Quote:
Originally Posted by live4him
Well i have a question to all the ladies, whether you are a con or a lib or ultra con, if or when you changed from being a conservative to a lib or other, what was the first thing you went and did when you changed churches or quit going to church, standard wise,
did you cut your hair first?
did you wear pants and shorts?
did you put makeup on?
what was it that you did differently,
and no i do not plan to change but i am tired of people trying to measure your spirituality by what you wear and what you look like,
i will not change my dress or other, but i am a conservative, i am just tired of being measured
please your opinions
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live4him,
Life itself is a process of growing and changing. When my mother came into the Pentecostal church/way of life, I was 7 years old. I had just went forward at a Southern Baptist Church and gave my life to God. I was Baptized in the name of the father, son, and Holy Spirit at my request.
My mother had been a professional dance instructor at Arthur Murrays as well as a model and cosmetologist. The UPCI church we found our way to was ultra conservative. Mom loved God with all her heart and willingly gave up the pants, shorts, and even the makeup, but she would never let any of her daughters grow up without freshly plucked eyebrows, shaved legs & underarms, and without nice fitting and pricey clothing. We were always the best dressed girls in our home church. We all had beautiful and thick hair and had the most elaborate of the UPCI hairdoes of the time and I could still fix them if I had to.
When I went to Bible College [JCM], I was exposed to other church
'standards'. I always considered myself a rung above most of the girls there in
'holiness' 
. I was appalled at the slits in skirts, the cut bangs, and side curls, the makeup, and the illicit sex that was ramphant at the time [1975-1978]. Although I was hurt and disillusioned by what I saw, God spoke to me through Bro. A.D. Spears and throughout my JCM days I held on to the way I was taught.
Through early marriage when all around me I saw Mary Kay, pants & shorts, and competition in money, rings, furs, ect...I still kept myself free from this, for the most part. As a Pastor's wife in UPCI I had to hold myself to a
higher standard..which was not difficult because that was the way I was raised.
The changes came when I experienced church trouble for the first time [I was not raised in a Preacher's home, [My father was an alcoholic and my mother a religious fanatic], and the bad spirits, the hatred, the contention, and the backbiting and judging was more than I could bear. For the first time I saw the hypocrisy of it all.
Holiness standards on the outside but sin and evil lurking on the inside.
After resigning from a church I loved, a move to Florida, the church split that asked us to return and pastor them, and then the being ostrasized by peers, family, and friends within the UPCI...I decided I had had enough.
1. The first thing I did was decided to have no more to do with any of it and took a job outside the church. I still kept the
'holiness standards',
2. The second things I did was have an affair, I still kept the
'holiness standards'.
3. The third thing I did was repent, I was shamed, embarrassed, and mortified because I always thought I was so much more
'holy' than those I had judged and criticized. I still kept the
'holiness standards'. I confessed to my husband and the church board who readily forgave me although it was most difficult for my husband and his family. His father counseled him to get rid of his 'Jezebel wife' and he would have a 'ministry'.
4. I had a car accident which was nearly fatal but God raised me up. I have shared this testimony again and again on AFF so I will not belabor the details. Aside from wearing cullottes [leg in a cast and in and out of a wheelchair and physical therapy] and eye cream to cover the eye flaw [my eyebrow and lid was laid open by a cut received from the steering wheel]..I continued to keep the
'holiness standards'.
5. When I got back on my feet, after 6 months in and out of the hospital, therapy, and rehabilitation...I was feeling so good to be able to get back to work and get back to my responsibilities at the church...still keeping the
'holiness standards'. I was let go from my job so they didn't have to pay a workman's comp claim, and my husband filed for divorce without my knowledge, and I was still keeping the
'holiness standards'.
6. While we were separated and I had the children with me, going to a UPCI church and receiving counseling from Rev. Richard Martin, and friends and family were praying that God would restore our marriage...my husband was dating one of the girls from our church. My children are the ones that told me. Then when I went to pick the children up at the church day care, the daycare director asked me what I thought about my husband's engagement? I said, "He is still married last time I checked, what do you think about his adultery?" I was still keeping the
'holiness standards'.
7. The day the divorce was final...I went and had my ears pierced, I resigned from my church and moved to another city, put my children in a UPCI high school, and sat in that UPCI church and listened for two years about how not holding the
'holiness standards' would send you to hell, and how that being divorce disqualified a person from being used by God, and how that we didn't need an education to be used by God.
8. The day my ex got remarried, 9 months after the divorce was final, I went out with family and friends and had a bit too much to drink to celebrate the death of a marriage and ministry. I stopped keeping
'holiness standards'.
To be continued...sometime....
To many, a woman in pants is as bad as prostitution.
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