Burnout

[CC1]

Originally Posted by Jason Badejo

Any ever experienced severe job related burnout? How did you deal with it? Change jobs? Take a different job maing less money/responsibility? I feel like I'm at the end of my rope (professionally speaking). I read an article on wiki about burnout that speaks about with the exception of a change in values/depression type stuff-I feel like my faith in God has kept me level headed, but mentally/emotionally I am tired, drained, unproductive, and ready to give up and move on. But if I do that I throw all stability out the window, I'd have to move out of my house, find a new job, would probably efect where I go to church, be a huge paycut no matter where I go, etc.

I'm wondering what others have done? Did you leave a job you enjoyed because you got burned out? If you did, did you ever regret it, or were you glad to move on?

PS-yes I've prayed about it. Been praying, and will continue to pray. If you want to pray for me also I won't ask you not to. But in particular I'm asking whose dealt with this before, and did getting away from it help you or hurt you (did you have regrets) in the long run. Especially if someone left a job and immediately saw their income cut in half, if you did that, was it worth it?

I think StillStanding's advice was good. I would say the first thing to do is don't do anything out of frustration. The old saying about the grass not being greener on the other side is usually true.

Whatever frustrations you have on your current job might be the same or worse if you leave and have to take a job paying less. Then you will have that same frustration plus money problems.

I faced your same situation about 15 years ago and actually had my wife tell me she was with me to make a drastic move that would have meanat much less income and living in a small apartment with children vs the home we were in. Just knowing my wife was with me if I decided to do it kind of freed my mind and when I thought it through I knew that I had to live my life with my kids first and I was not going to impact their lives in a negative way by bringing economic hardship to them. It was not like I would be spending more time with them as I probably would have had to get two jobs to pursue the dream I had.

As soon as I resolved to do what was best for my family and not me personally God opened a door that meant a move to a cool place and a considerable increase in income. I was glad I did not do anything rash in that year I wrestled with what you are now.

[Jason B]

Originally Posted by The Lemon

Jason,

Not that you haven't done this already but sit down and make a list of pro's and con's.

I have been at the same job for over 14yrs now - I make good money and it is only 4-miles from my home. I have thought seriously on a few occasions about doing something different. I love to work with my hands fixing and making things. I do get to do some of that on my current job, but mostly it is office related.

That all being said, I have a wife and two children and I feel that the financial stability is a blessing to my home - also after 14-years I get a substantial amount of vacation, which I use to spend quality time with my family.

The list will help you identify the positives and negatives and draw a clearer picture as to the motivation for change. Bless you Bro.!

Thanks Lemon. I haven't done this on paper, but in my mind several times. There are a lot more pros than cons, really there are just 2 big cons 1)my job consumes most of my time and 2)stress. The stress isn't a constant sometimes it comes in big waves, and then at other times I fell good for weeks at a time. But the demand on my time is constant. Beside that the pros are, like you, 1) I live extremely close to my job. My boss helped me to find a home less than 1/2 mile from my job (used to live 45 minutes away) and it is the nicest home, nicest neighborhood I've ever lived in. 2)I enjoy being "the boss", not because of "power" but because it is a great opportunity to help people. There is no better feeling (secularly speaking) than giving someone a raise, telling them they are getting a promotion, handing out bonus checks, or even giving a job to someone that no one else will hire (usually because of criminal record). 3)I love not having a schedule. While its true that I am working 6 days, if I go in at 6am 8am or 9am no one says "you're late". I go to work when I want, and to a certain degree I can take off when I want. Which sounds great, but in reality its not as good as it sounds because whether I go in at 6 or 9, I have a solid 10hrs of work ahead of me, and if I take off a certain day, or leave early, then I just put myself further behind. Still overall its a plus. 4)Financial stability. I'm making nearly 3 times more than I ever made anywhere else. 5)I never have to work Sundays, unless I want to, and when I do I can work after church.
6)I've been here 8 years, and the vacation time is another plus.

Originally Posted by StillStanding

Words of advice given to me years ago: Don't close the door behind you until the door in front of you is opened.

Good advice. I've always said don't quit a job until you have another one, and talked about foolish people I have who quit (usually w/o notice), then attempt to come back after a couple of months because they can't find another job, or realize they didn't have it so bad. I don't want to find myself rowing in that same boat.

Originally Posted by NewbieMisfits

One idea would be to get trained in another field/area with your job. Just tell your employer whats going on and see if you can learn something new, or do something new, either while holding your current position or not.

