Pastors, how do you handle it when...

[mizpeh]

Originally Posted by crazyhomie

Amen Sister, pp got defensive by my comments. The church will always assume the spirit of the pastor. Who he is they will become too.

Not true.

Originally Posted by Hegavmelif

It has everything to do with how they were raised. If you have 20 men in your church who don't work, you need to look at mom and dad. These men are a product of their environment. I have a 15 year boy who took his first job this summer. The contractor he worked for loved him - Thought he had the best attitude and work ethics he had ever seen in a teenager. The contractor readily acknowledged that he (my son) is who he is because of the disciplined, hard-working mom and dad that my son has!

Mom and dad had more to do with the end results in these 20 men than we would want to admit.

I tell woman who complain about how men act that if they want men to act differently, they have to start raising boys differently!!

Individual counseling with a passion to see a difference in each of the lives so these 20 men would have gone a lot further with better results. I would much rather have had the occasion to talk and cousel with each of the individuals individually than to openly rebuke them all at once.

You never know, God might be trying to teach you something about this lazy untoward generation in which you are trying to build churches out of.

And, bythe way, I don't like laziness in anyone. Some of the hardest working people I know are my my wife, her mother, my mother, my grandmothers. The men work equally as as hard.

sorry i called you sister, i meant brother.

[Nahum]

Originally Posted by crazyhomie

Amen Sister, pp got defensive by my comments. The church will always assume the spirit of the pastor. Who he is they will become too.

You meant to say PP got defensive by your REBUKE, right? I mean, that's what it was.

The church better not assume anyone's spirit but God's.

BTW, I hope my attitude does rub off on them (and it has), because I'm not paying their bills. They need to be men and take care of themselves.

[Nahum]

Originally Posted by MissBrattified

...you have a man in your church who is not supporting his family, or at least attempting it, or,

...you have a man in your church who is verbally/physically abusive to his wife and/or children?

Do you rebuke them? Are you heavy handed about these issues? Do you try to handle abusive situations on your own, or do you involve the authorities?

Do you regularly teach/preach to men about how to provide and care for their wives and children?

Just curious...sometimes I wonder if the reason there seems to be a weaker presence of men in some churches because they aren't taught or prompted to be stronger men at home....?

bump

Originally Posted by Pastor Poster

You meant to say PP got defensive by your REBUKE, right? I mean, that's what it was.

The church better not assume anyone's spirit but God's.

BTW, I hope my attitude does rub off on them (and it has), because I'm not paying their bills. They need to be men and take care of themselves.

pp obviously we have a disagreement as to what a rebuke is...i would agree with delta guitar that a rebuke would be to shame someone publically. I have had people openly cause trouble and would have to be escorted out of the service by the ushers. Thats different. We obviously don't see eye to eye on this, so for the sake of unity, we'll drop the subject.

Originally Posted by mizpeh

Not true.

Everything reproduces after its own kind. its the most fundamental law of God.

[BoredOutOfMyMind]

Originally Posted by HeavenlyOne

CH is NOT LarryBoy. Redeemedcynic84 is.

Originally Posted by MissBrattified

Yes...I was about to point that out....

This is an open apology then to RedeemedCynic84.

I have sent RC A pm also.



Thank you ladies.

Originally Posted by Theresa

my husband goes through phases of sensibility...I went OFF not too long ago and he stopped calling and asking.

Then the other night, after he's started up again, I told them to fend for themselves, I had things to do...

I think he's in an "I got a clue" phase...he called me earlier to tell me he'd cleaned up the kitchen, the living room and the bathroom.

I was silent

he was too

I said, "what, you want applause? What about the rest of the house?"

He was like....

"Good bye Theresa"


I just laughed

You obviously flunked "The Psychology of Man"!

Originally Posted by Sheltiedad

We just made a new rule since she has started her own business and is on a different schedule. If she doesn't call me by 4:30 pm I am allowed to eat on my own.

Legalism in a marriage that results in freedom! What a concept!

Luv you man!

Originally Posted by crazyhomie

Amen Sister, pp got defensive by my comments. The church will always assume the spirit of the pastor. Who he is they will become too.

Naw... you are wrong... they usually assume the spirit of the back stabbing rabble rouser they hang out with. I have always been amazed at how, as a society, we are quick to warn our children about the nice older guy who comes bearing gifts and inviting them to come see his puppy... we call them predators... yet in the church we let any old predatory, half backslidden, hypocrite sidle up to our new babes in Christ and pervert their pure minds and if we try to stop them we are abusing the church!

Give me a break and a good dose of common sense! Some things just have to be handled! Biblically it is one on one, one with witnesses and then if not received publically! so much for the pschyobabble masquerading as wisdom and kindness!