So Mich.... - Page 3

Dichotomy Girl · #21 05-10-2014, 06:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ILG

Mich, how old were you when you got into the UPC and how many years were you there?

Ah, my story is weird and on and off....

My first time I went to an Apostolic church I was 18 years old. It was the summer between my first and second year of college and I was working 3rd shift at a gas station. This guy would come in every early morning for coffee and we would talk about life, the universe and everything.

One night he asked if I wanted to come to a movie at his church. I thought it was a date, but it turned out that he had a girlfriend, and he really just wanted to set me up with Jesus.

(He's a good guy, and I am still facebook friends with him and his wife...but it wasn't the smartest way to handle witnessing, LOL)

The movie was actually a taped copy of the passion play that was put on by the big church in Alexandria, I think it was... Anyway, all I remember was crying through the entire thing and being so embarrassed, and trying to sink as far down into my little metal folding chair as I could.

It was so long ago, and short, that I don't really remember a lot. I went to church for a couple months. I did decide to get baptized. I never got the Holy ghost though. And once my 2nd year of college started up, I was ready to return to "normal". I didn't care about standards, but there were a lot of other things I didn't want to give up. I remember quite clearly trying to get the Pastor's wife to give me a specific of what I would physically be able to do with my on again boyfriend, and her being quite red in the face as I was quite graphic and we were at a church picnic! (I wasn't just being obnoxious, I was raised completely secular and this was pre-internet, I had no clue, everyone I knew was catholic and drank and smoked and had premarital sex).

Anyway, fast forward 6 years, I've been married to Matt less than 6 months, and I know it was a horrible mistake, but I'm too proud to admit it. I was miserable and started seeking again. As it was my only experience with church, I decided to visit that apostolic church from my past.

The church and my marriage ended up being very intertwined. I remember sharing with one of my "mentors" that I was afraid my marriage had been a mistake and not at all God's will. And she said to me "It no longer matters if it was God's will for you to get married, it's God's will for you to stay married."

So, I stayed married because church said God demanded it, and I stayed in the church because it was the only way I could deal with my marriage.

Anyway, I was about 24. I was about 33-34 when I left.

Dichotomy Girl · #22 05-12-2014, 11:14 AM

Bump for ILG

ILG · #23 05-13-2014, 09:32 AM

Hey, Mich, thanks for the bump.

Quote:

My first time I went to an Apostolic church I was 18 years old. It was the summer between my first and second year of college and I was working 3rd shift at a gas station. This guy would come in every early morning for coffee and we would talk about life, the universe and everything.

One night he asked if I wanted to come to a movie at his church. I thought it was a date, but it turned out that he had a girlfriend, and he really just wanted to set me up with Jesus.

(He's a good guy, and I am still facebook friends with him and his wife...but it wasn't the smartest way to handle witnessing, LOL)

LOL! He should have been more clear on that!

Quote:

The movie was actually a taped copy of the passion play that was put on by the big church in Alexandria, I think it was... Anyway, all I remember was crying through the entire thing and being so embarrassed, and trying to sink as far down into my little metal folding chair as I could.

It was so long ago, and short, that I don't really remember a lot. I went to church for a couple months. I did decide to get baptized. I never got the Holy ghost though. And once my 2nd year of college started up, I was ready to return to "normal". I didn't care about standards, but there were a lot of other things I didn't want to give up. I remember quite clearly trying to get the Pastor's wife to give me a specific of what I would physically be able to do with my on again boyfriend, and her being quite red in the face as I was quite graphic and we were at a church picnic! (I wasn't just being obnoxious, I was raised completely secular and this was pre-internet, I had no clue, everyone I knew was catholic and drank and smoked and had premarital sex).

Anyway, fast forward 6 years, I've been married to Matt less than 6 months, and I know it was a horrible mistake, but I'm too proud to admit it. I was miserable and started seeking again. As it was my only experience with church, I decided to visit that apostolic church from my past.

The church and my marriage ended up being very intertwined. I remember sharing with one of my "mentors" that I was afraid my marriage had been a mistake and not at all God's will. And she said to me "It no longer matters if it was God's will for you to get married, it's God's will for you to stay married."

So, I stayed married because church said God demanded it, and I stayed in the church because it was the only way I could deal with my marriage.

Anyway, I was about 24. I was about 33-34 when I left.

