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08-29-2010, 03:06 PM
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Location: In His Hands
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Housemate Question
I am in a rent-to-own situation here in the Sunshine State for the home I am living in for the next 2 years. So the house is mine for now.
As it is my house, I want to have roommates. In fact, it would be very wise for me to have housemates.
So, one of the guys that really wants to move in is single, straight and not in a relationship with anyone right now. However, in the future, he will be and wants to have the liberty to "spend the night with her" in our place, when the time comes.
I am having a hard time with this. He's a grown man like me and so I COMPLETELY understand.
On one hand if he is paying rent and is otherwise respectful of his housemates and the house, there should not be a problem. In fact, he should feel the liberty to do what he wants, to an extent.
On the other hand, it's my house. My housemates are not saved, but I am. I can only live my life for me, but what about stuff that they do or don't do that is sinful... am I responsible for that?
If I allow it to happen (as in tell him when the time comes, it's ok just as long as she doesn't start living with you), am I codifying or in agreement with his sin?
If the answer is yes, would the only solution to get around situations like be to not have housemates at all-- or maybe only saved housemates?
__________________
"The choices we make reveal the true nature of our character."
Last edited by Jermyn Davidson; 08-29-2010 at 03:09 PM.
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08-29-2010, 03:38 PM
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Go Dodgers!
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Re: Housemate Question
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jermyn Davidson
I am in a rent-to-own situation here in the Sunshine State for the home I am living in for the next 2 years. So the house is mine for now.
As it is my house, I want to have roommates. In fact, it would be very wise for me to have housemates.
So, one of the guys that really wants to move in is single, straight and not in a relationship with anyone right now. However, in the future, he will be and wants to have the liberty to "spend the night with her" in our place, when the time comes.
I am having a hard time with this. He's a grown man like me and so I COMPLETELY understand.
On one hand if he is paying rent and is otherwise respectful of his housemates and the house, there should not be a problem. In fact, he should feel the liberty to do what he wants, to an extent.
On the other hand, it's my house. My housemates are not saved, but I am. I can only live my life for me, but what about stuff that they do or don't do that is sinful... am I responsible for that?
If I allow it to happen (as in tell him when the time comes, it's ok just as long as she doesn't start living with you), am I codifying or in agreement with his sin?
If the answer is yes, would the only solution to get around situations like be to not have housemates at all-- or maybe only saved housemates?
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Problem is you don't just have to deal with him but his girlfriend now. Is she gonna stay the night? Go home in the morning? Is she gonna shower and hang around and use your utilities?
As this progresses, if it does, you'll probably start to get peeved that she is here every weekend like she lives there.
Aside from other issues like noise "ahem", she might actually be pleasant to have around and maybe she cleans! who knows. But I know from experience that once it starts the convenience can become too convenient with her staying a day or more...rent free
__________________
Let it be understood that Apostolic Friends Forum is an Apostolic Forum.
Apostolic is defined on AFF as:
- There is One God. This one God reveals Himself distinctly as Father, Son and Holy Ghost.
- The Son is God himself in a human form or "God manifested in the flesh" (1Tim 3:16)
- Every sinner must repent of their sins.
- That Jesus name baptism is the only biblical mode of water baptism.
- That the Holy Ghost is for today and is received by faith with the initial evidence of speaking in tongues.
- The saint will go on to strive to live a holy life, pleasing to God.
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08-29-2010, 03:49 PM
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Registered Member
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: In His Hands
Posts: 13,919
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Re: Housemate Question
Quote:
Originally Posted by Praxeas
Problem is you don't just have to deal with him but his girlfriend now. Is she gonna stay the night? Go home in the morning? Is she gonna shower and hang around and use your utilities?
As this progresses, if it does, you'll probably start to get peeved that she is here every weekend like she lives there.
Aside from other issues like noise "ahem", she might actually be pleasant to have around and maybe she cleans! who knows. But I know from experience that once it starts the convenience can become too convenient with her staying a day or more...rent free
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Well I am not concerned about that as much as what they may be doing.
I don't want to be connected to their sin, held accountable for their sin. I mean, am I making any sense at all in thinking that if they sin under my roof with my full knowledge that it will happen eventually, ahead of time, should I do something to not let it happen?
Or is his life his life and what he does have no bearing on my own life?
__________________
"The choices we make reveal the true nature of our character."
Last edited by Jermyn Davidson; 08-29-2010 at 03:52 PM.
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08-29-2010, 03:52 PM
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Go Dodgers!
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 45,794
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Re: Housemate Question
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jermyn Davidson
Well I am not concerned about that as much as what they may be doing.
I don't want to be connected to their sin, held accountable for their sin. I mean, am I making any sense at all in thinking that if they sin under my roof with my full knowledge that it will happen eventually, ahead of time, should I do something to not let it happen?
Or is his life his life and what he does have no bearing on my own life?
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Then you need to find someone that agrees with you, a Christian, and make him sign an agreement
__________________
Let it be understood that Apostolic Friends Forum is an Apostolic Forum.
Apostolic is defined on AFF as:
- There is One God. This one God reveals Himself distinctly as Father, Son and Holy Ghost.
- The Son is God himself in a human form or "God manifested in the flesh" (1Tim 3:16)
- Every sinner must repent of their sins.
- That Jesus name baptism is the only biblical mode of water baptism.
