I am Addicted and SERIOUSLY Need Help

[RandyWayne]

Originally Posted by Addicted

I need to speak to a male who has been addicted to pornography and has over come this addiction. I am in desperate need of help and i want to quit or it will destroy me, seriously. I very seldom cry out for help concerning this matter because a part of me doesn't want to stop, that's what makes it so bad, so now i am in that moment of deep "sick and tired" and am making a plea for someone to talk to while the window is open, i don't want it to close anymore because then i will have a hard time talking to anyone about it. If you know anyone who isn't on this forum who had this problem, please notify them that their is a brother that is in desperate need and hopefully God will lead them to join this forum to give me hope.

Thank you

While prayer helps, simply sitting and praying (and fasting) 24/7 is not the answer. The answer is finding something ELSE to do with your time and finding other things to occupy your thoughts. Let other interests and hobbies take precedent. Personally I've delved into my computer skills (am the IT guy at a private school here in Arizona) and other hobbies such as photography and photoshop. It does work!

Simply sitting in a chair, white knuckled, trying not to do something will never ever work. Never. It needs to be replaced with something else.

[missourimary]

Originally Posted by RandyWayne

While prayer helps, simply sitting and praying (and fasting) 24/7 is not the answer. The answer is finding something ELSE to do with your time and finding other things to occupy your thoughts. Let other interests and hobbies take precedent. Personally I've delved into my computer skills (am the IT guy at a private school here in Arizona) and other hobbies such as photography and photoshop. It does work!

Simply sitting in a chair, white knuckled, trying not to do something will never ever work. Never. It needs to be replaced with something else.

If your focus is "I will not do this, I will not do this, I will NOT do this..." you're more likely to do it. If your focus is, "I will do this other, I will do this other, I will do this other instead", it does help. Accountability partners, passwords that only someone else has, computer in an open room where you don't have privacy, filters... I've heard of all these helping too.

[*AQuietPlace*]

You've received some great advice. I'm praying for you!

[Addicted]

Originally Posted by Bella1

I am praying for you right now. This was/is the ONE of the reasons for the failing of my marriage. So sad. In Jesus Name I pray for deliverance for you.

Thank you so much, i am married by the way and my wife knows about it. I do understand that it is hurting her a lot (you can vouch for her) but this is just like cocaine, even if it is destroying your family, its still not easy to give up.

[Addicted]

Originally Posted by Sweet Pea

I am not a male - and I haven't gone through this addiction; however, your plea for help touched my heart. I pray God sends someone to you whom you can trust and they will be an accountability partner for you. I pray He continues to give you strength to overcome this. May God bless you!

Amen, thank you for your kindness and understanding

[Addicted]

Originally Posted by onefaith2

I have fought this off and on in my life.

Of course no pun intended, fasting and prayer helps (but that alone will not defeat it as faith without works is dead, we have to determine to repent or change course)

You have to take personal precautions to protect you from being tempted such as parental controls, filters to which you do not have the password, etc.

You also need to make standards about what you look at as a whole. I have resolved not to view love scenes in movies or look at any lady immodestly dressed, period. That includes magazines in the check out line in stores, any movies that you view, any books that you read.

Jesus said, if thy right eye offend thee, pluck it out. He didn't necessarily mean literally pluck your eye out but you must remove from your access everything that is currently pulling you to view pornography over and over.

Failure over and over hurt me the most but these standards are definitely helping me overcome any temptation.

Accountability to someone is key also, which is where the password or access things can come in as well.


Remember Jesus already fought and defeated this temptation and nailed ours to the cross with Him. His wisdom can help us defeat ours.

Amen, i am glad that you are overcoming this thing. I'm 24 years old, married with two kids and i don't want my kids subjected to this foolishness as i was. It all started when i was 5 years old (believe it or not), i saw things i shouldn't have saw (wasn't my parents fault). I have been fighting this on and off for 19 years and the longest i have been able to last out of all these year is a month without watching porn. I'm disgusted with myself because i am an aspiring minister of God and people look up to me, yet they don't know my skeletons. I hate being this way and i know you know how i feel. God bless you my brother for the hope that you have given me for i know i can overcome even though i have tried many many times but God isn't through with me yet.

[Addicted]

Originally Posted by MissBrattified

Excellent post, onefaith.