Church and my marriage were also very intertwined as the pastor told my husband we needed to get married and we did within a month! We got baptized the day after we got married. There weren't even any relatives at our wedding. Anyway, we began our marriage and our UPC journey at the very same time. I also got pregnant 3 months later and we had moved 800 miles from home and didn't know anybody. This was a really tough way to start a marriage.

Fast forward 19 years later.....we left the UPC and it was really nice to be just us. Really, really nice.

Abiding Now · #24 05-13-2014, 12:07 PM

Got to be one of the saddest threads I've ever read. Must be tough to be adrift like this. I did stop reading and prayed for both of you.

ILG · #25 05-13-2014, 03:17 PM

Well, that was uplifting. Spread the cheer.

ILG · #26 05-25-2014, 09:42 AM

So, here is today's experience...

I decided to go to a little church I saw on the highway. The name is Trinity Fellowship. I pulled up and there was one van in the parking lot (couple minutes to 10:00). The van was full of a mom and about 5 teens, the girls all had long hair and skirts. More people arrived, women in long hair and skirts. I was told the pastor was not there that day. A woman unlocked the door and immediately the mold smell was overwhelming (old building). I knew this wasn't going to be good. Then in walks a couple of women with pants on and cut hair and earrings. One of them was "grandma".

A kid walks up to me and says "Do you know my Mom?"

Obviously, no one visits there unless they know people from the church! Ha!

Church started and I realized they started with adult Sunday School. Only it was kids Sunday School too. There were about 18 people and they asked us to all move over to the one side of the church. I sat immediately behind the only two small children in the church who were loud and disruptive. (Not really complaining, I remember the days...)

It was horrifically boring. But worst of all, the mold was bothering me very badly. After 20 minutes, I tapped the woman in the pew in front of me on the shoulder and told her I was having a bad reaction to the mold and had to go.

My impression of the place was that I was at a very conservative trinitarian church. They seemed very insular and very casual.

I did not feel God there at all but may have had anything happened besides a few scripture readings and talking about it (no music).

So, that was a disappointment but at least now I know what's there.

KeptByTheWord · #27 05-26-2014, 10:41 AM

Sooo... since the pastor wasn't there, surely you want to go back and visit when he is? J/k....

How many more churches are on your list to visit?

I don't think I would be back to visit this church either. When a church is full of mostly women, it lets you know there is are underlying problems there, IMO.

ILG · #28 05-26-2014, 11:19 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by KeptByTheWord

Sooo... since the pastor wasn't there, surely you want to go back and visit when he is? J/k....

How many more churches are on your list to visit?

I don't think I would be back to visit this church either. When a church is full of mostly women, it lets you know there is are underlying problems there, IMO.

LOL! I won't go back because I can't stand the smell and reaction! I suppose to their way of thinking I was probably a sinner unable to cope! LOL!

I don't know how many more I will visit. I'm just going to enjoy the journey...

KeptByTheWord · #29 05-26-2014, 02:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ILG

LOL! I won't go back because I can't stand the smell and reaction! I suppose to their way of thinking I was probably a sinner unable to cope! LOL!

I don't know how many more I will visit. I'm just going to enjoy the journey...

Well the smell obviously was a huge turn-off, for sure.

But there are obviously other problems too... and of course, they probably wrote you off as thinking you just couldn't handle a service like that, lol.

I wish you well on your journey, it is a great experience to be able to visit other churches, and see what else is out there for you

ILG · #30 06-01-2014, 03:14 PM

So Mich, you seem to be MIA. Are you out there anywhere?

So, I went to the Lutheran church for the 3rd time. I was invited to stay for coffee and sweets afterwards but was meeting my Mom to visit my Granny in the nursing home, so I didn't stay.

For some reason, I got very upset at church today. It was nothing anybody did.....I guess, since I was there for the third time, I was feeling panicky...and then being invited to stay for coffee made me feel like I was being eyeballed, like they were going to tie me down and force me to be a member and be there all the time. LOL! My feelings are irrational, but I am very commitment shy. I sat there thinking "Is this what you believe?? Do you want to be here??" I cried all the way home. Hard.

So, I just don't know what I am thinking. I feel like someone who was married to a wife abuser, who got her ribs broken and her teeth smashed in....who finally got a divorce....left off men for a few years and am now dating again. (Erase abusive husband and put in abusive church and fill in the blanks.) I'm terrified.

Well, I don't have to make any commitments and I am not being forced to do anything for fear of hell. So, when my nervous system calms down, I'm sure I'll be alright. Just having flashbacks, I guess...