A Wrecked Church! - Page 29

ILG · #**281** 07-15-2012, 10:03 AM

I have been reading the book Confessions of Surgeon by Paul A. Ruggieri. Last night I read a part where he talks about being sued. Early in his career, he rushed to the aid of an aging surgeon whose license should have been pulled as he kept messing up. However, the hospital was afraid to touch the old surgeon. He helped this surgeon who had made a huge mistake and left the room. The old surgeon then accidentally left a sponge in the person. The person sued. The old physician pretty much threw Dr. Ruggieri to the wolves in an attempt to keep his job. Here is what Dr. Ruggieri writes about having gone through it:

Quote:

"The main truth is often irrelevant. The final truth ends up originating from an economic decision.....this (old) surgeon created his own problems. I don't blame the woman for suing....."

"Any patient, at any time, regardless of the quality of care given, can file a frivolous malpractice lawsuit, oblivious to the implications to those involved."

"As a result of two opening sentences in a legal letter, I was initiated into a secret club rarely spoken about. It is a club that brands you with a scarlet letter. A letter you spend the rest of your life trying to hide. I soon would journey through a process that swallows you whole, takes a few bites, and then regurgitates you. In the end, it leaves you alone to clean the emotional vomit off your white coat before getting back into the operating room. Living through a malpractice lawsuit forever changed me....the day I received that letter was the day I lost my professional virginity. I was young. It hurt like hell. I wanted it to be over quickly, and I would never speak about it again.....as the lawsuit unfolded, the very foundation of my professional altruism was shaken."

"As a defendant, I was embarrassed, shocked, %&$@ off, humbled and confused. I was embarrassed because the process made me feel as if I was part of some unspeakable evil. It made me feel as if I had purposely planned to cause harm, schemed to be negligent. I was shocked because nothing had prepared me to deal with the emotional baggage with being named in a lawsuit."

"As the suit ran it's slow course, it felt like I was emotionally bleeding every time I had to devote energy to defending myself. During the long, uninvolved gaps, I did my best to scab over the wounds until the next meeting or deposition. Then, the bleeding would start all over again.

"Three years later....the case was dropped. Yes, that was good news, but it was not over for me. For the next ten years, this black mark is on my record, even though I've been dropped from the case. Every time I apply for hospital privileges or renew my license, I have to explain it."

Wow. Could I ever relate to that! I had a hard time sleeping last night. My husband and I were never vindicated aside from the fact that the lawsuit(s) were finally dropped. Every friend that the previous pastor had ever had believed we were evil church destroyers. Many of the church members believed that. Far and wide, anywhere I go, if I were to walk into a UPC church and people found out who I was, there would be whispers and gossip. We had moved here from another state and no one here knew us when we took the church. We were both first generation Pentecostals.

When my husband decided to disafilliate the church, we had pretty much lost all confidence and hope in the district superintendent and presbyter. Of course, the presbyter had to show up for the disaffiliation meeting. He basically told the people that if there was a vote to disafilliate that we would take any money left. The district was there to protect them from that, from evil people like us! HA! Hogwash.

ILG · #**282** 07-15-2012, 11:07 AM

Anyway, lawsuits are so horrible. They suck the life out of you and drag on.....and on......and on......just when you think you are going to get a resolution, there is another reason to go back and back and back.

Just remember, the church building is a building. It is not God, it is not the church. It is not worth sweating great drops of blood over.

We were the defendants. We had no choice. If you have a choice, don't walk, RUN to the nearest exit. You may feel right, but you can take that rightness in your soul with you wherever you go. When we disaffiliated the church we could have pulled the church OUT of the organization. Why didn't we? We did not want to hurt the people who had supported us in any way. We quietly disappeared. Records in tact.

By the way, when we left, we didn't want any chance of revisionist history happening. My husband just happened to work for a printing company at the time and he took sheafs of paper with him to work every day. We took copies of the vast majority of the records with us, so, if anyone destroyed those other records there are more......but I will never say where.

