A testimony/some thoughts...

[Subdued]

Statistics tell me that I should have married an abusive man and/or been an abusive mother. They tell me that as a teen I should have been a run-away, living on the streets, an alcoholic, and drug addict. The places I've been - the places I've allowed myself to be should have caused great harm to come to me. The people I chose to align myself with as a young person should have ended me up in jail or worse, dead. The world called me a victim and says I probably will continue to be victimized throughout my life. But JESUS is in the business of breaking the bonds of statistics and cycles!

I drive my children to school each morning and I watch them walk into the building with such joy in my heart. I can't believe that they are mine to care for! My heart swells with so many positive emotions, it's hard to contain. Those three beautiful human beings have been placed in my care - what a blessing they are!

I have a husband who has proven time and time again that he loves me (see I Corinthians chapter 13). He stands by me, supports me, stays by my side, and protects me. He cares deeply for, and provides for, me and our children. He's a hard worker and a great friend.

Sometimes I think that Jesus allowed us to be parents so that we could have a glimpse and a taste of what he feels for, and thinks of, us. There are times when my kids disobey my rules. They sometimes annoy me. They occasionally say things in anger that hurt me. But despite their shortcomings and the fact that they fail or fall, my love for them never changes. And so it is with God.

I have failed Jesus more times than I can count - literally. I have broken the "rules" (HIS rules). I have fallen, and on occasion, and hesitated to get back up. I've whined and cried and complained. Yet through it all, He remains... never leaving - never turning His back on me. He loves me unconditionally - forever.

Jesus is the perfection I've sought for my whole life! He is that friend I've longed to have - the one who doesn't fail, who loves me despite myself, who can't be pushed away. That is Jesus... a TRUE friend.

Today, I just want to take some time to convey my heart. My life is not/has not been perfect. Chances are, it never will be. This world is full of sorrow and pain. And I've been hurt by many (who hasn't?). I, too (as some have posted), find it difficult to trust others. I've even struggled to trust God. But even Jesus Christ, himself, was abused, ridiculed, neglected, beaten, even killed. JESUS, our LORD! Do I have a right to complain about MY life?

I realize, though, that when one experiences pain or injury, there is a healing process that generally must take place; whether it's physical, emotional or spiritual. Just as the physical body needs care, attention, and time to heal; I believe we need the same for emotional and spiritual wounds to heal as well. And we'll have scars sometimes - even Jesus had scars. But I also realize that it is Jesus who facilitates our healing! And He delights in doing so.

I thank God, today, for all His blessings in my life. He's blessed me beyond measure. I am amazed by His goodness. And I'm especially awed by His mercy!