Alabama misconceptions

[OneAccord]

I'm surprized by the misconceptions people have of Alabama- Maybe I should enlighten some folks about our great state-

We haves cities. No, really. Birminghan isn't just a city in England. There is a Birmingham in a Alabama. And, its BIG. Got paved streets, tall building and everything. We've got indoor plumbing and electric lights. And Wal-mart isn't the only place to shop - we've got K-mart, too. And, Big Lots!

You don't have to drive a pick-up truck and chew tobacco in Alabama. People own cars (I once saw a Hummer). Some people own pick-up trucks and CARS. And they drive them too. If you REALLY want to be somebody in Alabama, get a pick-up, a car AND a tractor. Now Thats STATUS!

We don't own slaves anymore- and not everyone is a farmer. We have computers and internet service. (See, I'm using one now). Kids go to school and some even graduate from high school. Some actually go to college. Yes, we do have colleges in Alabama. At least, thats what I heard.

Not all churches handle snakes. I don't even know of a church in Alabama that still "have signs following them that believe". The churches have carpet on the floor and padded pews. We've got Baptists (lots of 'em), Methodists and even some high-falutin Lutherans. Theres Pentecostal churches scattered around like pepper in grits. And EVERYBODY eats grits!

Alabama is NOT "tornado alley". Yes, we have storms, even tornadoes, but, not every storm is a tornado (even though the TV news makes people think every rain cloud is a tornado). We have airplanes in Alabama. Big ones, too. And I saw a helicopter fly over yesterday, but I think it came from Georgia.

We have TV in Alabama. Cable TV in some areas, satellite TV and even something called HDTV. I think that stands for Hell and Damnation Television). I don't have that on my TV.

We have mountains in the NE, we have beaches in the South. We have a Space Center in Huntsville ( some of us believe man has been to the moon). And we have a zoo somewhere. Maybe two of 'em.

Hootersville is NOT our State Capital. Montgomery is. Moonshine is not our state drink. Sweet tea is. (Don't call it "iced tea"- thats a dead giveaway that you're either a foriegner or, worse, a Yankee.

We don't pick cotten anymore. There's machines to do that now. We don't have.... wait, let me check... okay... we don't have pigs and chickens in our front yards.

Famous Alabamians: Hank Williams, Randy Owens, Helen Keller and "Fat Man" Price. If you don't know who "Fat Man" Price is, then you don't know nuthin' 'bout Alabama!

The KKK does not rule in Alabama. Most of them gave up their sheets. Had to put them back on their beds. Oh, did I mention we have beds? And furniture too. We don't all live in shacks and houses with wheels on them. But, having wheels on your house is a good idea, makes it easier to move when the rent comes due!

Theres more, but, just wanted to clear up some misconceptions about Alabama. But, gotta go milk the cow and slop the hogs now. (Well, at least they ain't in the front yard!).