Gabby's

Originally Posted by Adra

6:30 AM

I have been awake since 5:30 just snuggled in the bed praying and thinking. This is really a "thoughts flying through my head at lightening speed" post and some sad, and some please pray for my family post.

My dad is 88 yrs. old. He was a mean and brutal person. The scars that I carry inside is much much worse than any scars that would be visible. From the time of my childhood he went to church and taught Sunday School. Because of the way he was is one reason I became an athiest. I felt that no one that mean would be allowed to live if there really was a God.

When I got saved through Gods love I was able to forgive him. And I told him that I forgave him. But I do not have any father-daughter fieeling toward him. I love him with the love that God showed me.

My dad is in the VA hospital and he is dying. I feel no sorrow in my heart. That bothers me. I don't want him to suffer I pray God would ease him out of this world gently, but as the idea that my FATHER is dying I have no sorrow. I pray that he will get everything straight with the Lord before he dies. I have that much Christian love for him.

Is something wrong withme? He never cared about me at all , he was never a real daddy to me. He threw me and how I felt away. I do not feel revengeful nor do I feel hatred. It is almost like I am numb to it all.
EXCEPT I am worried that there is something wrong with me because I do not feel anything at all.

I will understand if this needs to be moved somewhere else.

This is the perfect place to share...we are here to give you love and support. I don't think there is anything wrong with you...my only concern at this point it that when he dies you find things to didn't clear up with him. Have you told him how you feel...the thing is he probably has some deep pain in his heart too! Things like this get passed on from generation to generation until someone is able to stop it. My mom was pretty mean when we were growing up, but so was her mom, and I don't know all the things that caused her to be the way she is...but I too have forgiven her, and I have worked hard to get all my issues with her worked out before she dies...she is 82, and starting to really show her age!

God will help you, if you need to say some things to your dad now is the time before its too late...try to have compassion for him, because as I said he could not have been a happy person and therefor think of his life as one lived in unhappiness...how sad.


Hope this makes some sense to you....love and hugs....

Originally Posted by QueenEsther

Well, it is SNOWING!!! We have almost 4 inches of snow this morning and we are supposed to get more later!!! My daughter is driving me nuts to go out and play in it but unfortunately she has no snow boots yet. I am probably going to have to go and get her some ASAP!!! Along with half of our town,.......I'll be lucky to find some in her size.

How many pairs of tennies does she have...let her go out for a few minutes in her regular shoes to get it out of her system...then warm her feet when she comes in then go get those boots, if you can not find any...bread bags work great!!! on the inside of her shoes....up her legs to keep her dry!

I have talked to him over the years and mostly he simpy says everything that happened was my fault. Trust me, 5 yr.olds do not cause this kind of abuse. I went through many years of hostility toward him. And God really changed me, I feel so thankful that I no longer have to walk in the ugliness that was in my heart and my mind and my dreams that were torturous nightmares that kept on hurting even after I woke up. How wonderful God is that He saw me and knew that I did not believe in Him and He called my name and then He gave me enough faith to believe in Him. And I did and I rejoice that He is my everything.

I get overwhelmed sometimes at how wonderful God is.

Even in the midst of my turmoil I get humbled when God reminds me that He is in control.

Thank you for your reply, and your prayers.

[QueenEsther]

Originally Posted by Sister Truth Seeker

How many pairs of tennies does she have...let her go out for a few minutes in her regular shoes to get it out of her system...then warm her feet when she comes in then go get those boots, if you can not find any...bread bags work great!!! on the inside of her shoes....up her legs to keep her dry!

She only has 2 pair of tennis shoes. And nether one are very warm! Lol! She couldn't go out this morning anyways but she may get to at Daycare. I'm definitely going to have to get some soon!

Originally Posted by Adra

I have talked to him over the years and mostly he simpy says everything that happened was my fault. Trust me, 5 yr.olds do not cause this kind of abuse. I went through many years of hostility toward him. And God really changed me, I feel so thankful that I no longer have to walk in the ugliness that was in my heart and my mind and my dreams that were torturous nightmares that kept on hurting even after I woke up. How wonderful God is that He saw me and knew that I did not believe in Him and He called my name and then He gave me enough faith to believe in Him. And I did and I rejoice that He is my everything.

