Writing a letter to my pastor

[Michael Phelps]

Originally Posted by Originalist

Most of you are aware of the decision my wife and I are wrestling with on wether or not to leave our church to begin assisting a small, struggling church nearby.

I recently shared all the "logical" reasons for such a move, how it could be beneficial to the struggling church and to my family. But of course i also shared concerning other "pressures" of late that have expedited this decision.

My pastor is a very busy man. Besides pastoring, he is also our District Superintendent, and he is on the General Board. He is gone a good bit. Before or after church never seems to be a good time to catch him. So i am considering sending him our "proposal" in letter or email form, asking him to review the info at his leizure, and then talking to us personally about it after he has had time to assimilate the information.

Do you think this approach is acceptable?

Just write a Facebook post on his wall

JUST KIDDING........

[Esaias]

Originally Posted by Michael Phelps

Just write a Facebook post on his wall

JUST KIDDING........

lol

Where have you been hiding?

[ILG]

If your pastor doesn't make time for you, you know for a fact you owe him nothing.

[crakjak]

Originally Posted by Originalist

Brothers, it is not a question of running away. It is a question of saving him time, so that if we do have to talk to him before or after a service, he will already have assimilated the information. Thus we can cut right to the chase.
Otherwise i will have to rush. He will have to rush. etc

A well written, respectful letter is appropriate, you can express yourself fully without being intimidated. It could very well help your pastor in his growth if you can articulate clearly the issues. He may not respond very well to your boldness, but he will remember what you have said, and it could bring change over time in his leadership. Focus on "clear" and "respectful", and honestly say what you have to say.

Then plan on where you go next, because this relationship is not likely to continue, but it is better than just disappearing. JMHO

[crakjak]

Originally Posted by woodstock

From my experience it is far better to have a face-to-face talk. Surely if you request a meeting, your pastor will make time for you. You should at least make the effort. If he refuses to make time for you he isn't much of a pastor, and you are certainly justified in leaving.

It's too easy for words on paper to get twisted out of context. I've seen situations where portions of a letter were read aloud from the pulpit and the writer was not there to defend himself... of course, your spoken words can be misconstrued also.

That is a risk, but if his leadership is consistently bad, others already know how it really is, leadership many times just fool themselves.

[crakjak]

Originally Posted by thaddaeus417

First thing first, I see a lack of confirmation, are you just a spiritual teenager experiencing friction with Dad?

Communication is often difficult between father and son, each having a different viewpoint.

[crakjak]

Originally Posted by Margies3

We once had a pastor that would avoid personal meetings like the plague!! So, like I said the written word could help the pastor to grow, respectful, but clear. Pastors are supposed to be servant leaders, and if they cannot communication with those that they serve, then they need to realize it is not there calling and find another vocation. As soon, as possible, because this type of leadership is very harmful.

[crakjak]

Originally Posted by Esaias

Breaking up is hard to do.

Nobody likes getting a 'Dear John' letter.

My recommendation was not a vindictive "Dear John".

[thaddaeus417]

Originally Posted by houston

Are you stupid?

Well, yes! But that is beside the point. I actually see the Lord's hand in all this and he should stay.

[houston]

Originally Posted by thaddaeus417

Well, yes! But that is beside the point. I actually see the Lord's hand in all this and he should stay.

What you think you see doesn't matter.