- That the Holy Ghost is for today and is received by faith with the initial evidence of speaking in tongues.
- The saint will go on to strive to live a holy life, pleasing to God.
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08-29-2010, 03:54 PM
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Administrator
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 16,848
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Re: Housemate Question
Like Prax I think the situation can be looked at as completely seperate from the morality of it.
If you are the one who is responsible for the home and are the one renting the rooms then you set the rules. It is very reasonable that one of them be no overnight guests.
__________________
"I think some people love spiritual bondage just the way some people love physical bondage. It makes them feel secure. In the end though it is not healthy for the one who is lost over it or the one who is lives under the oppression even if by their own choice"
Titus2woman on AFF
"We did not wear uniforms. The lady workers dressed in the current fashions of the day, ...silks...satins...jewels or whatever they happened to possess. They were very smartly turned out, so that they made an impressive appearance on the streets where a large part of our work was conducted in the early years.
"It was not until long after, when former Holiness preachers had become part of us, that strict plainness of dress began to be taught.
"Although Entire Sanctification was preached at the beginning of the Movement, it was from a Wesleyan viewpoint, and had in it very little of the later Holiness Movement characteristics. Nothing was ever said about apparel, for everyone was so taken up with the Lord that mode of dress seemingly never occurred to any of us."
Quote from Ethel Goss (widow of 1st UPC Gen Supt. Howard Goss) book "The Winds of God"
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08-29-2010, 03:55 PM
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Registered Member
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: In His Hands
Posts: 13,919
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Re: Housemate Question
Quote:
Originally Posted by Praxeas
Then you need to find someone that agrees with you, a Christian, and make him sign an agreement
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IMPOSSIBLE!
Apparently Christians don't need a place to live in Orlando.
I've already marketed for Christian roommates. No takers.
If I let this guy move in, knowing that eventually he will sin, willfully, probably repeatedly, I am helping him to sin, aren't I?
__________________
"The choices we make reveal the true nature of our character."
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08-29-2010, 03:57 PM
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Registered Member
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Kentucky
Posts: 399
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Re: Housemate Question
Years ago one of my sons was living with his girlfriend in another state. My other son was getting married and asked his brother to be his best man. When my son came home with his girlfriend, I put them in separate rooms. How could I be a testimony to this girl and still allow their 'sin' to be practiced in my home? They both respected my wishes.
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08-29-2010, 03:59 PM
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Go Dodgers!
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 45,794
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Re: Housemate Question
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jermyn Davidson
IMPOSSIBLE!
Apparently Christians don't need a place to live in Orlando.
I've already marketed for Christian roommates. No takers.
If I let this guy move in, knowing that eventually he will sin, willfully, probably repeatedly, I am helping him to sin, aren't I?
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As I was saying and CC pointed out, there are other reasons for not allowing sleep over guests
BTW did you also advertise for muslims or Jews? What about mormons?
__________________
Let it be understood that Apostolic Friends Forum is an Apostolic Forum.
Apostolic is defined on AFF as:
- There is One God. This one God reveals Himself distinctly as Father, Son and Holy Ghost.
- The Son is God himself in a human form or "God manifested in the flesh" (1Tim 3:16)
- Every sinner must repent of their sins.
- That Jesus name baptism is the only biblical mode of water baptism.
- That the Holy Ghost is for today and is received by faith with the initial evidence of speaking in tongues.
- The saint will go on to strive to live a holy life, pleasing to God.
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08-29-2010, 04:08 PM
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Registered Member
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Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: In His Hands
Posts: 13,919
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Re: Housemate Question
Quote:
Originally Posted by Praxeas
As I was saying and CC pointed out, there are other reasons for not allowing sleep over guests
BTW did you also advertise for muslims or Jews? What about mormons?
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No, no and no.
I explicitly mentioned that I was looking for Christians and other morally straight guys....
I was kind of leaning towards not letting that guy move in with us anyway.
Great guy. Awesome personality.
But I guess I should draw a line in the sand somewhere.
You know CC1, I thought "no overnight guests" was a reasonable house rule as well.
Good to go then.
He's not moving in.
Thanks everyone.
__________________
"The choices we make reveal the true nature of our character."
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08-29-2010, 04:18 PM
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Go Dodgers!
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Join Date: Feb 2007
Posts: 45,794
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Re: Housemate Question
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jermyn Davidson
No, no and no.
I explicitly mentioned that I was looking for Christians and other morally straight guys....
I was kind of leaning towards not letting that guy move in with us anyway.
Great guy. Awesome personality.
But I guess I should draw a line in the sand somewhere.
You know CC1, I thought "no overnight guests" was a reasonable house rule as well.
Good to go then.
He's not moving in.
Thanks everyone.
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How about going around to all churches, temples, mosques and synagogues and tell them what you are looking for?
__________________
Let it be understood that Apostolic Friends Forum is an Apostolic Forum.
Apostolic is defined on AFF as:
- There is One God. This one God reveals Himself distinctly as Father, Son and Holy Ghost.
- The Son is God himself in a human form or "God manifested in the flesh" (1Tim 3:16)
- Every sinner must repent of their sins.
- That Jesus name baptism is the only biblical mode of water baptism.
- That the Holy Ghost is for today and is received by faith with the initial evidence of speaking in tongues.
- The saint will go on to strive to live a holy life, pleasing to God.
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