Seven Days of Sex... Woo Hoo!! :)

[Jermyn Davidson]

Originally Posted by George

You and I may think it is senseless for a couple to live in fear of violating a sacred creed if they have OS or AS, but there are others on this forum who are saying it is wrong.

Hey George how are you?

The point you make is EXACTLY the reason why I have asked the questions I have asked.

For folks to have the strong opinions that they have, you would think there would be solid scripture to back up the opinions.

[Michael Phelps]

Originally Posted by George

After 30 + years of marriage, you don't have to convince me that sex is a pertinent subject for couples. The bottom line is the decision is between the married couple and they don't need the opinions of people on this forum who are saying, "No, it's a sin," or "It's ok." That is a decision they have to make. If they are living in fear of having adventurous sex with their partner, they need to get therapy.

You and I may think it is senseless for a couple to live in fear of violating a sacred creed if they have OS or AS, but there are others on this forum who are saying it is wrong. This leaves the scared couple confused and we are not really helping them. They need to seek a licensed therapist. It is not any of the preacher's business to direct anyone's sex life provided it is within the bonds of marriage. Bottom line - the marriage bed is a free place providing the couple are in agreement. It is nobody elses business.

Following this logic, George, we shouldn't have threads about financial advice on this forum - we should tell people to consult a professional financial advisor.

We shouldn't have threads about health related issues - we should tell people to consult a doctor.

We shouldn't have ANY doctrinal threads at all - we should tell people to seek counsel from their pastors only.

This is a discussion forum where people come to present ideas and learn other viewpoints. If it's done tastefully, it can be of great benefit, especially to people who feel uncomfortable discussing such issues with people they interact with on a daily basis.

[Neck]

Originally Posted by George

After 30 + years of marriage, you don't have to convince me that sex is a pertinent subject for couples. The bottom line is the decision is between the married couple and they don't need the opinions of people on this forum who are saying, "No, it's a sin," or "It's ok." That is a decision they have to make. If they are living in fear of having adventurous sex with their partner, they need to get therapy.

You and I may think it is senseless for a couple to live in fear of violating a sacred creed if they have OS or AS, but there are others on this forum who are saying it is wrong. This leaves the scared couple confused and we are not really helping them. They need to seek a licensed therapist. It is not any of the preacher's business to direct anyone's sex life provided it is within the bonds of marriage. Bottom line - the marriage bed is a free place providing the couple are in agreement. It is nobody elses business.

************************************************** *****

I agree it is about agreement.

A couples bed is only undefiled if their relationship is undefiled.

You can't be at odds in every other area of your life and expect your partner to then submit to grandeur.

You first have to be a union in relationship before you can share perfect peace in intimate union.

[Neck]

Originally Posted by George

Thank you for this post! Really, this thread needs to stop. It is a very intimate subject that is really nobody's business except the married man and his wife. They alone decide what happens in their bed. If the wife agrees to AS and the husband OS or vice versa, that is their perogative. It is none of my business if they do or don't. God doesn't care either. As long as that married couple is in agreement it is none of our business.

It sounds to me as if someone is trying to prove a point to shove in their spouse's face to get what they want and this is not the way to do it. If your spouse says, "No," respect their wishes. Intimate actions must be in agreement.

************************************************** *****

I agree.

If I were to counsel couples before they were to marry.

I would ask them to talk intimately about.

More than..... at what table each friend and family member would sit at.

I would share that they need to talk about money, workload and intimate relations.

I do not know about anyone else on this thread.

I am 44 and have been married in Dec 22 years.

So this coming March marks me being married half of my still young life.

I remember sitting and talking with my girlfriend and asking many things about her dreams and hopes.

I also asked her for the OK to talk about intimate things.

We went into engagement and marriage with intimate understandings.

These understandings were not contractual or devisive.

They were understandings of protection and behavior to have us bond together in both spirit and body.

So there were no hidden agenda's or hidden fetish.

If we were going to change as many ended marriages end because someone has changed.

We were going to change with each other.

While growing up in the church atmosphere that I did as a child.

I saw many a men teating their closest human contact in their adult life as if they were a machine and not a mutual intimate bond.

What I see as confusion in many marriages and intimacy even in the church today.

Is summed up in selfishness, control, fear, stress, and anxiety.

This leads to stress in a relationship.

How many ladies on this thread.

Start to feel stress as the days of the week start to tick towards Saturday morning.

When a relationship is pure and intimacy is true.

These moments are not dreaded or avoided.

They are shared, intimate and loving.

I did not need to read any self help books to understand intimacy.

I started out with a conversation with my girlfriend.

From there we made our mistakes in life and we made them together.

In the past 22 years we have laughed, cried, worried, prayed, loved and (wow) stayed together.

What I see today in society are acts being acted out.

Without the bonds of love and intimacy.

Anyone want to better thier intimate life start with a conversation.

Use that same example into your relationship with Chrsit and have more conversations with him.

