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  #1  
Old 08-27-2007, 02:21 PM
deacon blues deacon blues is offline
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Why You Should Vote AGAINST Resolution 4

1. Its Safe: we are the Church of the Living God! We must HOLD THE FORT til Jesus comes! The enemy has us surrounded and we must remain safely secure in the Fortress of Zion. Venturing out into uncharted territory is too risky!!!!

2. Everyone Knows That By Going On TV, Homosexuals Will Be Ordained In Our Pulpits: when you remove the tv fence, the hordes of gays and lesbians waiting to be ordained in our pulpits will come in like a flood! Do it for our children!

3. Our Elders With Much Prayer Decided On This Stance: everything the elders stood for was right: coffee, red dresses, open toed shoes, unshaved legs on ladies, unshaved armpits on the women, radio, Andy Griffith, Leave It To Beaver, The Brady Bunch, etc. Change means nothing more than SIN---look at how the Amish have grown and they did it without the Holy Ghost!

4. Nobody Watches TV, Its A Dying Medium: television is losing its audience more and more. Look at the political campaigns: they only door knock and do radio programs. They know that the way to reach the masses is through canvassing neighborhoods and 30 minute radio shows. Why would we want to use a dying mode of communication?

5. Because of that Girl in Philippi: everyone knows that girl is a type and shadow of television. Paul and Silas passed a resolution banning her and they made everyone sign an annual statement affirming that they did not let her in their home.

6. Its Too Expensive: how will a preacher afford to build his musuem/worship facility pouring money into television ministry? How can a preacher afford the million dollar home and Mercedes if he's trying to evangelize on the devil box?

7. Can You Name ONE TV Preacher That Doesnt Fall Into Disgrace?: just name them---Bakker, Swaggert, Haggard, Tilton, Jenkins, Grant, Hanby, Hinn, Crouch just to name a few. I guess there's Graham, so name TWO. Well okay Falwell, so name THREE. Alright, Hayford, how about FOUR. Then there's Kennedy, alright name FIVE. Well, yes, there's Hagee, okay name SIX. Just name SIX preachers that don't fall into disgrace by being on tv and you will prove my point.

8. TV is Entertainment Based, Internet is Information Based: can you get recipes off of tv? Can you learn about the wildebeast migration on the Serengeti? How about shopping? Can one learn about american and world history? You can't get news or weather information on tv. You can't learn about local activities and sports on tv. Can you get how to remodel your bathroom or basement? What about the value of antiques or how to fix your car? Everyone knows that TV is all about entertainment and the internet is all about information. There is no entertainment on the internet. That's why TV is not losing any audience to Internet, in fact its growing, because who wants to bore themselves with the internet with all that information and education when tv offers pure entertainment? Everyone will look at us on tv and say, "Where's the entertainment?"

9. Has TV Produced Any One-God Believers?: the stats are dismal. TV has produced near zero results for us in the 60 plus years of its existence. If it hasn't produced anything for us these past sixty years, who is to say it will now?

10. Do We Really Want The Guy Across Town Coming Into Our Saints Homes?: As soon as our people see how great that church is, they'll leave us in a heartbeat. I know I should try to have something that keeps them, but that require more out of me than I want to do. I would much rather put the onus on my neighbor to keep his church a secret and deny him his right to reach the lost any way possible so that I can keep my people, who don't have televisions mind you, from seeing what is going on at his place!

So there you have it. The Ten Commandments why you should vote NO on resolution 4!
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‎When a newspaper posed the question, "What's Wrong with the World?" G. K. Chesterton reputedly wrote a brief letter in response: "Dear Sirs: I am. Sincerely Yours, G. K. Chesterton." That is the attitude of someone who has grasped the message of Jesus.
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  #2  
Old 08-27-2007, 02:51 PM
OP_Carl OP_Carl is offline
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11. To spare our dear saints from Retinal Photon Poisoning. (RPP) We all know that TV programs are written by the devil himself, but many are unaware that the rays emitted by the average television set, in addition to containing wave properties that gradually interrupt normal brain function, also contain incredibly dense particles known as photons, which pass through the lens and cornea and impact against the retina at the back of the eyeball. RPP has been widely proven* to aggressively deteriorate the retina over the course of as few as six decades! Some experimental treatments for the cure of RPP are under development as of this writing, but as yet show hope only for slowing the progression. Scientists remain hopeful, and continue to research this ailment in spite underfunding, graft, corruption, solar flares, and the bleak, hopeless, outlook of the research itself. Plus, they only have one microscope. The damage that RPP causes is irrepairable. The RPP Prevention Foundation is sequestered this week to decide whether the public should be warned of the dangers via televised bulletins, or only on the radio. Concerns about consistency of message and RWEAS (Radio-Whacked Eardrum Anvil Syndrome) are at the forefront of the debate.