Rapture 1 · #**283** 07-15-2012, 02:56 PM

ILG, I couldn't agree with you more. That's what they are doing. There were only 20 there this morning, and 6 "the good guys" will not be back.

ILG · #**284** 07-15-2012, 03:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rapture 1

ILG, I couldn't agree with you more. That's what they are doing. There were only 20 there this morning, and 6 "the good guys" will not be back.

Good for them.

Sister Alvear · #**285** 07-15-2012, 03:13 PM

This thread causes me to cry...

Sam · #**286** 07-15-2012, 03:26 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Sister Alvear

This thread causes me to cry...

I don't know the people involved but it's sad to hear of a thriving church degenerating to nothing.

Many, many years ago Tom and Horace Skirvin (they were brothers) preached the Jesus' name message in southern Indiana and northern Kentucky. It is my understanding that several churches were established in the area that still continue (although there have been some fights and splits) to this day as UPC, PAW, and independent churches in those areas of Kentucky and Indiana. I've preached in a couple of them maybe 40 years ago. Horace died as an old man in 1958 or 59. His brother Tom outlived him by several years. I've preached in the Warsaw, KY church for Bro. Tom a few times maybe as long ago as when I was single, can't remember. Well, Tom got old and the church just died around him. He passed it on after his death to a PAW pastor and it finished dying with the PAW pastor. There was no outreach, just sitting there waiting for people to come. The PAW pastor died and his wife was about the only member left. It is my understanding that she sold the building and there are apartments built there now.

HolyFire · #**287** 07-15-2012, 03:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rapture 1

ILG, I couldn't agree with you more. That's what they are doing. There were only 20 there this morning, and 6 "the good guys" will not be back.

Ichabod...and don't be surprised if judgement happens in plain sight. I don't say this lightly. I hope for reconciliation and a move of God though. Scary situation, especially if all of this is true.

ILG · #**288** 07-15-2012, 04:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HolyFire

Ichabod...and don't be surprised if judgement happens in plain sight. I don't say this lightly. I hope for reconciliation and a move of God though. Scary situation, especially if all of this is true.

One of the people that sued us died towards the end. I always felt like that person was more of a victim though than a perpetrator.

Rapture 1 · #**289** 07-15-2012, 05:02 PM

I wish this wasn't true. There have a lot of tears shed. The 89 yrs old christian lady that I spoke of earlier said the daughter spoke to her for the first time ever after sunday school and said, "I love you and this isn't over yet". The lady left then and dosn't plan on going back. She said one thing that reallly bothers her is, that she will not get to have her funeral there like her husband did. She and the others will be okay tho, they have God on their side, and feels peace with themselves. There is a great UPC church about 25 miles from there that has a great Pastor, and run about 800. A very religious, conservative, with standards like we grew up in. There isn't any ALJC churches in that area, which is sad.

StillStanding · #**290** 07-15-2012, 07:28 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Rapture 1

I wish this wasn't true. There have a lot of tears shed. The 89 yrs old christian lady that I spoke of earlier said the daughter spoke to her for the first time ever after sunday school and said, "I love you and this isn't over yet". The lady left then and dosn't plan on going back. She said one thing that reallly bothers her is, that she will not get to have her funeral there like her husband did. She and the others will be okay tho, they have God on their side, and feels peace with themselves. There is a great UPC church about 25 miles from there that has a great Pastor, and run about 800. A very religious, conservative, with standards like we grew up in. There isn't any ALJC churches in that area, which is sad.

This breaks my heart! After 50+ years, she feels like a stranger in her own land. Surely they'll let her and other loyal and faithful saints for so many years have their funeral there at that church!

A church that ran over 300 in regular attendance at it's peak, is now down to less than 20 people! How sad! I fear that it's headed toward the same outcome as the church in Sam's story. The "invitation only" vote is now irrelevant. They won! The vote is fixed and the local preacher becomes the pastor, but the pastor of what? 18 people?

Maybe this story will serve as an example for other elderly pastors of the need to step down before their health gets so bad and they drag the church down with them. Maybe this can serve as a example of what can possibly happen if a church becomes a family business or kingdom. It's so very very sad!