Ministries for women porn addicts

[Aquila]

Originally Posted by DaveC519

Hi Mizpeh,

Great question. I'd like to start off with some verses:

"All things are lawful unto me, but all things are not expedient: all things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the power of any." (1 Cor 6:12)

"Know ye not, that to whom ye yield yourselves servants to obey, his servants ye are to whom ye obey; whether of sin unto death, or of obedience unto righteousness?" (Rom 6:16)

"And they that are Christ's have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts." (Gal 5:24)

"I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me." (Gal 2:20)

"But I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection: lest that by any means, when I have preached to others, I myself should be a castaway." (1 Cor 9:27)

This is but a sampling to convey the general idea of NT teaching: we are not to be in subjection to the affections and lusts of our flesh, but rather, these should be in subjection to the will of the Spirit which resides in us.

If one finds themselves in subjection- or outright bondage- to the will of the flesh, then the will of the flesh must be weakened and crucified, and the will of the Spirit must be allowed to grow stronger in us. This can only be accomplished through prayer and fasting. That does not mean we cannot receive immediate "deliverance" at the altar, whereby the grip of the flesh is broken. But after this, the will of the flesh must be kept in subjection, and this takes place through prayer and fasting. Not simply prayer alone, but prayer and fasting. Not a one-time fast, but as a regular habit in the life of the believer.

Thank God there is real hope for those (believers and non-believers alike) who are at this moment bound by sin and the flesh. The power of Jesus' name is greater than any chain by which Satan may have them bound. But we must also allow the process of sanctification to begin and continue in us. Sanctification is the process whereby the Holy Ghost conforms us to the image of Jesus Christ.

For each believer, there are some Goliaths which are slain in us immediately upon infilling, but there may be others which are slain over time. I've seen alcoholics who- after infilling- never touched another drop ever. They had no desire whatsoever to return to the bottle. Then I've seen some who were initially delivered, but the desire remained in such a way that they had to practice exactly what I refer to above: a pattern of prayer and fasting.

Amen. I completely agree with you. If you have a man who's lusting after women certainly this chain can be broken by prayer and fasting. We agree here.

But I don't see normal interest, thoughts, or even a fantasy as being the same as a "lust of the flesh". Some people think that any normal human feeling in the sexual arena that isn't towards one's spouse is inherently evil. It's only evil if one allows lust (the actual desire to have one who isn't one's wife) to take root. As with the Song of Solomon, two unmarried individuals who love one another will think about each other night and day. Long for the day that they can touch. They imagine what it will be like. Many may see a man or woman they feel attracted to and have a "fantasy", but they aren't trying to score their phone number and would never pursue the individual for pleasures. I just see a difference here. Not everything about us as human beings is evil or sinful. Some things are just a part of being a human being. You'd have me think that a single person must supress all sexual feelings and be essentially asexual in thought and deed. I don't see that as being required of them. As long as they do not descend into lust (actually desiring to sin and pursuing another for the purpose of sin) or outright fornication or adultery I don't see a "sin" here. Sin, in any form is a Heaven or Hell issue. It's not just a "problem" to be overcome. If it is a sin any single man or woman with the slightest sexual urgings, interests, fantasies, or needs is spirituall dead where they stand and are Hell bound. Maybe you see sin as something not as deadly... I don't. I see sin so seriously that I've come to the conclusion that some things are not "sins"... else most posting on this forum and who attend most of our churches are spiritually dead where they're standing.

Among the supposed "sins" our "religion" teaches us are... cut hair, pants on women, tobaco, alcohol, and yes... some even count television a sin. I know a man who told me National Geographic magazine was pornography because it occasionally had pictures of tribal women wearing no tops. Get real... obviously bone necklaces and nose rings do something for this man... but it does nothing for me. I simply saw them as... tribal people. Wow. Get that.

The Song of Solomon and much of the OT tells us so much about what God feels about human sexuality. We often pigeon hole God into thinking like a Western European Puritan. He doesn’t think that way. We see two unmarried individuals in love having intimate fantasies about one another prior to marriage in the Song of Solomon. Would they act on these fantasies? NO! Such would be sin against God. But do they desire one another? YES. No sin here. Human desire is normal and healthy.

[RandyWayne]

Good post Chris. As I have followed this thread the question occurred to me, so would some tell an engaged couple that ANY thoughts of what the wedding night will be like before it arrives is "lust" and therefor "adultery"? Have there ever been an engaged couple (other then the marriage of young children in some countries) who have not had some pretty intense imaginations before hand? I do not believe it is possible and even if it was, I do not believe it is even necessary but rather to be savored and even enjoyed.

[mizpeh]

Originally Posted by RandyWayne

Good post Chris. As I have followed this thread the question occurred to me, so would some tell an engaged couple that ANY thoughts of what the wedding night will be like before it arrives is "lust" and therefor "adultery"? Have there ever been an engaged couple (other then the marriage of young children in some countries) who have not had some pretty intense imaginations before hand? I do not believe it is possible and even if it was, I do not believe it is even necessary but rather to be savored and even enjoyed.

