Where has Grace and Love gone...

[AreYouReady?]

God Bless you too Amanah!

I got very nervous being under the spotlight of a few who thought they were the chosen ones to crack the whip at other female saints. I knew I would never "measure up"...that there would be some little thing that was not pleasing.

I had a period of time when I was in a major depression. What? A born again, Holy Ghost filled, tongue talking, shouting believer in a depression??? How can that be???
One Saint told me that I was not supposed to let it show. I was supposed to show everybody that I had joy! Holy Ghost filled people were supposed to be happy!

Another saint said depression was the next step to possession. Whew. Don't think that did not freak me out.

Yeah. Depression can happen to anybody. When I found my self alone in this black hole...I really did not find myself alone. That's when Jesus came to minister to me through this. During the times when I felt the bleakness, I felt the Holy Ghost come and if the Holy Spirit had arms, I surely felt those arms wrap around me as if I was in His embrace. NONE of these women, unless they have been in a depression and not denied they were in one would ever understand how God ministers to His people no matter what illness they find themselves in.

Don't get me wrong, not every lady in the church was in this state, but they did not understand the depression in my life and because of that, they just stayed away.

It's been 10 years since this happened. God is good to me.

[Truthseeker]

Originally Posted by Amanah

God bless you AreYouReady, I understand where you are coming from. In a very Ultra Conservative Church, people use peer pressure to control you and make you conform to the standards of the Church. They do it because they believe that it's necessary for salvation. But in fact it's very cultish. Taken to the extreme, it ends with everyone sizing everyone else up always checking to make sure you are lining up. And many cannot possibly be good enough to satisfy the ones in judgment. To some, most of the saints in the Church are not saved, and most people in other churches are also not lined up enough to be saved. If you let it get to you, you can start to believe it is impossible to be saved. Just know that you are God's and you are loved. You've been purchased with His blood and you are the apple of God's eye.

Another thing I might add is that men have no idea what it is like to be a woman in a UC church, so don't expect them to understand where you are coming from, particularly if they are from a liberal background.

Us dudes have it easier, we don't have to go against the grain everytime we walk outside in public. No ones going to stare because I look like an average guy.

[AreYouReady?]

Originally Posted by Truthseeker

Us dudes have it easier, we don't have to go against the grain everytime we walk outside in public. No ones going to stare because I look like an average guy.

I had no trouble walking out side in public with my long hair, dresses and no makeup. I had no trouble being different from most of the people in the public. I was a hospital worker and pentecostals were very few in that environment.

It was walking inside the UPC church where my troubles began...

[Truthseeker]

Originally Posted by AreYouReady?

I had no trouble walking out side in public with my long hair, dresses and no makeup. I had no trouble being different from most of the people in the public. I was a hospital worker and pentecostals were very few in that environment.

It was walking inside the UPC church where my troubles began...

good point.