[ILG]

That was a really nice post, Neck (uh, no pun intended with that name there. ) Seriously, it is a great post.

[Neck]

Originally Posted by ILG

That was a really nice post, Neck (uh, no pun intended with that name there. ) Seriously, it is a great post.

Thanks.

God Bless!

[TRFrance]

Originally Posted by Truthseeker

I was reading a medical book that said risk for rectal cancer is through the roof for homosexuals, i think it increased risk by 60%, if I remember right. I'm sure it's no different for a female. Why? not made for that.

Originally Posted by Pressing-On

So on the AS issue - I get to have pain inflicted on me? What does he get?

Originally Posted by Pressing-On

Exactly! My husband would never go outside of being a gentlemen and even consider doing something like that to me.

Setting aside the strict moral/scriptural aspect for a moment....a 60% increased chance of colorectal cancer is a significant risk. Since our body is the temple of God (1 Cor 3:16), it is our responsibility to maintain it properly and not do things to endanger our health and our lives. Indeed, scripture also says a man should love his wife as his own flesh.. [Eph 5:28-29]... so he should always be looking out for her well being, physically and spritually.

In light of this it might be fair to ask : Why would a woman want to engage in this activity if she knows it increases her cancer risk by this much [endangering the well-being of God's temple]? And why would a man want to increase the risk of his wife getting colorectal cancer by doing this, simply for the sake of "spicing up" their relationship?

Some might debate the A.S. issue on moral/scriptural grounds, but I think the medical aspect of this is something to consider also.

[George]

Originally Posted by Neck

************************************************** *****

I agree.

If I were to counsel couples before they were to marry.

I would ask them to talk intimately about.

More than..... at what table each friend and family member would sit at.

I would share that they need to talk about money, workload and intimate relations.

I do not know about anyone else on this thread.

I am 44 and have been married in Dec 22 years.

So this coming March marks me being married half of my still young life.

I remember sitting and talking with my girlfriend and asking many things about her dreams and hopes.

I also asked her for the OK to talk about intimate things.

We went into engagement and marriage with intimate understandings.

These understandings were not contractual or devisive.

They were understandings of protection and behavior to have us bond together in both spirit and body.

So there were no hidden agenda's or hidden fetish.

If we were going to change as many ended marriages end because someone has changed.

We were going to change with each other.

While growing up in the church atmosphere that I did as a child.

I saw many a men teating their closest human contact in their adult life as if they were a machine and not a mutual intimate bond.

What I see as confusion in many marriages and intimacy even in the church today.

Is summed up in selfishness, control, fear, stress, and anxiety.

This leads to stress in a relationship.

How many ladies on this thread.

Start to feel stress as the days of the week start to tick towards Saturday morning.

When a relationship is pure and intimacy is true.

These moments are not dreaded or avoided.

They are shared, intimate and loving.

I did not need to read any self help books to understand intimacy.

I started out with a conversation with my girlfriend.

From there we made our mistakes in life and we made them together.

In the past 22 years we have laughed, cried, worried, prayed, loved and (wow) stayed together.

What I see today in society are acts being acted out.

Without the bonds of love and intimacy.

Anyone want to better thier intimate life start with a conversation.

Use that same example into your relationship with Chrsit and have more conversations with him.

My pastor requires several hours of premarital counseling and he encourages them to talk out every aspect of the marriage including sex. He will give them a list of questions and leave the room so they have privacy to discuss intimate issues. He covers "evverrrthang!" There have been many couples thank him because they felt pushing them into these discussions with each other gave them a better sex life. Several times, brides who were raised in the church and had no experience at all, have written letters thanking him because their parents had never talked to them about sex.

Neck, it sounds like you would make a great premarital counselor. If I were your pastor, I would give you the job of premarital counseling.

[Neck]

Originally Posted by George

My pastor requires several hours of premarital counseling and he encourages them to talk out every aspect of the marriage including sex. He will give them a list of questions and leave the room so they have privacy to discuss intimate issues. He covers "evverrrthang!" There have been many couples thank him because they felt pushing them into these discussions with each other gave them a better sex life. Several times, brides who were raised in the church and had no experience at all, have written letters thanking him because their parents had never talked to them about sex.

Neck, it sounds like you would make a great premarital counselor. If I were your pastor, I would give you the job of premarital counseling.

*********************************************

Thanks.

[MissBrattified]

Originally Posted by George

...Several times, brides who were raised in the church and had no experience at all, have written letters thanking him because their parents had never talked to them about sex.

My parents did a great job on most things, but this was one area I was CLUELESS in!!!! Kind of odd, too, because my Dad was very outspoken in general. A few days before my WEDDING, my mother gave me a book by Dr. Dobson that had details about what sex was all about, but she didn't explain ANYthing...just handed me the book and walked out. LOL!

My older sister asked me the night before if I had any questions, but I was too shy about it, and told her no.

So on my wedding day, Dr. Dobson was my only source.

I don't remember the name of the book.