Living "unmarried" SO Baptism then Marriage or....

[BeenThinkin]

Originally Posted by Pressing-On

Get 'er done, BT!

Challenge accepted! Be back in ten minutes! ha ha

BT

[Pressing-On]

Originally Posted by BeenThinkin

Challenge accepted! Be back in ten minutes! ha ha

BT

I have no further comments here.

[n david]

[LOVE JESUS]

Originally Posted by NewbieMisfits

One of us have been divorced for 13yrs, one had their (husband/wife) disappear 10+years ago back to a foreign country then that person died 4 years ago, but due to foreign records and unknown exact location proof of such has not been found...

So yes, the complications are that of one is legally still binded and although the process has started, due to publications being able to marry is about 4months out.


No, separating until then is not an option.

We've been together 8+years... so the "temptation" to break abstinence is well controllable lol

Originally Posted by NewbieMisfits

Yes, but we have to look at the social factor as well among the Church itself...

To resolve this, for 6wks the summons for the divorce will be published in the paper for 6wks. (in a very small gossip town at that)

So.. socially, what does that show to others of the Church? That we are baptized but then out comes this in the paper? I fear this could hinder another's (something)....

I fully agree with what you said as to be married (behind the curtan) by the pastor first, I agree that would set us right with God. I also mentioned this to our main Church contact, and he agreed with you as the best route.

Brother, I am not quite following you. If I understood correctly one has been divorced 13 yrs and the other one's husband/wife died in a foreign country. I don't understand the newspaper and the divorce process. Maybe I am missing something. If I am, will you explain it to me even if it is in a private message?

HOWEVER, I do not agree with a "ceremony" and it not being legal in the sight of man. If we are allowed to stand before a preacher and make a union of 2 people without the marriage license, thousands of people would be doing that all the time. There would be no divorce decree at all. People would be changing partners whenever there was a disagreement - nothing would bind them together - no committment. My husband is a preacher and would never ever marry someone without the marriage license. We have to obey the laws of the land. We are an open Bible to the world as we are the light of the world. In fact, the minister has to mail the license himself, he is not allowed to even let the married couple mail it in. I know an elderly couple who got married and the groom was good friends with the pastor and he asked the pastor to not mail it in. In fact, he gave it to the groom. About 5 years later, the wife found it in the safe. Naturally she was upset. She started using her former last name and moved out even to another state. This is not part of your situation but I am telling you this to stress the importance of the license and the mailing of it.

[NewbieMisfits]

Love Jesus,

Thanks for your reply.

The situation is this. The man from another country, took off and yes died in another country. The problem is, we could never confirm where in what country... to confirm at all.... SO.... the only way to go about this unconfirmable situation, is to publish it in the local paper as if he was still living....

I respect and also agree with your sticking to the legal side of things.... Although I kinda say to myself a prelegal ceremony would work, it slightly feels like cheating... even if I'm lost on this matter....

Would you say then to wait for baptism until after all this is finished... (4 months?)


Here's a question for all.... is there anything scripturally wrong with waiting to get baptized? I have not found any...

[Jermyn Davidson]

In all seriousness, if you haven't repented, then there isn't any sense in getting baptized.

It is POSSIBLE for you to move out from your "cohabitation" and the appearance of sin. Ask your Pastor if you can stay with him (in his basement or something). Surely, there is an elderly couple or a family member or someone in your church who is able to take in the bride or groom to be for a few months.

If you're not willing to separate, then you need to get married ASAP!

Get married THEN get baptized-- even if the marriage is performed by your Pastor without recognition from the State.

Do not "dilly-dally" with this situation.

You are able to do whatever you are willing to do.

Either don't cohabitate or get married.

This appears to be a test of your heart towards God-- which might be why you are feeling His Conviction in the first place.

[NewbieMisfits]

Originally Posted by Jermyn Davidson

In all seriousness, if you haven't repented, then there isn't any sense in getting baptized.

It is POSSIBLE for you to move out from your "cohabitation" and the appearance of sin. Ask your Pastor if you can stay with him (in his basement or something). Surely, there is an elderly couple or a family member or someone in your church who is able to take in the bride or groom to be for a few months.

If you're not willing to separate, then you need to get married ASAP!

Get married THEN get baptized-- even if the marriage is performed by your Pastor without recognition from the State.

Do not "dilly-dally" with this situation.