I get overwhelmed sometimes at how wonderful God is.

Even in the midst of my turmoil I get humbled when God reminds me that He is in control.

Thank you for your reply, and your prayers.

Sis...as I said just have compassion and know you are OK....I am glad God has healed your heart...it would be so good if your dad had a revalation before he died, but as you said you can have peace because God is in control!

[AmazingGrace]

Wrap her legs up in plastic bags and put the shoes on and let that baby run!!! She is gonna have a blast I am sure! I love watching little ones in snow they are so precious and its just their time...

Oh ps... QE Are we going back in seasons??? Happy Thanksgiving? Didnt figure you knew that was still up there so I thought id remind ya

[QueenEsther]

Originally Posted by AmazingGrace

Wrap her legs up in plastic bags and put the shoes on and let that baby run!!! She is gonna have a blast I am sure! I love watching little ones in snow they are so precious and its just their time...

Oh ps... QE Are we going back in seasons??? Happy Thanksgiving? Didnt figure you knew that was still up there so I thought id remind ya

Lol! Yes, I forgot that was up there. I"ll change it!

[Margies3]

Good afternoon, ladies.

I have something I need some advice on - and soon

We got our 13 year old son's mid-term report today in the mail. He has never been at the top of his class, but he's always held his own. Most of the time he would end up on the honor roll, but not always. But nothing less than a C.

This year he is doing terrible! And not just in one subject. This quarter at mid-term he has an F in English, a B+ in Math, an F in Reading, a D in scinece and a C+ in Social Studies.

I am at my whit's end trying to help him. He already has to go to study tables twice a week (that's an hour each day after school). And he wasn't allowed to play on the basketball team because of his grades last quarter. That's school rules. I also took his motorized scooter away and all of his video games and his tv.

What else can I do???? I need ideas. I want him to understand how serious this is. But I also have to be careful not to over-react. Or to miss something that might be causing these problems. I haven't found anything yet, but who knows?

Any advice? Especially from some of you who've 'been there, done that'. But ANY advice would be helpful right now

Thanks!

[Blubayou]

Margie- Try to find out if he is not understanding the work or if it is a motivation problem. That will help you address the problem. I see you have taken a lot of thing away from him- which is one way to address the problem - but don't take so much away he looses hope or the will to do better. As a teacher this is what I have recommended to parents with these kind of issues:
Work with the teachers on a daily basis to find out what the homework or behavior or problems in understanding;
Address the issues that day with a reward system rather than a punishment system.
Reward positive behaviors, completed homework, completed work that is done to the best of his ability. Address the subjects he is having problems with, by providing tutoring or working with him yourself. ( this could be an attention getter on his part)
Have a set time for him to show improvement- a goal that he can work toward - depending on his maturity will determine the length of time to reach the goal. Some children can only work for something a couple of days, some a week, some a mid semester. If you choose the mid semester - have shorter term goals that he can reach and get a reward. If he reaches that goal - provide something as a reward that he would really like. Decide on this ahead of time- This takes a lot of work on your part, but it does teach accountability and responsibility. I have found this method to work when all parties are on the same page. Most teachers will be glad to work with you if you need a weekly or daily communication system so you can keep up with how he is doing at school. I hope this helps. If you have any questions let me know I will try to answer them. I worked with Elementary kids and I know you child is in middle school, but the principles are the same.

[Blubayou]

Adra- I have not experienced the hurt you express, but I can tell you what you are feeling is very normal. God has helped you a great deal with this matter and I know he will continue to help you. Have you tried writing your feelings down. Sometimes this is a way to express how we feel and then examine our feelings. You can write a letter to your dad and release those feeling in the letter. You can give the letter to him or burn the letter which ever you feel is best. These are just some thoughts off of the top of my head. I wish you well and hope you can find peace in this situation.