Do you celebrate Christmas?

[Esaias]

One problem I see with folks who become convicted regarding Christ-Mass, Easter, etc, is they do not replace these celebrations with something else. Thus, Real's comment about "...my parents regret distancing themselves from our family by not celebrating the season..."

We don't celebrate Christmas, but we do keep Biblical holy days. As a result, we have been drawn much closer as a family than if we just stuck with Christmas, Easter, and Halloween (much less doing nothing). Now we do not only the Sabbath (which is actually the highlight of our week), but also Passover/Unleavened Bread, Pentecost, Trumpets, Atonement, and Tabernacles.

If a person isn't going to do Christmas, and doesn't want to do God's holy days, they at least need SOMETHING that regularly calls the family together for a shared experience. Otherwise, the family members wind up drifting apart.

My 2 cents (corrected to 10 cents due to inflation).

[Real Realism]

The problem with that premise, Esaias, is that the extended family whom we were distanced from by not celebrating the holidays would never be convinced to stop celebrating Christmas. We had a mix of faiths in the family, but the Christmas season was a very uniting time for the whole family. It's one thing to replace those traditions with something else within your own family unit. But for the rest of your family, and society as a whole, you're saying a time that is full of love and joy and meaning for them is worthless to you. To not celebrate is most certainly distancing. And while I respect where you're coming from by not celebrating, there is something to be said for being so separate from the world that you lose connection and common ground with those whom you're trying to reach (not saying you personally have, it's just an observation from my past).

[houston]

When I was anti Christmas I still attended family gatherings. I would prefer that Christmas was completely secular. Gather with family, exchange gifts, fine. But don't say it's about JESUS when the only thing on your mind is what junk (that you don't need) you will be receiving.

[houston]

Originally Posted by Esaias

One problem I see with folks who become convicted regarding Christ-Mass, Easter, etc, is they do not replace these celebrations with something else. Thus, Real's comment about "...my parents regret distancing themselves from our family by not celebrating the season..." We don't celebrate Christmas, but we do keep Biblical holy days. As a result, we have been drawn much closer as a family than if we just stuck with Christmas, Easter, and Halloween (much less doing nothing). Now we do not only the Sabbath (which is actually the highlight of our week), but also Passover/Unleavened Bread, Pentecost, Trumpets, Atonement, and Tabernacles. If a person isn't going to do Christmas, and doesn't want to do God's holy days, they at least need SOMETHING that regularly calls the family together for a shared experience. Otherwise, the family members wind up drifting apart. My 2 cents (corrected to 10 cents due to inflation).

pseudo Jew does not work for me.

Shalom.

[MissBrattified]

Originally Posted by Real Realism

...I believe that the timing of my decision, along with my grandmother's passing, made my parents regret distancing themselves from our family by not celebrating the season. ....

I think my Dad regretted that later in life, also. He felt he was right about Christmas, but it was a point of contention with the rest of the family. I'm not so sure that being "right" was worth it.

Originally Posted by Esaias

...we do keep Biblical holy days. As a result, we have been drawn much closer as a family than if we just stuck with Christmas, Easter, and Halloween (much less doing nothing). Now we do not only the Sabbath (which is actually the highlight of our week), but also Passover/Unleavened Bread, Pentecost, Trumpets, Atonement, and Tabernacles.

If a person isn't going to do Christmas, and doesn't want to do God's holy days, they at least need SOMETHING that regularly calls the family together for a shared experience. Otherwise, the family members wind up drifting apart....

I can appreciate that, Esaias. Family traditions are important, and it probably doesn't matter which ones you choose to observe.

Originally Posted by Real Realism

The problem with that premise, Esaias, is that the extended family whom we were distanced from by not celebrating the holidays would never be convinced to stop celebrating Christmas. ...

Yes, and where it really gets sticky is in situations where you have the non-celebrating family gathered with the celebrating family which makes people feel odd about giving/receiving gifts. Some people feel that they can't accept gifts, which makes the giver feel bad. The people who aren't celebrating don't buy gifts, so they may feel bad for only being a recipient. It makes the whole thing awkward and stilted, at the very least. At its worst, (and I've been present for worse) the family argues over the issue, the non-celebrating family condemns those who celebrate or those who celebrate criticize those who don't celebrate and everyone's holiday is spoiled. It does end up separating family, because people aren't going to have you to their home and risk having their valuable family time ruined. Or, worse, there's some sort of incident or fight and the separation occurs due to hurt feelings.

