Creflo Dollar

[Margies3]

When we were doing foster care, we had a family of 4 children from Guatemala (they were migrant workers). The oldest was only 6 years old and was responsible for the younger 3, including an infant all day long every day. One day the father was angry with her because she had played with her friends instead of taking care of the other 3. So he stripped her back bare, hung her by the wrists from the rafters of their cabin and beat her with a belt.

I had to teach that poor child HOW to be a child again when they came here. We had them for several months while Children's Services worked with the parents, teaching them how to discipline in an acceptable way. This was a family committed to doing whatever it took to get their children back and they did really well, eventually being reunited with their little ones.

They had had their kids back for about a year when one day the father called Children's Services. He said to them that the oldest one had gone with them to WalMart and had shoplifted a candy bar. His discipline in the past would have involved beating her. But since he didn't know what to do, he wanted Children's Services to come out and work with his family to help them thru this. They did exactly that. I'd say this dad did things the way they needed to be done in his case

[canam]

We had an evangelist come to our church one time a real hard core con.acting,sort ,he dint even believe the men should be looking at GQ mag(not that i do ) cause in his mind it stood for generally queer ! one of his boys did something and the assistant told me he witnessed part of, or all of the kids punishment ,he whips his belt off and goes ok boooy, whats it gonna be 10 whoops wit your pants on the floor or 20 wit you pants up, while he is popping the belt , i couldnt believe it, he was lucky i didnt witness it ,im not one to put up with that .Fotunately he has never been back.

[RandyWayne]

Originally Posted by canam

We had an evangelist come to our church one time a real hard core con.acting,sort ,he dint even believe the men should be looking at GQ mag(not that i do ) cause in his mind it stood for generally queer ! one of his boys did something and the assistant told me he witnessed part of, or all of the kids punishment ,he whips his belt off and goes ok boooy, whats it gonna be 10 whoops wit your pants on the floor or 20 wit you pants up, while he is popping the belt , i couldnt believe it, he was lucky i didnt witness it ,im not one to put up with that .Fotunately he has never been back.

I used to tremble in fear at these sort of men. Now I look forward to meeting them. <evil snicker>

[canam]

Originally Posted by Margies3

Right! exactly. Most people don't realize that the people at children's services are honestly not there just to take your child away. They have lots of other services they can provide a family - they can teach a parent how to discipline without beating. They can connect a family with counselors if needed (and frankly, if you have a child at 15 who pushes your buttons to the point that you feel the need to choke them, then there is a clear need for intervention!).

more often than not they are a disaster and on a constant power trip, i can fill a book with their screw ups deadly and other wise.

[Margies3]

Originally Posted by canam

more often than not they are a disaster and on a constant power trip, i can fill a book with their screw ups deadly and other wise.

I'm sorry that your experience with children's services has been so bad. I have not ever found what you've said to be true. Because both of our sons are adopted through the state (not a private adoption), we've had LOTS of experience with the social services agencies. I can name 6 county agencies in two states that we have had extensive interaction with. Our experience has always been that the people who are working children's services have the best interest of the children at the fore-front almost 100% of the time.

We've also been foster parents, so we've seen the picture from both the view of foster parents as well as adoptive parents. Perhaps my view might be different if we had had experience with them investigating to see if they should remove our children from us. Thank the Lord we've never been on that side of the coin. But I have watched from our vantage point and seen CS work hard to keep children in their own homes while trying to help the parents do what they need to do to keep them. I've seen them bend over backwards for birth parents - so much so that as foster parents, we were sometimes frustrated by how quickly kids were returned to their parents. On the other hand, I have to tell you that most often when the kids were returned before they should have been, it was the judges who returned them - not the CS workers. They want to protect the kids!

I'm sure you can give me horror stories. I've read them too. But I'm here to tell you that in my experience, the BAD ones are far fewer than the GOOD ones!

[AreYouReady?]

When my youngest was 9 or 10 years old, he started becoming very rebellious to the point of striking me when he could not have his way. I realized back then that I was going to have to put a stop to it right now because it would probably become impossible when he got older and larger.

One day after he smacked me when he could not have his way, I made him look into my eyes and I told him that if he EVER laid another hand on me, his mother, I was going to call Youth Court and have them come to handle him. If he did not want to obey his parents, he will obey Youth Court. If he did not want to live here and obey his parents, he can obey Youth Court and the foster parents they will assign him to. But like it or not, he will obey somebody, if not us. Then I got out the telephone book and showed him the telephone number to Youth Court.

I also told him that nobody is going to love him as much as we do and that it is not our wish for him to leave the home. It is entirely up to him, but I will not tolerate him striking me anymore.

He is in his twenties now and has not ever laid another hand on me since that day. Graduated honor student from college and is now accepted into a professional school for graduate studies.

Sometimes scaring them has a positive effect. It makes them think about what is going to happen to them if they do not straighten up and act decent.

[Margies3]

Originally Posted by AreYouReady?

When my youngest was 9 or 10 years old, he started becoming very rebellious to the point of striking me when he could not have his way. I realized back then that I was going to have to put a stop to it right now because it would probably become impossible when he got older and larger.

One day after he smacked me when he could not have his way, I made him look into my eyes and I told him that if he EVER laid another hand on me, his mother, I was going to call Youth Court and have them come to handle him. If he did not want to obey his parents, he will obey Youth Court. If he did not want to live here and obey his parents, he can obey Youth Court and the foster parents they will assign him to. But like it or not, he will obey somebody, if not us. Then I got out the telephone book and showed him the telephone number to Youth Court.

I also told him that nobody is going to love him as much as we do and that it is not our wish for him to leave the home. It is entirely up to him, but I will not tolerate him striking me anymore.

He is in his twenties now and has not ever laid another hand on me since that day. Graduated honor student from college and is now accepted into a professional school for graduate studies.

Sometimes scaring them has a positive effect. It makes them think about what is going to happen to them if they do not straighten up and act decent.

[Cindy]

There is a BIG difference in a spanking and a beating. To me an adult standing over a toddler is scary to them. And then to actually stand over them and hit them with something must be terrifying. But, if you kneel down to their level to talk to them, it's not as scary, but could be more effective. IMO

[Margies3]

Originally Posted by Cindy

There is a BIG difference in a spanking and a beating. To me an adult standing over a toddler is scary to them. And then to actually stand over them and hit them with something must be terrifying. But, if you kneel down to their level to talk to them, it's not as scary, but could be more effective. IMO

[MissBrattified]

Originally Posted by Cindy

There is a BIG difference in a spanking and a beating. To me an adult standing over a toddler is scary to them. And then to actually stand over them and hit them with something must be terrifying. But, if you kneel down to their level to talk to them, it's not as scary, but could be more effective. IMO

Wisdom speaks.