The Newspaper will read...
Pastor Poster was a good man but encroached upon the wrong crowd on the wrong side of town at the wrong time. A gang known as the Ladies Auxillary had to take him out.. He was on their turf and they weren't having it..
We found him covered in Jean Skirts and the Blue Denim Whale gang sign painted on a Hand Made Pleated paper fan... and there was a district recipe book nearby... it was the only clues as to what happened to him...
His Benediction and Funeral will be presided over by the Ladies Auxillery... Peanut Brittle and Chili Boats will be served afterwards... for $1.50 per person...