*The Bible says if your eye offends you, pluck it out. Okay, I don't think we should take that literally, BUT if your computer offends you? Toss it. Stop watching TV shows or movies or reading books that have erotic content. Even sensual content can be a "trigger" for an addict. If you use your computer for business, then only use it in public places. If you're married, then put the computer in the living room with the screen facing out where anyone who walks through the room can see it. If you live alone, then only use your computer in public places, like the office or coffee shop, and keep the screen where people can see it all the time. If you feel tempted, shut your computer down, and leave and go do something else.

*Educate yourself on the types of women who are involved in porn. You may be able to develop compassion for them instead of lust. Mark Driscoll has a couple of good sermons about this on youtube.

*Get outside the house. When you're feeling tempted, leave the house and go interact with REAL people. Porn is a fantasy world, and you need to immerse yourself into the real world. Plan things to keep yourself busy, involve yourself in some sort of community work or outreach. Develop a hobby. Play sports. Go work out.

*My husband had a friend who asked him to be his accountability partner. He signed up with a service that emailed my husband a list of everything he viewed on online once every week or month (can't remember how often it was). Sure enough, the first month or two, my husband got an email with some questionable websites, and he had to make a tough phone call. Find someone who is a REAL friend, and isn't scared to call you on it when you mess up. Good friends don't encourage you or excuse you when you're involved in something destructive; they discourage it and try to help.

*Pray and fast. Fasting is the most powerful tool for overcoming fleshly addictions, IMO. If you can avoid feeding your body the food it wants, then you can exercise the self-control needed to conquer other needs.

Most addictions are rooted in a lack of coping skills. There's something that triggers you to return to porn over and over again. For a guy, that may seem obvious--you're a guy and you like looking at porn. However, sometimes people resort to any kind of temporary feel-good activity because they are stressed, overwhelmed, discouraged, angry, depressed or just plain bored. Try to figure out what triggers you.

I never realized how bad and addiction could be but i am a living example. I feel like Paul, that i am the least. This all started at the age of 5 so, my level of addiction is pretty high. Ive tried so many things but none of them seemed to work. I believe the accountability thing would work though, was going to try it once before but never did. I just want to be the Christian that God wants me to be, i don't want to be an example of destruction by sexual idolatry for God has a bigger plan in my life. To be honest, nothing has to trigger the urge, it feels like its just apart of me and i believe it feels that way because its been going on for 19 years now, i'm only 24 with a wife and two kids. Im so tired of living this way and i know if God can deliver me from this, God can truly do anything. God Bless you

[missourimary]

Have you considered talking to a licensed Christian counselor, especially since you were exposed so young?

[Scott Hutchinson]

Prayer and fasting will help,but I suggest getting some counseling and avoid things that tempt you. My prayers are with you,and all things are possible to him that believeth.

Jesus died on the cross and shed His blood for situations like this.

[jfrog]

Originally Posted by Addicted

I never realized how bad and addiction could be but i am a living example. I feel like Paul, that i am the least. This all started at the age of 5 so, my level of addiction is pretty high. Ive tried so many things but none of them seemed to work. I believe the accountability thing would work though, was going to try it once before but never did. I just want to be the Christian that God wants me to be, i don't want to be an example of destruction by sexual idolatry for God has a bigger plan in my life. To be honest, nothing has to trigger the urge, it feels like its just apart of me and i believe it feels that way because its been going on for 19 years now, i'm only 24 with a wife and two kids. Im so tired of living this way and i know if God can deliver me from this, God can truly do anything. God Bless you

If you want to be rid of the desire... well that might never happen. However, that doesn't mean you can't live porno free... it just means its going to be hard. You see, your will no matter how strong it is and how much you pray or fast to help strengthen it is to weak and you will eventually give in because your desires will keep on hounding you until you do. You see, you're not strong enough and theres nothing you can do that will make you strong enough to override that desire, not even praying and fasting more than you ever have. I know because I have tried.

So I think you're only option is to avoid every oppurtunity where you might do this. And remember you can't avoid the opportunities on your own strength... you must give someone else the keys that allow access to every opportunity (maybe your wife). If you must have access to something like the computer where you have the opportunity then make sure that person understands that you can only be on the computer with their supervision and to password it appropriately. Oh and I don't know for sure if any of this will work.

One other thing... I know I said prayer and fasting wouldn't be enough (unless God chooses to take your desire away)... but prayer and fasting will still be beneficial... so do them and do them alot... but you still must cut off every opportunity.