I did this once and actually got a small raise

Ironically this is what has kind of led me into burnout. I started with the company at 24yrs old as a dept mgr. A month later I became a supervisor (sometime called district manager) for that department. But we were going through a lot of store managers, so I convinced my employer to give me a chance at store manager (even though I had zero mgmt. experience outside of my dept) and they did, but I was still responsible for the district mgr duties of my dept. Then I noticed another dept struggling, didn't have a supervisror, so I offered to supervise that department for all of our locations. All this happened within a year and a half to 2 yrs. So I'm 26, and doing the job of 2 district mgrs., plus a store manager, really 3 peoples jobs at the time. Then I get promoted from store mgr to asst gen mgr (but still keep the 2 depts. I'm responsible for), so then I begin to be involved with all aspects of the operation. After a couple more years, and some shake ups, I end up as General Mgr, and oversee essentially all day to day operations, and still am heavily involved in many of the duties I picked up while being asst gen mgr. (Previously Gen Mgr was responsibly for store level ops, and as Asst GM I was responsible for advertising, buying, some pricing, etc). So now, I got all the responsibilities I ever asked for, and now I'm wishing I had some people to delegate them to. I've tried, and continue to try, but to this point most of the people we've tried in supervision haven't worked out, I'm hoping for better success from recently promoted supervisors, but still have 2 vacant positions. I used to want to prove myself, but now I just want some help. I've even put in a standing resignation, i.e. I'm willing to resign at any time if the company feels it has someone qualified for the job.

Originally Posted by houston

He's at the top with no room for growth.

The only growth I more I could have would to be an heir. Only the owners son is above me. They both treat me well (its the stress and time demand of the job that gets me), but I can't do anything more. I'm looking to do less, or at the very least, just do the job of one person.

Originally Posted by Nitehawk013

To quote Highlander, "I have something to say. It is better to burn out, than to fade away!".

I've heard it said (I think by a now famous missionary to China) "Let me burn out for thee, O God." That one of the things weighing on me. I give so much of my time to something that in and of itself is useless. God is my witness, I don't care about the money or material things. But at the same time, I have 2 children and as Lemon said, a responsibility to provide them a stable home, which this job easily does. My kids are 10 & 12yrs old. If they weren't at home anymore, I think I'd have long since downsized house, cars, and financial liabilities. So in a way I'm torn between providing well for them, and wanting to spend time with them. (I'll get on the religious aspect later). I think, "what if I quit, I'll have more time, but will we have any money to do anything?" What if we have time, but just sit around at the house on all my days off because I can't afford extra expense on gas, food, or anything that costs to do? Right now at least when I do take time off, I can cover anything they want to do (locally and within reason-I'm not saying I can afford to go on big vacations at will or anything like that). But, back to the burn out comment, I'd rather burn out for God. I'd rather give the majority of my time to Him, then to my family, and third to work. That's my priorities, but my time mgmt. doesn't always fit, and that's partly because my standard workweek for the last 7 years has been 6 days almost every week, plus taking work home 2 or 3 nights a week, sometimes 4 or 5 nights a week. Its a job that literally never ends, you're never caught up, it is never completed, not even for a day. Its constant, and unless you worked 20hrs/day 6 days a week, you really can't even stay caught up....so I don't. I try to limit my hours to 55, sometimes I've worked only about 50, many times I'm probably about 75.

[Jason B]

Originally Posted by Titus2woman

I've been on my current job 14 years... The job before this one for 8 with two brief (couple of months each) jobs between. Essentially I'm doing the same work in different places with some slight variations.

When I quit the first job in this field I was totally burned out and wanted a change. Going into another field was not an option because I needed the money I was making where I had education and experience invested. My first move was out of the frying pan and into the fire. I went from a place where I was burned out but had good hours and was trusted and respected to workring for a nut that paid better for a reason... putting up with him and his crazy wife in the office. The work schedule was erratic, management was unprofessional...and at one point my check wouldn't cash... That was the end for me. Then I took a job in a huge corporation... lot's of being treated like a number and micromanaging.

So I felt fortunate to land where I am now. In my 14 years here I've had some moments of burnout... I just wait them out. I liken it to how long term marriage can feel... some days are diamonds and some are dust but if I am giving what I can there is always a way to eventually find satisfaction again.

Looking back I would have been better off to have stayed in my first job... I'd have nearly 25 years of seniority now and would be nearing possible early retirement. Instead I took and spent my 401K during a period of unemployment and lower wage earning after I left and had to start over... Now I will need to work probably an additional 10 or 15 years to make up for that.

If you are making a good wage and have good job security in the current climate you have gold... Maybe a change of attitude and gratitude would help?

This, like MTD and CC1s post are really helpful to me. It seems that the consensus is, you're not always benefitted by leaving. All 3 of you kind of describe what I feel, and it helps to hear how things turned out for yall.

