriment had I had this knowledge as a kid. Things are discussed way to openly in front of children.....just my opinion.

[dizzyde]

Originally Posted by MrsBOOMM

I am not saying that there is never a situation that warrants us talking to another adult. There are those times when we need a listening ear. However we must be careful how much info we feed to our kids. Kids are kids and many of them know way to much info before they are old enough to process it. Kids have been made to grow up way to fast emotionally. I thank God that my parents did not let everything hang out to dry in our home. There are things that I have found out as an adult that could have been very much to my detriment had I had this knowledge as a kid. Things are discussed way to openly in front of children.....just my opinion.

This is true, but I think you also should be sooo thankful that nothing occurred in your life that would have forced this knowledge on you.

I had a very sheltered childhood as well, and I thank God for it, but many,many children are not so lucky.

Maybe, I am not conveying what I am really thinking. I think that there should be an environment created where people who have problems can voice them in the right setting. It is very wrong for kids to be violated and no one ever being dealt with about it. Yes, that is definitely wrong. I believe in a family kids should know just what they need to do if they are violated. In a church setting there should be procedures in place and it should be known what the process is if a person is violated. There should be safeguards in place so that it cannot happen that a person...child or adult would get to a place where he/she has no one to turn to in that kind of crisis. My heart does ache for situations like the ones you describe and the ones I am aware of. I still think that we can make our children and others aware of the steps they should follow should they need to without allowing so much tabloid talk that winds its way into our everyday life.
I am a firm believer in being able to take everything to God in prayer. When we do and we don't get the answer we sometimes are tempted to go to a person to find out what they would say, aren't we telling God that we no longer have faith in Him or no longer want to wait on Him. I am not saying we never go to another person, but God does know our every step and can direct us in any situation. It is possible that he could direct us to go to another person.