Husband leaving the church. Very sad n stressed

[Free 2b Me!]

Hi everyone. This is my first post although I've been reading on these boards for awhile now. Here's my situation in a nut shell. About 4 years ago we started attending a new church. It was/is awesome compared to our old church. Old church was clique-ish and the pastor ruled with an iron fist..my way or the highway type church. I'm not just talking about disagreeing with standards and such but I mean you couldn't even tell a friend you were feeling down or needed help praying about something! Once I told another woman I felt lonely and ten minutes later the pastor calls yelling (yes yelling) at me because "I should not counsel with anyone except him!!" Wow! Needless to say after enduring 6 years of him tearing us down we finally got the nerve to leave. So fast forward to now. New church new people..where at first everyone always wanted to hang out with us..especially when my husband had a great job making lots more than he does now. We would go out to eat with everyone all the time, be invited over people's houses for dinner etc.Now it's like they've forgotten about my husband. I am very outgoing so I really don't have this problem. I feel very loved and like everyone is my family there. Him? Not so much. I feel everyone likes him but he has no real FRiENDS if you know what I mean. No guys ever call him to talk or to go do anything anymore like when we first came

He has went above and beyond to make himself available to them and would go with someone at the drop of a hat if they asked him to go somewhere with him. He's quite a handyman (cars, houses, pretty much everything) so they would call him to say bro s could you come fix this or help me w this or whatever and now he's tired of people "using him". He is the type that would give the shirt off his back to someone and has always been the one to help a friend when no one else would but it seems like after the car, house or whatever is fixed they go back to forgetting about him..

Today was Sunday and he woke up this morning and I said aren't you going to get ready? And he told me he wasn't gojng. I thought he was joking but nope.. He says he's not coming back because no one cares about him.. To make matters worse AFTER he said this and I let our pastor know I wouldn't be there this am the pastor called my phone -not my husbands�� I then had about 6
people call MY PHONE today to say they missed us but really only our pastor called him until later tonight when stuff really started to hit the fan and people realized we may not be coming back. Which he was then like "see they're only calling now bc he told them what was going on or to call".

I have noticed the past year or so that hardly anyone talks to him or takes to him like they do me. I don't know what to do since i do not want to go to church without my husband. I'd rather us find another church where we can both be happy at. This is our 3rd church we have been to in our married life of 10 years. There are kids involved, I'm the piano player at my church. So I am very involved. I don't want to be labeled as a "church hopper". It's just sooo depressing. He says now he is pretty much through with people. He's tired of us always being used and he especially doesn't want to end up at another church like our first two were (ultra-con, tattlers, people worshiping the pastor). Our church now would probably be considered moderate. None of us have a judge mental attitude and everyone is treated the same when they come in regardless of dress/money status.

I felt like when we came here third time was a charm and I love it here but I also don't know whether to just go anyways (which he wants me to keep going, he said he has hated to see me cry all day today) he would never keep us from going anyways. Or go somewhere else and hope he tags along. I don't know if he would go anywhere though because he said "why go when it will be the same anywhere else" I am starting to feel the same way. I don't know that we could find a church like ours around here since most all are ultra con (even upc)

there is one here in town that does preach truth but do not have a "dress code" most wear dresses but some women wear pants , men have beards etc. which that's a WHOLE "nuther" issue in itself. I have struggled hard with our standards (not really whether I am able to keep them but the effect it will have telling my children (don't wear pants, makeup, trim your hair etc when I'm not sure I even believe half of that!) I wear makeup, keep my hair trimmed, "henna" (natural dye) it, all that jazz so yeah:/ my husband has a beard now but our pastor preached against it which we don't agree with. If we went to another church it would have to be one that didn't preach against those thing. And yes I know sentences don't start with "and" aaaaannnnd that posting that makes us sound like rebellious church hoppers w itching ears (we aren't) aaaand I'm rambling so I'll end this now for yalls sake.

Well thanks for being my therapy for tonight .. How much do I owe y'all?
*** whole forum smiles and nods saying "I seeee"*** lol

Any suggestions?