You are able to do whatever you are willing to do.

Either don't cohabitate or get married.

This appears to be a test of your heart towards God-- which might be why you are feeling His Conviction in the first place.

I have indeed reached a state of repentance, as there are kids involved not living together is not an option, believe me it take two of us to handle this home, everyday. The couch is about as far I could get.
Yes, I'm able to do whatever my free-will allows... anything really... but I am not looking for a dunk-dunk in water here, I am looking to be born again and be washed of all my former sins in Christ, not come out with a stain.

This is indeed a test, and I am searching truth to handle it in a manner pleasing to God.

[BeenThinkin]

Originally Posted by LOVE JESUS

Brother, I am not quite following you. If I understood correctly one has been divorced 13 yrs and the other one's husband/wife died in a foreign country. I don't understand the newspaper and the divorce process. Maybe I am missing something. If I am, will you explain it to me even if it is in a private message?

HOWEVER, I do not agree with a "ceremony" and it not being legal in the sight of man. If we are allowed to stand before a preacher and make a union of 2 people without the marriage license, thousands of people would be doing that all the time. There would be no divorce decree at all. People would be changing partners whenever there was a disagreement - nothing would bind them together - no committment. My husband is a preacher and would never ever marry someone without the marriage license. We have to obey the laws of the land. We are an open Bible to the world as we are the light of the world. In fact, the minister has to mail the license himself, he is not allowed to even let the married couple mail it in. I know an elderly couple who got married and the groom was good friends with the pastor and he asked the pastor to not mail it in. In fact, he gave it to the groom. About 5 years later, the wife found it in the safe. Naturally she was upset. She started using her former last name and moved out even to another state. This is not part of your situation but I am telling you this to stress the importance of the license and the mailing of it.

Not so in Texas. We have courthouses in Texas that actually tell the bride & groom that they can have the minister sign the license and give them back to them and they can bring the license to the court house Monday and they will certify them and give them right back to the bride and groom. Not hear say! I do many weddings and know this for a fact. May be so in other states but not in Texas.

Been Thinkin

[Titus2woman]

Originally Posted by BeenThinkin

Not so in Texas. We have courthouses in Texas that actually tell the bride & groom that they can have the minister sign the license and give them back to them and they can bring the license to the court house Monday and they will certify them and give them right back to the bride and groom. Not hear say! I do many weddings and know this for a fact. May be so in other states but not in Texas.

Been Thinkin

Our courthouse also encourages the bride and groom to bring back or mail in their own license. Don always returns the license to the couple after it is signed. After all it is the couple who will not wind up with the legal marriage they desire if they fail to turn in their license.

For NM. Any future unmarried sex in your relationship (now that you have acknowledged that you do not believe yourselves married) is the only part of what you are currently doing that is a sin. Get baptized and don't have any more sex until you have done whatever is necessary to be married in the eyes of God and man.

Just have to say that after 30 years of marriage things are still smokin' hot around here but I am sure that for the cause of Christ we could abstain if necessary and so can you.

[RandyWayne]

Originally Posted by LOVE JESUS

Brother, I am not quite following you. If I understood correctly one has been divorced 13 yrs and the other one's husband/wife died in a foreign country. I don't understand the newspaper and the divorce process. Maybe I am missing something. If I am, will you explain it to me even if it is in a private message?

HOWEVER, I do not agree with a "ceremony" and it not being legal in the sight of man. If we are allowed to stand before a preacher and make a union of 2 people without the marriage license, thousands of people would be doing that all the time. There would be no divorce decree at all. People would be changing partners whenever there was a disagreement - nothing would bind them together - no committment. My husband is a preacher and would never ever marry someone without the marriage license. We have to obey the laws of the land. We are an open Bible to the world as we are the light of the world. In fact, the minister has to mail the license himself, he is not allowed to even let the married couple mail it in. I know an elderly couple who got married and the groom was good friends with the pastor and he asked the pastor to not mail it in. In fact, he gave it to the groom. About 5 years later, the wife found it in the safe. Naturally she was upset. She started using her former last name and moved out even to another state. This is not part of your situation but I am telling you this to stress the importance of the license and the mailing of it.

Something tells me she had a few screws loose to think that they weren't actually married. In fact that sounds an awful lot like the episode of Gilligans Island where Thurston and Luvie Howell hear over the radio that the minister who married them wasn't a real minister, thus they were never married.