Pastor's Wives

[Margies3]

Originally Posted by missourimary

I've seen it in one (or maybe two) churches of four I was in. It really seems to depend (in my experience) on the church, the pastor's view of a woman's "place", and the woman's abilities and desire for position. Sometimes the pastor's wife takes these roles when the church is small and has just never let them go. Sometimes the saints look to her for leadership and she feels obligated. I'm sure there are other possibilities too. It isn't healthy, but I've never seen anyone change such a situation, either. I've never been in a church that truly had a supporting ministry team that was properly used. Everything was directed by the pastor.

Originally Posted by Sherri

A church can never really grow very large if the pastor (and/or his wife) keep tight control of everything that goes on. You can only micro-manage so many people and then you're overwhelmed and growth has to stop. I think it's a matter of trust. If you trust your people, you will release control to them. I can't imagine having control over every department - who does what, when, etc. etc. etc. I would lose my mind!

MM, I think that is incredibly sad. I don't believe for a minute that it healthy for a church to be like that. Why would a pastor put people in a position of leadership and then not trust them to lead? That makes absolutely NO sense to me.

Sherri, I like the way you folks do things. That is a sign of a healthy church. If the pastor has done his job the right way, and if the saints have been open to his leading, he should have been able to lead them into a place in their lives where they could be handed a position like that and trusted to run with it.

That does not mean that I don't believe that leaders should not be trained in how to be effective leaders. They SHOULD! But when they've gone thru the training, they need to be trusted.

When you raise your children, it is so that they will eventually grow up to be strong, healthy, mature adults and able to move on with their lives, doing the work that GOD has called them to. It's the same with saints. Sometimes pastors need to cut the apron strings, eh?

[Elizabeth]

Eddie & Sherri are great leaders and wonderful at training leaders. Keith and I have attended their leadership semiars and were so blessed, we learned a lot.
It is helpful for a leader to learn all they can to be a better leader. She (the pastor's wife in post 1)may not even realize what she is doing is wrong. I am still learning myself - but love it when people step up and lead. Sometimes churches are used to the pastor and his wife doing most of the work, especially small churches. It takes time to change how things are done.

[Margies3]

Originally Posted by Elizabeth

Eddie & Sherri are great leaders and wonderful at training leaders. Keith and I have attended their leadership semiars and were so blessed, we learned a lot.
It is helpful for a leader to learn all they can to be a better leader. She may not even realize what she is doing is wrong. I am still learning myself - but love it when people step up and lead. Sometimes churches are used to the pastor and his wife doing most of the work, especially small churches. It takes time to change how things are done.

Just to clarify - you are NOT talking about Sherri, right?

[Elizabeth]

Originally Posted by Margies3

Just to clarify - you are NOT talking about Sherri, right?

Of course not! I am talking about the pastor's wife, the one this thread is about.

[Margies3]

Originally Posted by Elizabeth

Of course not! I am talking about the pastor's wife, the one this thread is about.

LOL! I knew that, Liz. Just wanted to be sure that we were all clear about it.

[Trouvere]

I love Missions. It seems that trivial things do not matter there that are so important to
us here in the U.S. In Africa the Apostle we work with has a wife who is a hard worker and everyone respects her

In India we have teams of pastors and their wives building Bible Colleges and baptizing people. They do the work together.

It seems that the greatest teams are those where
the husbands and wives function together.

If leadership is trained correctly then people
realize its not a one man show.

[Elizabeth]

Originally Posted by Trouvere

I love Missions. It seems that trivial things do not matter there that are so important to
us here in the U.S. In Africa the Pastors wife is a Prophetess and everyone respects her
and everyone else who is a teacher, preacher,evangelist, prophet, pastor, Apostle etc.
In India we see teams of pastors and their wives building Bible Colleges and baptizing people. They do the work together. It seems that the greatest teams are those where
the husbands and wives function together. If leadership is trained correctly then people
realize its not a one man show.

That is a very good point!

[Trouvere]

Sister Elizabeth I wonder what would happen if all the truth teaching married men of God would look to encourage the help meet that Jesus has given to them.

I have heard and seen many things over the years. It is a great blessing to see someone value their mates.

Aquila and Priscilla had the right thing in mind when they worked together in the gospel and the workforce. Paul also worked along side of them.

Religion is the voice that separates the body. Not true religion but worldly ideas and things promoted that inflate ego.

I would rather work teaching a group of sinners truth and how to listen to the voice of Jesus than retrain a bunch of folks held captive for years.

The sad thing is when someone does not realize they are bound but then that is another topic entirely.

[snicker1986]

Originally Posted by missourimary

I've never been in a church that truly had a supporting ministry team that was properly used. Everything was directed by the pastor.

I know that "denominational" is considered a four letter word in pentecost, but my experience in these churches is that (whether or not you like their doctrine) their leadership model of a ministry team allows more outreach and growth.

It seems with the spirit that exists in a pentecostal church, it should be ready to explode with growth, but can only grow so far with one person in charge of everything. The pastor always has to be in charge, but I have been frustrated to see so many people not being used under him to work for the kingdom.

Thanks for all the input so far. It seems that what I have seen occurs other places but is not the "norm" in all pentecostal churches. Maybe there is hope...

[Elizabeth]

Originally Posted by Trouvere

Sister Elizabeth I wonder what would happen if all the truth teaching married men of God would look to encourage the help meet that Jesus has given to them.

I have heard and seen many things over the years. It is a great blessing to see someone value their mates.

Aquila and Priscilla had the right thing in mind when they worked together in the gospel and the workforce. Paul also worked along side of them.

Religion is the voice that separates the body. Not true religion but worldly ideas and things promoted that inflate ego.

I would rather work teaching a group of sinners truth and how to listen to the voice of Jesus than retrain a bunch of folks held captive for years.

The sad thing is when someone does not realize they are bound but then that is another topic entirely.

Well I think that is the way it should be- I know there I things I do that would definitely be frowned upon by some.

It is refreshing to work with people that do not have a preconceived idea of what a woman is suppose to do and not do-most of our folks are brand new Christians and many are women. I am looking forward to them discovering their gifting and finding their place in ministry.

But I think you are right when they working for God in Paul's day, they worked together without someone holding someone back because of their sex.

I love missions though and pray we get to go over seas again this year.