[Esaias]

Originally Posted by Real Realism

The problem with that premise, Esaias, is that the extended family whom we were distanced from by not celebrating the holidays would never be convinced to stop celebrating Christmas. We had a mix of faiths in the family, but the Christmas season was a very uniting time for the whole family. It's one thing to replace those traditions with something else within your own family unit. But for the rest of your family, and society as a whole, you're saying a time that is full of love and joy and meaning for them is worthless to you. To not celebrate is most certainly distancing.

I understand. It is probably easier for me since on my dad's side the extended family only got together for funerals. (!) On my mom's side, the only time the extended family got together was Thanksgiving, and once Papa passed away well that was the end of that.

My wife's family is a little different. Almost the entire extended family lives in other states, but her mother is nearby. Her mother was horrified at the idea that we quit doing Christmas. For several years she would try to 'force' it on us. We inadvertently developed a compromise, however.

See, our immediate family does birthday's a little different than normal. On a person's birthday, THEY plan the event and buy gifts for everyone (instead of receiving gifts). Now, this has worked out rather nicely for my mother in law, because her birthday happens to be Dec 25th. Thus, she buys all the kids gifts for 'her birthday' and comes over and spends the day with us. Took her awhile to get over the fact there wasn't a tree and stockings, but the family get-together is what's important, after all (right?)...

And while I respect where you're coming from by not celebrating, there is something to be said for being so separate from the world that you lose connection and common ground with those whom you're trying to reach (not saying you personally have, it's just an observation from my past).

I have no idea what you are talking about in this part, though. Not keeping Christmas doesn't make us 'so separate from the world' that we 'lose connection and common ground with those whom' we are trying to reach.

In fact it has proven to be just the opposite. 'What, you don't celebrate Christmas? Are you Jewish or something?' which leads immediately into Bible discussion and discussion of the gospel (Christmas being almost immediately forgotten as a topic of discourse).

We are not monks. We do not live in a hermitage. We try to be separate, as God has commanded (be ye separate... come out from among them... etc) but that doesn't mean we aren't interacting with people on a daily basis.

In fact, I'd say we weren't separate enough (hopefully it's just a common teenager thing... lol). But I've never had our not doing Christmas being a stumbling block for anyone except for other Christians who think if you don't do Christmas you must be antichristian or something....

[Esaias]

Originally Posted by MissBrattified

Yes, and where it really gets sticky is in situations where you have the non-celebrating family gathered with the celebrating family which makes people feel odd about giving/receiving gifts. Some people feel that they can't accept gifts, which makes the giver feel bad. The people who aren't celebrating don't buy gifts, so they may feel bad for only being a recipient. It makes the whole thing awkward and stilted, at the very least. At its worst, (and I've been present for worse) the family argues over the issue, the non-celebrating family condemns those who celebrate or those who celebrate criticize those who don't celebrate and everyone's holiday is spoiled. It does end up separating family, because people aren't going to have you to their home and risk having their valuable family time ruined. Or, worse, there's some sort of incident or fight and the separation occurs due to hurt feelings.

Been there done that. lol

[MissBrattified]

Originally Posted by Esaias

Been there done that. lol

So how do you guys handle family gatherings during the holidays? Do you accept gifts if people give them to you, or does everyone know not to? Do you go ahead and give gifts? Do you stay away on Christmas day and get together with family at a different time?

[Esaias]

Originally Posted by MissBrattified

So how do you guys handle family gatherings during the holidays? Do you accept gifts if people give them to you, or does everyone know not to? Do you go ahead and give gifts? Do you stay away on Christmas day and get together with family at a different time?

Dec 25th is my mother in law's birthday. As I mentioned we do birthdays where the birthday person is the one who gives gifts. She comes over on Dec 24th or 25th and gives kids gifts, so she gets to keep a dec 25th family get together/celebration thing. Took her awhile but she let go of the Santa Claus thing lol.

My mother couldn't care less one way or the other, she respects our values and spends time with us when she can regardless of what's on the calendar.

Father in law lives with us so he sort of has no choice but to keep Passover and Tabernacles with us lol. He's cool with it tho.

Really the only opposition came from my mother in law. she just hated the idea we didn't do christmas or halloween or easter anymore. She was also very controlling in a lot of other ways but she has learned to give us space and realised that we simply don't do christmas etc but it doesn't mean we care less about her.

None of my kids miss it, they prefer Tabernacles anyway.

[Praxeas]

I think Christmas and "Easter" (I prefer Resurrection) should be taken advantage of to reach out to our communities for Christ