Standards

[Coffee99]

Originally Posted by notofworks

Rather than doing a thread that will seem self-serving, I'll just post this here and "Let It Be" as Paul McCartney would say.


"Standards" was a real person.

Out of nowhere yesterday morning, he PMed me and said, "Are you _____ _______?"

Whether he was right or wrong about my identity, I freaked. I have never revealed my identity to anyone unless I trusted them completely. As it turns out, someone that does not like me at all and believes he knows who I am has "outed" me, or at least, believes he has. I've told a number of you before how protective I am with my ID because of certain personal reasons. If anyone is anywhere NEAR knowing my ID, I can't continue to be here.

So I was EXTREMELY upset and got in touch with Renda right away. In the meantime, he (Standards) apologized to me and said he was going to do something that would get him banned (kinda like AFF suicide) and then comeback with a fresh start.

I told him that wasn't the way to do it but he didn't listen, of course, and sent a note to many AFFers as well as Admin letting them know what he was going to do (kinda like his AFF suicide note). He then went on the SEU thread and said something like, "All you people do is gossip, you bunch of _______s". In his "parting note" he emphasized that what he was going to say did not represent his personality or character and I believe him.

I'm still trying to find out who is "outing me" but in the meantime, "NOW" is permanently retired. Maybe I'll try something else a few months from now, or maybe this is just a good way to break my AFF addiction!

But for anyone here who feels the need to guess at or to positively identify other members.....Shame on you!!! Regardless of your personal feelings toward me or others, you have no right to dishonor the discretion of AFFers who wish to remain anonymous. Anonymity is sacrosanct in a setting like this and vital to the success of a good Forum. While some are freely "Out" with who they are, there are others like me who have strong reasons for desiring to remain behind a bit of a curtain. How dare you take matters into your own hands and break the sanctity of another persons wishes. If you don't like what someone says, PM them and talk, don't be a snake, go behind the scenes, and start telling others who you think someone is.

I have shared who I am with several and have made lifelong friends. I've spent countless hours on the phone talking to some AMAZING friends about grace!! "Timmy" has become one of my closest friends and in some scary moments, it's been "Timmy" that I've reached out to first. I wanted to point him out because of the occasional vilification he receives because of his "beliefs" or "lack thereof".

This board is filled with some WONDERFUL people, and Renda, you know very well that's NOT what I thought at first. But the writings of Pelathais made me stay...I learned more from him than my college years combined...and I'm SO glad I stayed. Without AFF, I would have missed out on some of the greatest friends I've ever had.

Standards....this isn't on you and if I've said more than you wanted me to reveal, please accept my apologies. But there are many great friends I have here and felt I needed to explain. Again, I want to emphasize that "Standards" is not the bad guy in this story...unless he was trying to find out who I was, and I have no indication he was. But someone here...and I have a good idea who....has violated one of the basics of safety and I can't risk continuing.

I'm leaving my account active and wouldn't want to lose all the PM's I have so I'll be PMing those I don't keep in touch with outside the Forum.

I love you all deeply and I'll see you around.

NotofWorks~

This makes me so very sad. NOW, you have been an inspiration to me and to others. To see you leave this forum because of the petty acts of some classless individual is difficult. But, I understand your need to protect your privacy and am right there with you.

For whomever is trying to break that privacy, shame on you. Your pettiness has cost many and will have a negative impact on this forum. Which may be what you wanted to accomplish. For many self-righteous posters who have been annoyed by NOW's belief in grace and by his questionning of long-held sacred cows, the departure of NOW will, no doubt, be music to your ears. For others of us, it exposes a stench and, in my case, spells the end of having any respect for the more traditional beliefs held by some on this board. For I feel rather certain that it is not anyone who believes in grace who is doing this. Rather, it reeks of someone who is determined to protect their little world of "it's our way or the highway" to the cost of all else.

NOW, I will see you on FB. Thank you for all the good you have done - in "real" life, in the lives of several here on the board, and on this board. Many on this forum consider you a real friend - I'm only one. A few of you have no idea of the blessings you have missed because of your judgmental, rotting attitudes toward NOW and others like him.

This forum is better than this.