Any "Are You Welcome" tests out there?

[MawMaw]

Originally Posted by NewbieMisfits

You must not have read my post lol We LUV this UPC Church!

So glad you've found a church that you can attend
and live for Jesus!

[Dichotomy Girl]

Originally Posted by Titus2woman

Your churches must be a lot more liberal than ours, where a pastor approached a visitor we had invited on his third visit... draped his arm over the fellow's shoulders, and within my husband's hearing, said "You see all those good men out there?... You notice what they don't have?... Yes, a mustache... and next time I see you, I don't want you to have one either." ... And Rodney, after over 20 years of his adult life wearing facial hair came back to church the next service clean shaven... Of course a couple services later he disappeared and was never heard from again... I wonder what was asked of him that time...

I think the worst thing I was told was required of me as a newbie was this following statement. "If you really loved Jesus you wouldn't want to smoke"

I didn't really know what to do with that! I could try to physically prevent myself from smoking, I could WANT to not want to smoke, but I didn't seem to have any control over the actual desire (both physically and psychologically). And sense there was about 6 months between my starting to attend church and receiving the Holy Ghost, it's not like I had any special power either.

I think it mostly left me feeling like a failure. I obviously didn't REALLY love Jesus, and that's probably why I didn't get the Holy Ghost either, what a loser..... (or so I felt).

For the record, I did quit after about 3 months, but during the first major trial in my life (about 3 years later) I started again for a time. It's now been almost 8 years since I quit, and though it's not constant, I still occasionally have dreams where I smoke (and enjoy it immensely).

So that was probably the absolute WORST thing to tell new convert me, because I am so like a recovering addict, the desire never went away, and the only thing that stops me in times of great stress is that I KNOW one cigarette would turn into a pack a day habit in no time.

[RandyWayne]

Originally Posted by NewbieMisfits

End of day Sunday will be 1 month visiting the Church we found, (our first Apo' Church aside from a school I went to as a teen).


So the question comes... how does one know if they are actually welcome?
(we don't wish to be those that are not)

Any good ways to test this to actually know?

We've been on a church hunt for years now. There is one we attend semi-regularly but we don't consider it 'our' church by any means. A few times we've been asked to visit a UPC and we nearly did but ducked out at the last minute in each case. I told my wife that the moment we step foot into one we will meet genuinely friendly people (which will be so different from just about every other church we've visited so far) in terms of them coming up to greet us with by smiles, and probably inviting us to lunch on the spot. The issues will start within 1-2 months as we fail to attend every service and and my wife continues to wear pants and shorts. While I am sure that there are some smaller UC churches in the Phoenix valley, I do not know of any personally and the ones I DO know of actually allow their members to own TV's, attend MLB and NFL games (our teams NEED the help here!) and for the guys to wear shorts. I guess in some ways the UPC overall has come a long ways since I attended regularly during the 80's, although I will argue that 2 holiness "standards" is just as bad as 20, so even though they are more lax I have the same issues with them now as I did 25 years ago.

[NewbieMisfits]

Originally Posted by RandyWayne

although I will argue that 2 holiness "standards" is just as bad as 20, so even though they are more lax I have the same issues with them now as I did 25 years ago.

Hope Im not interrupting berry picking


I understand holiness standards, as if the Menno's had a 100, this UPS Church has 10.

If you do not go & see, how will you know if you have the same issues?

Surely not wanting to put on modest atire is stopping you from finding a home? I'm not gonna preach to you (who am I to do so?) but no Church is perfect like everything else in life, and just like everything else you have to compromise this-for-that.

[RandyWayne]

Originally Posted by NewbieMisfits

Hope Im not interrupting berry picking


I understand holiness standards, as if the Menno's had a 100, this UPS Church has 10.

If you do not go & see, how will you know if you have the same issues?

Surely not wanting to put on modest atire is stopping you from finding a home? I'm not gonna preach to you (who am I to do so?) but no Church is perfect like everything else in life, and just like everything else you have to compromise this-for-that.

No, not wanting to put on costumes is. And it is not a question of how MUCH a costume is put on, but anything is "too much". If the ONLY standard was something small like "all members must wear this pin on their collars" it would be too much.

[Esaias]

Originally Posted by NewbieMisfits

True on the conformity, we're honestly a very close match socially, at this point in time at least....

Just for interest...
Top 3 nonconformity issues that led to friction with the Menno's....
1. 24/7 Prayer covering
2. Miss Misfits CCW (Other non-defensive related areas)
3. Working on Sundays = had the job before we started attending (demanding every Sunday off = termination, from a boss who was Jewish?) and we just can't not pay the bills.


Top 3 nonconformity issues that led to friction with the Baptist...
1. Failing to be not-overactive (dead) in the Church < I know this sounds odd
2. Failure in keeping our mouths shut over Church's direction and insane financial decisions.
3. Failure to make our hearts cold enough to be accepted socially in their "non-conformist" conformity. <<<< read it 3x and it makes sense LoL



Top 3 nonconformity issue with the Apo's after 3.5 weeks....
1. Nothing ( and this is after we both openly discussed this for 5minutes+
2. Same as above
3. Same as above

Don't worry... the conformity issues will arise sooner or later.

By the way, the sabbath is the seventh day, not sunday, so your job poses no problem with God.

[Esaias]

Originally Posted by NewbieMisfits

Why are we not? We do not openly feel (based on our personal relationship with God) that literally anyone can repent and be saved. There are evils here, there are those that will indeed suffer eternal damnation regardless.

So we are not, as we don't feel one can simply have an honest thought & be Christian. We feel this requires good works, discipline, respect, and a at least a life-cumulative positive balance of good-vs-evil .....
Only then do we feel we can honestly begin to be saved....

To become a Christian requires a person to come to God honestly and sincerely, with humilty and genuine sorrow for sins.

God promises to empower such a one to be a manifestation of God's Eternal Life in this world.

Please don't confuse a lack of faith with 'humilty in not wanting to boast about salvation'.

It isn't 'Gee, look at me, I'm SAAAAAVED!' it's more like 'Gee, look at God, He chose to save such a worm as I'.

[KWSS1976]

We are fixing to test the waters leaving our UPC church of over 10 years and see whats out there? We are going to start out at an Assemblies of God church and go from there

[Esaias]

Originally Posted by KWSS1976

We are fixing to test the waters leaving our UPC church of over 10 years and see whats out there? We are going to start out at an Assemblies of God church and go from there

Did God tell you to shop around and find a church that you like? Just wondering, being serious here, not trying to debate or anything.

[KWSS1976]

Acually my wife who is a Sunday school teacher for over 10 years in the UPC church we attend, approached me with the idea and Pentecost is all she knows..I think the whole dress code thing is weighing on her, plus its not a big church and not very many kids in our sunday school classes for our kids to be with..