I'm not in a fearful mode, like "what if I quit this job will my life fall apart", because I believe that God will be with me doing whatever, as He has also been with yall. In the UPC sometime there is so much hocus pocus about God's will, one can be worried they may move to a house that isn't God's will, buy a car that isn't God's will, work a job that isn't God's will, etc. (That was the mindset of my first pastor, and it affected my thinking for several years-it wasn't until about 2008 I began to realize that even if I did something, and made a mistake God wasn't going to punish me for not being in the right place that was "His will" I've since grown in my thinking to understand that God's will is for me to live my life for Him, and he gives me the freedom to live, work, drive what I want to, so long as He comes first in my life. There isn't a special house, car, and job that I must do, or else God can't bless me.....but yes, that's how I used to think. Probably wouldn't have admitted to it verbally, but psychologically it caused me some mental anguish.

BUT, now my only fear is....what if I leave, then after the stress and pressure goes away I always live with regrets? What if I regret leaving in 2 weeks, or 2 months, or 2 years? If I left, I'm pretty sure I could even come back, but it would probably never be the same again. The owner of the company has such confidence in me, and has helped me do so many things in my life, if I did leave, and try to come back, I'm sure they'd have a place for me, but I'm fairly sure our relationships would never be the same again.

But posts like these are helping me see the other side. Really the greatest concern is the unknown.

[Jason B]

Originally Posted by Titus2woman

I had yet another thought for you Jason... Have you considered starting your own business? I did that during a slump time at my husbands present job when he was sure he wanted out sooner rather than later... We bought a farm and began farming, using our higher earning potential to finance it.

We have just gotten to the point that Don could 'retire' to the farm as we're in a position to ramp up to replacing his income. That was a real possibility recently when he had surgery and it looked like he would not make it back before the end of his FMLA caused him to lose his job. Two things happened with that... We realized that we really do have the security of the farm and Don realized that he values his job and is not ready to leave it... More of the ebb and flow of burnout... right now the tide is out for him and he'd like to work a few more years.

Maybe start something small at home, involve family if you can (or make room for them when they are older) and just see where it goes... If it's something you are passionate about it may give you enough stress relief to see you happy again at work if just for the money... and if it takes off you could be the next Duck Commander

Interesting. I've thought about it, but it was a brief thought. I'm still really young (just turned 32) and I don't have the assets or capital to start a business, or the time. And after being so involved in my current business, I don't think I want to deal with all the corporate taxes, licenses, unemployment hearings, etc that go with it. And more than anything, I just don't have the time.

Duck Commander.......Hmmmmm....

[Jason B]

Originally Posted by Ferd

Jason, I’ve been thinking a lot about this thread. You have been on my heart for some reason. I’ve prayed for you.

Thank Ferd. This really means a lot to me, because I'm nothing more than an internet persona to you with a profile pic, but you read my anguish, and care enough to remember me in your prayers. Thank you. I don't take it lightly.

Originally Posted by Ferd

I do have some words for you. I don’t know if it will help or not… Believe it or not, I just completed a series teaching on something that kind of follows this subject.

It all started with a sermon “Things that don’t exist” The point was, there is no such thing as a passive Christian and there really is no such thing as a passive sinner.

We are either working toward the goal (Paul’s “Mark for the high calling…”) or we are working at cross prepossesses. That lack of working toward the goal leaves us at cross purposes with God and we end up frustrated.

Paul talks about the “Old Man” and how we put him in the grave etc. What I find with most Christians is, they put down the old man, but often hold onto the thought process, goals, desires, intent of the old man. Not realizing that God intends the new man to have new ideas driving toward what God intends for us. Holding onto the desires and goals of the old man while being driven by the heart of the new man leads again to frustration. We work at cross purposes with ourselves!

Sin is the same. The bible talks about the WORKS of the flesh. Sin is WORK. It seems easy but it always leaves us empty. It is akin to taking a shovel and digging a giant hole in the ground. It is work and in the end, it is exhausting.

That led me to look for an answer. In the end I came up with something really simple. LIVE ON PURPOSE. Be intentional about your life!

Do you know where you are going? If you don’t, then you are just floating around allowing life to happen to you. And believe it or not, that is vastly MORE exhausting than WORKING toward the goals that God intends! Again, there is no such thing as a passive Christian.
I think in some measure your burnout is a result of this very thing. I mean no insult here. I came to this because of my own experience. My own burnout caused by much the same thing. Maybe I am projecting… If so, please forgive my intrusion, but I really believe in the commonality of our shared experience and if something is going on in one person’s life, chances are, it is common to mankind.

So what to do? Well first decide to really “run the race” that Paul talked about. Run. Really commit yourself to finding out what the goals, desires, intent and way of thinking God intends for YOU. Dig in and figure that out.

