Quote:
Originally Posted by Felicity
I used Pastor P's initial post and then a few that I read quickly that were made by MOW.
I can't imagine why a man who has a wife would rather spend time with these "images". I think it's indicative of immaturity and I would think it would get old pretty quick. I mean, when you have a loving relationship with a real live warm woman and access to intimacy and physical expression of love and need, why and how could picture -- whether photos or video be better than that?
JY started a thread on FCF one time about all of this. He was making the query as to whether or not it was okay for married couples to use porn or porn type material in the bedroom to spice things up.
It's a real issue.
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Felicity, You have some good points, but I would have to disagree about the immaturity and that a person in a good marital relationship would not do such a thing. Hear me out...
Pornography is like many other addictions. It takes more and more of the same thing at a higher level of intesity to get the desired effect from it. It is a spirit that keep attaching itself to people and those chains can be broken immediately, as in any other type of sin, or it can happen gradually with counseling, prayer, an accountability person, ect.
A real life example: Names changed to protect the confidentiality of the couple. A couple had been married for approx. 5 years. After the birth of the first child, the mother of the baby no longer wanted to participate in viewing pornography wih her spouse as she had prior to motherhood. The father of the baby had grown up in a large city and his father had run pornography shops all his growing up years.
After the birth of the baby, the Mother of the baby felt betrayed by her spouse every time that he watched porn. To her it became an adultery issue. The more he watched it the less she would have marital relations with him...which increased the negative behavior.
Neither were Christians but had come in contact with a Christian who was their friend. Both wanted a change. They sought my help to deal with the issue. We set up computer locks and barriers to which only she had a password. He went to a separate male counselor for his addiciton, I counseled her, and then we held joint session for close to a year. Progress was slow, but over time the negative behavior was changed and both sought a relationship with Christ to protect their marriage, and He continues to have an accountability person...and it has been several years now.
It was not about immaturity, nor was it about a less than solid marriage, it was about an addiction that had to be broken. It took a decsion on both their parts, separate counseling sessions, and couples counseling, as well as involvement with a church to help them break the chains that bound them.
There are just as many females addicted to porn as there are men, and many married couples participate together for a more intense sexual rush...but it gets old, dirty, and shameful, and one or both partners end up wanting out of the marital relationship if it does not change.
Just some of my thoughts and experiences with this issue.
Blessings, Rhoni
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