Shouldn't the enjoyment be contained until the wedding night?

[RandyWayne]

Originally Posted by mizpeh

Shouldn't the enjoyment be contained until the wedding night?

The "enjoyment" is in the thinking about it.

[Aquila]

Originally Posted by RandyWayne

I keep hearing "pray pray pray" and "fast fast fast" but have NEVER had luck overcoming a bad habit by doing either. In fact with the issue being discussed I would think that doing both specifically to fight an "urge" would not help, but hurt since your not replacing the urge but trying to fight it head on. The best thing to do (and this goes for other things such as smoking) is to find something ELSE to do. "Whatever your hands find to do" as the saying goes. Build a boat in your basement like Jethro Gibbs. Work out -a lot! Find something to do that occupies your time! Idol hands truly is the devils work shop and simply closing your eyes, while your hands and forehead are sweating, and praying as the sole means of fighting an urge will do little to curb anything.

I’ve heard this before and there’s something to it… but it isn’t a cure all. You see… after you’ve built the boat, worked out, jogged, etc… the individual typically finds themselves at the mercy of this unmet need. It’s so natural that if it isn’t taken care of the body will do it nocturnally. I like Paul’s advice, if one cannot contain, they should consider looking for a spouse. Because it’s better to marry than to burn with the passion of an unmet need. Of course in our 21st century culture most are expected to wait before marrying far longer than individuals were expected to wait in biblical times. This is primarily due to the amount of education needed in our society. But to one who can’t beat the “urge”… I’d tell them, “Clearly this indicates that you are meant to marry.” I’d advise them not to feel condemned and that they are normal healthy individuals and that God still loves them. I would advise that they stay away from pornographic materials and fornication. I’d advise that they not fall into the trap of truly desiring to have another outside of marriage, such would be lust. I would tell them to embrace their single status and rejoice in the blessings of being able to dedicate more time to the Lord. I would advise that they keep their private times private.

I’ve learned that when you lift the condemnation and get their focus off of this issue as though it is the Goliath that will destroy them… it subsides and they indeed do find other things to do. You disarm it and get it into the light, teaching them about themselves and God’s love. I’ve seen the opposite approach. Again, having attended an ultra conservative church I remember the youth leader addressing some of the boys and asking about their “problem” on occasion. We all knew their problem. To be honest, most of us had the same “problem” to varying degrees…we just weren’t caught and asked to be counseled. I was lucky to have a mom with a good head on her shoulders that taught me not to sweat the small stuff. While my peers were thinking they can’t live for God and that God doesn’t love them I was feeling rather confident and assured of my place in God. As I watched so many of my peers give up and leave church as soon as possible because of the guilt, shame, and condemnation that caused them to just quit… I stood there wondering what got them down the road of thinking that God didn’t love them and that they couldn’t live for God. This will typically be one of the greatest questions and struggles of any young man. If you mess this battle up… he’ll pay for it for most of his life.

I know I have a different take on it. But hey, maybe I’m called to be the opposing opinion for the reader’s reflection.

Originally Posted by MrsMcD

I agree and I also think that one of the biggest helps with this issue or any other issue is accountability.

Yes…accountability helps with addictions in this area.

[Aquila]

I know Dave has professed that he's never done this or fallen into what he calls "sin" in this area.

I'm curious... is there anyone else who'd like to state that they've always lived above this experience? Anyone willing to go on record before God and man and state that they will never do this again?

I'm curious. I've seen alot of moral chest beating in my time. But the truth is... all liars shall have their part in the lake of fire. I'm looking for some who are on the record honest about this and not self deluded about their "victory". I'd like to know your story and how you overcame. It might help a reader too.

God bless.

[Jeffrey]

Originally Posted by Aquila

I know Dave has professed that he's never done this or fallen into what he calls "sin" in this area.

I'm curious... is there anyone else who'd like to state that they've always lived above this experience? Anyone willing to go on record before God and man and state that they will never do this again?

I'm curious. I've seen alot of moral chest beating in my time. But the truth is... all liars shall have their part in the lake of fire. I'm looking for some who are on the record honest about this and not self deluded about their "victory". I'd like to know your story and how you overcame. It might help a reader too.

God bless.

You aren't allowed to ask such questions.

[RandyWayne]

Originally Posted by Jeffrey

You aren't allowed to ask such questions.

See I knew this "internet" thing was nothing but hell spawn.......

[rgcraig]

Originally Posted by Aquila

I know Dave has professed that he's never done this or fallen into what he calls "sin" in this area.

I'm curious... is there anyone else who'd like to state that they've always lived above this experience? Anyone willing to go on record before God and man and state that they will never do this again?

I'm curious. I've seen alot of moral chest beating in my time. But the truth is... all liars shall have their part in the lake of fire. I'm looking for some who are on the record honest about this and not self deluded about their "victory". I'd like to know your story and how you overcame. It might help a reader too.

God bless.

You are too curious.

[Pressing-On]

Originally Posted by rgcraig

You are too curious.

Next thing, he will be asking for our Social Security numbers! Don't give it to him!