Know also that your personal life is not separate from your spiritual life! Rather, it is an extension of it. So if your personal life is not fulfilling, then maybe you have not connected the two.

Any race begins in the starting blocks. The starting blocks require the runner to go to their knees. Start there. In prayer. Now I am not suggesting you aren’t already doing that but I would be remiss to assume and not say it.

Pray. A lot. Then pray some more.

Then from that place start working on what you believe God intends for you. Then develop a plan. Do you have a 1 year plan for your life? I mean one that incorporates what God intends for you spiritually and how your personal life helps attain those goals?
You need that. You need a 5 year plan. You need a 10 year plan. And you need to take the baby steps to get you where you want to be.

You cannot quit a job because you don’t like it. But you can begin to prepare yourself for something that is fulfilling. You may find that by adjusting your goals to those that are from God, you become more satisfied with what you are doing in your personal life. When you see how it brings you into the place you need to be spiritually, how it helps fulfill that part of your life, you may find a better outlook.

OR you may find that were you are at work is just all wrong. Don’t quit working. That will just frustrate everything. Instead, begin to change the things about yourself that bring you where you need to be. Start learning new skills. Skills that are in line with your new goals. Start working on understanding what you are SUPPOSED to be doing. Then build a plan to get there.

Working toward something that has the stamp of approval by God Almighty will absolutely change your outlook and rejuvenate you.


One last thing. I am going to start teaching Purpose Driven Life this Sunday. It is a good fit for the subject at hand. Get the book if you don’t have it. Go thru it.

Just START Bro! I believe in you!

Good words.

[CC1]

Jason,

One caveat to my advice and experience is that if I were a young single man with no debt and was in the situation I probably would make a change.

My biggest regret in life is probably not following what I really wanted to do when I was young before I had a family and those financial responsibilities. Once you have that you have to put your family first.

[Jason B]

Originally Posted by NewbieMisfits

Another option is go volunteer for a few weekends.... Find a group that goes out to homeless camps, we did & you will get a new outlook & appreciate life (even your boring job) SOOOooooo much more

I'd love to do something like this. Actually one of my desires for having some time off (going to a 5 day workweek) is so I can start a year round food pantry at our church. We did a one time thing at Christmas, but I organized it and helped oversee it. The church is small, and if we are going to start something like that, it would require my time, of which I am more than willing to give.

I also go preach at the county jail on various Thursday evenings, and that is rewarding. Though almost every single time I am working up until time to go to the jail, and throughout the day I battle with mental exhaustion, and think, maybe I should just call them and tell them I am working late tonight and cant make it (like I said in another post, my work never ends, and so many nights I works up to or past 7pm, which is the time I have to be at the jail to go through security/check in.) But then after I get there and preach, I am so encouraged, I NEVER regret going. In fact, I many times walk into the jail drained and exhausted, and walk out refreshed and energized. I've told my wife, "I go to minister to them, but its like they are ministering to me and they don't even realize it."

Really all of this intensified when I came back from vacation (first week of May) to find out I was now going to be the preacher at the church I attend. (I'm not the pastor, technically that church hasn't had a pastor since its inception in Feb 2012, but the responsibilities are the exact same). I was already wanting to get some more free time before that happened anyway, but since then it is really been getting to me. Feels like I'm trying to do everything, but I don't want to do everything. The struggle is, its the job that pays the bills, and takes care of the needs of my family. Its the church and work with people (both the lost in outreach and the saved in their growth with Christ) that is really what I want to give my life to (Ferd this is also a response to your post-in that I'm torn 2 ways). I don't feel like I don't have purpose, I feel like I can't give the time and effort I want to to the church, unless I neglect my family (because work is a necessity right now, either where I am or somewhere else). I think that's where my rub is.

[Jason B]

Originally Posted by CC1

Jason,

One caveat to my advice and experience is that if I were a young single man with no debt and was in the situation I probably would make a change.

My biggest regret in life is probably not following what I really wanted to do when I was young before I had a family and those financial responsibilities. Once you have that you have to put your family first.

Right. This is clear to me. I've got a meeting in the morning, and I'm in good spirits hoping we are going to get something resolved.

I've been pretty open on this thread, and I'm posting with my real name, so theres the possibility someone could come across it from work or church (but I think its unlikely anyone will find it here on AFF). That said I don't regret what I've shared, and I appreciate everyones feedback. Expressing myself has also been helpful for me. Sometime an outlet to vent helps.

[CC1]

Jason,

The scary thing about using your real name as a screen name on any forum is that a google search somebody does for your name will pull up your posts.

I just did a google search of your name and the third result was a thread here you have posted in!

[houston]

Can you hire someone to lighten your work load?