Actually understand what you are saying here. I think that once I got to where I no longer worried about what others thought or said about me, and started learning to live for GOD on my own merit, I was able to actually learn to feel I was saved.
Not worrying about rather you please a pastor or a board or other members is hard. Since you go to church with them. You may no longer be able to paricipate in a ministry that you love because you 'buck' the system. Those are hard things to face.
The thing is once you decide to serve God for yourself and learn what HE wants from you the happier you will be. Rather in your current church or in another. Just know that others have been and are currently at this same cross road in life. Some make the bad choice of leaving truth and others learn to find out more about truth. Does not mean you will change anything about the way you walk with God but that you no longer worry about what others say about your walk with God.
Will be praying for you and any others that are going through this process.
My parents were the type of people that were the first ones to church, and the last to leave. They were in the Apostolic faith for several years. They raised their family in that way.
But when us kids became teenagers, my mom and dad started slipping in their commitment to the church and God. They eventually left the Apostolic faith and didn't go to church anywhere for many years.
I stayed in church even after my parents left. I never understood why they left it. I was angry at them over it. Years later, I finally got up the nerve and asked my parents why they made the choice to leave. They both said that they never felt saved. They felt like it didn't matter what they did, it was never enough.
It didn't matter if they were baptized, talked in tongues and tithed. It didn't matter if they were committed and faithful. They were always led to believe they needed to do more. They left the church because they got tired of feeling defeated. That they weren't good enough. That they were always just one little mistake away from death and Hell.
There was no joy in their lives.
For a long time I thought they said these things as an excuse to sin. But here I am, years later, and I feel the same way now they did back then.
It's never enough. No matter what I do, it's never enough. Someone is always standing by to tell me my service is not enough, my giving is not enough and the way I dress is not enough.
Someone is sizing up my kids to see if they measure up. Someone is judging my productivity. Someone is gauging my worship. And no matter how well I do, it's never enough.
There's no joy in this way.
I don't have that problem...and I am Apostolic. My salvation rests in Jesus, what He did, by faith.
__________________ Let it be understood that Apostolic Friends Forum is an Apostolic Forum.
Apostolic is defined on AFF as:
There is One God. This one God reveals Himself distinctly as Father, Son and Holy Ghost.
The Son is God himself in a human form or "God manifested in the flesh" (1Tim 3:16)
Every sinner must repent of their sins.
That Jesus name baptism is the only biblical mode of water baptism.
That the Holy Ghost is for today and is received by faith with the initial evidence of speaking in tongues.
The saint will go on to strive to live a holy life, pleasing to God.
My parents were the type of people that were the first ones to church, and the last to leave. They were in the Apostolic faith for several years. They raised their family in that way.
But when us kids became teenagers, my mom and dad started slipping in their commitment to the church and God. They eventually left the Apostolic faith and didn't go to church anywhere for many years.
I stayed in church even after my parents left. I never understood why they left it. I was angry at them over it. Years later, I finally got up the nerve and asked my parents why they made the choice to leave. They both said that they never felt saved. They felt like it didn't matter what they did, it was never enough.
It didn't matter if they were baptized, talked in tongues and tithed. It didn't matter if they were committed and faithful. They were always led to believe they needed to do more. They left the church because they got tired of feeling defeated. That they weren't good enough. That they were always just one little mistake away from death and Hell.
There was no joy in their lives.
For a long time I thought they said these things as an excuse to sin. But here I am, years later, and I feel the same way now they did back then.
It's never enough. No matter what I do, it's never enough. Someone is always standing by to tell me my service is not enough, my giving is not enough and the way I dress is not enough.
Someone is sizing up my kids to see if they measure up. Someone is judging my productivity. Someone is gauging my worship. And no matter how well I do, it's never enough.
There's no joy in this way.
Wow.
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I've gone and done it now! I'm on Facebook!!!
It comes down to determining our motivation. Jesus said "The pure in heart for they shall see God." If we really want to see God then our lives must be lived by right/clean/good motives. If I'm living for Pastor, Mom & Dad, Spouse, friend, employer, or whoever before or more than living to Love and please Jesus my motives are suspect.
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Psa 119:165 (KJV) 165 Great peace have they which love thy law: and nothing shall offend them.
"Do not believe everthing you read on the internet" - Abe Lincoln
I have been where you are at. I would suggest that you find a good moderate church. It is my prayer that you don't throw out the baby with the bathwater.
Satan doesn't have to wear out the saints of the most high. Many preachers do a good nuff job!
It gets old, feeling like you're always dangling over the pits of hell. You're told that you don't pray enough.... don't study enough. God forbid you miss a service because you were ill... if the rapture would have happened * gasp * you would have been left behind.
You have to decide that you are going to quit walking on egg shells... quit trying to please everyone, including the pastor. Build a relationship with Jesus Christ through prayer and the reading of the word. HE is a rewarder of those that diligently seek him.
Moniker I think most of us have felt what you're feeling right now. I can only speak from my experience, but it seems like some of the preachers I've sat under feel like if they tell you about the assurance of salvation that a believer in Christ can feel, they've given you a license to sin and do wrong. In fact, a person who see's God as a loving, but Holy father, is free to serve him with a deeper commitment and affection for him.
When you admit your need of a Savior because of your sin and call on him, you can then rest in him. His Holy Spirit brings an inner strength like Ephesians 3:16 talks about and with that strength you can then live in obedience to His word and find fulfillment in Him.
We can never DO enough. It's a futile attempt and sadly why people like your parents never felt like they'd attained. Thankfully, we don't have too though. Just remember Salvation can't be earned only ACCEPTED! Paul said our righteousness is as filthy rags anyway.
Legalism is a joy snatcher. We all know it, and Paul knew it.
Romans 4:5But people are declared righteous because of the faith, not because of their work.
He started in Galations 1:6,7 by saying: I am shocked that you are turning away so soon from God, who called you to himself through the loving mercy of Christ.[c] You are following a different way that pretends to be the Good News, but is not the Good News at all. You are being fooled by those who deliberately twist the truth concerning Christ...
He continues in Galations 2:16 Yet we know that a person is made right with God by faith in Jesus Christ, not by obeying the law. And we have believed in Christ Jesus, so that we might be made right with God because of our faith in Christ, not because we have obeyed the law. For no one will ever be made right with God by obeying the law...
He finishes up his thought in Galations 2:19, 20 by proclaiming the truth that 19 For when I tried to keep the law, it condemned me. So I died to the law—I stopped trying to meet all its requirements—so that I might live for God. 20 My old self has been crucified with Christ.[e] It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.
No need to feel like you're coming up short because you're not doing enough. He's already done it all and our job is accepting and living in the victory Christ purchased for his kids.
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In essentials, unity. In non-essentials, liberty. In all things, charity. Augustine
Hybrid Mode
