I've tried to visit various churches and found it very difficult. I find that my emotions begin to run amok in the couple days prior to the service I've committed to attending. When I've gone my heart races, I feel hot, flushed, and almost like I can't breathe. The week after is pure "hades" in that I have panic attacks, emotional outbursts, and random crying. I've also had nightmares. However, attending a house church or "simple church" gathering doesn't do this to me. After seeing a family counselor and discussing this he said that it sounds like I suffer from a form of PTSD. He suggested a rapid eye movement therapy that calms me. Loud "preacherous" screaming causes me to feel really unsettled and like I can't breathe. I was shaking so bad after a service once (and it wasn't even a bad service) that I questioned as to if I should drive. Please note, I've also been in the military and I've had several tragedies that I experienced when I was a young man. All of these things have left their mark also. But for some reason things really get difficult when I'm attending or visiting a church.
I just feel bad, because after considering going and committing to go, I've gotten to the point where I back out at the last minute because it's so draining just thinking about it and trying to keep my myself together. As a result, my friends feel like I'm pushing them away. Sincerely, I'm not. Many of these churches are great churches, and these friends are wonderful friends.
Sometimes I sink into a deep depression after talking to a good friend who is still "in church". We'll have a wonderful conversation and everything will be going great. We're having fun, lifting up Jesus, sharing thoughts and ideas. Then they invite me to church. It starts to feel like I'm only seen as a brother in the Lord or even a friend if I attend church with them. And what's strange... they all want me to attend different churches and stress why the church they are now attending is better than the one before it. And in all honesty... I know that in five years... they'll be at yet another church! lol It makes me feel like an object as opposed to a brother or a friend.
As I looked up information on this subject I found this video about PTSD and religious abuse. So, what are your thoughts? Can religious abuse and emotional mistreatment in church cause a form of PTSD in those who experienced it?
http://www.elizabethesther.com/2012/...ual-abuse.html
Another link:
http://journeyfree.org/rts/
Another interesting link:
http://unsettledchristianity.com/201...ress-syndrome/
How should the body minister to someone who suffers from PTSD due to spiritual and/or emotional abuse inflicted on them in the church?
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