Don't watch TV! You'll go blind!




*in a recent carefully documented study conducted by the Institute for the Prevention of Television-Induced Stupidity and Blindness
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Engineering solutions for theological problems.

Despite today's rising cost of living, it remains popular.

"It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all the others that have been tried." - Sir Winston Churchill

"The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter." - Sir Winston Churchill

"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security." - Benjamin Franklin
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  #3  
Old 08-27-2007, 02:58 PM
Rev Dooley
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It is funny that some people think that ungodly people can produce godly programming.
Since when does a rotten spring give forthe good water?

The televangelists of our day have proven over and over again that to be popular on tv, they must bow to public opinion. My former pastor believed as do I that that is one of our greatest enemies.

Oh, I get it. This was satire, wasn't it?
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  #4  
Old 08-27-2007, 03:39 PM
Sissy
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When it comes to technology it is best to teach self control.

Anything can be a bad influence or a good influence - depending how the person uses it.

According to the Bible, (long before the technology was invented such as tv, internet, radio, and phones) there was murder, adultery, idolatry, rape, incest, homosexuality and other perversed sexual sins - where did the bad influence come from then?

Just a thought...
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  #5  
Old 08-27-2007, 04:13 PM
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BrotherEastman BrotherEastman is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by NobodyImportant View Post
It is funny that some people think that ungodly people can produce godly programming.
Since when does a rotten spring give forthe good water?

The televangelists of our day have proven over and over again that to be popular on tv, they must bow to public opinion. My former pastor believed as do I that that is one of our greatest enemies.

Oh, I get it. This was satire, wasn't it?
Yes it was satire preacher! This would not be your forte'. LOL! 'preciate you Bro.
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Old 08-27-2007, 05:39 PM
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CC1 CC1 is offline
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deacon purple,

I loved it. Particularly No. 9 Got to love that circular logic.

I don't know how to break this to you but you belong in the UPC about like I do. You are way too logical. I think once you have lifted your head from the koolaid and the fumes clear your nose, then your head clears you can never go back.
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  #7  
Old 08-27-2007, 05:54 PM
OP_Carl OP_Carl is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CC1 View Post
deacon purple,

I loved it. Particularly No. 9 Got to love that circular logic.
That was my favorite too!

Quote:
I don't know how to break this to you but you belong in the UPC about like I do. You are way too logical. I think once you have lifted your head from the koolaid and the fumes clear you nose then your head clears you can never go back.
Don't be so mysterious, CC1. Tell us how you really feel about the UPC!
__________________
Engineering solutions for theological problems.

Despite today's rising cost of living, it remains popular.

"It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all the others that have been tried." - Sir Winston Churchill

"The best argument against democracy is a five-minute conversation with the average voter." - Sir Winston Churchill

"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security." - Benjamin Franklin
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  #8  
Old 08-27-2007, 06:00 PM
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pelathais pelathais is offline
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I'd buy a television set of my own if Deacon Blues was on. Well, Deacon Blues and the NFL; both have powerful ministries... when my teams are doing well.

When my teams are doing poorly I hate television. And football. So Deacon Blues better be good.
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  #9  
Old 08-27-2007, 06:06 PM
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CC1 CC1 is offline
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Originally Posted by pelathais View Post
I'd buy a television set of my own if Deacon Blues was on. Well, Deacon Blues and the NFL; both have powerful ministries... when my teams are doing well.

When my teams are doing poorly I hate television. And football. So Deacon Blues better be good.
LOL!!!! I know how you feel. I am a big Titans fan living in TN but here is how their bad seasons affect me. When the Titans were doing well I tried to physically be at as many games as I could.

The last few years they have been pretty bad and I quickly discovered that the mile or so walk back across the bridge to the parking garage is incredibly long after you lose so the last few years I have opted to watch the game from home where at least I can drown my sorrows in cheap junk food while they lose!

Of course now with Vince Young here we are excited once again about the fuure. In another year or two we might even have decent receivers and running backs for him to have a chance to win with.
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Old 08-27-2007, 06:28 PM
mizpeh mizpeh is offline
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12. So the saints won't have to think for themselves or have personal convictions. The pastor is the conscience of the body he has been given to serve. It is his job to convict the saints of sin and enforce rules that prevent the flock from the need to seek and be led of the Spirit. Who would want their people to work out their own salvation, that's the pastors job!
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To be a servant of God, it will cost us our total commitment to God, and God alone. His burden must be our burden... Sis Alvear
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