Broken & Weary

Broken & Weary....

When the kitchen and the bathroom floor need repair, the laptop falls and breaks, the new bass falls out and gets scratched, the back of the house in desperate need of attention, the bills aren't getting paid, and you can't get any peace at church, you & your family are constantly under attack,

no matter how much you fast, no matter how much you pray, no matter how many years to try to live your best and do as much as possible for the Lord....

the lawn mower got stolen....there's prostitutes and crack houses taking over your neighborhood and all the years of prayer and work....look for naught....

Things continue to get worse and break...including your heart...

so what do you do...

pray ..........Though he slay me, yet will I trust him....

This is the hardest time to trust him, & I despreately need prayer....

I have cried my eyes out, had my pity party...still don't feel a bit better....Bro. B didn't get the teaching position at the college....

Bro. Bill Mills preached when you are down to nothing God is up to something....

well folks.....sad to say...but I am down to nothing...I have no strength, no hope, no faith....weary in well-doing.....and can't even pray right....I am angry, upset, tired and fed up....

and wondering why....God has taken my Dad, my Mom, my first apostolic Pastor, & the one that baptized has backslid.....every church we have been in has been attacked and fallen apart....since we came into this truth....

our home church and our family is under a huge spiritual battle right now...and well to be honest...I want to quit....but I don't know how....

I have given it all to God ...including all the broken things....from my heart to the church.... to the home....I have prayed until I have bursted the blood vessels in my eyes... my throat is sore from interceding....I have nothing left to give....nothing ....

I have a niece with an unborn baby with Turner's Disease, a brother-in-law undergoing radiation and chemo...a nephew facing prison time for defending himself in a brawl...

None of my family is in this precious truth...yet....(13 years of praying...God help...I have no strength left...) with the exception of my 3 children...thank God...for them..

I am tired of going to hospitals, and the phone ringing for prayer, and trying to be the peace maker...cleaning the church, staying humble when they chew you up an spit you out....and the list continues...you can never please anyone ever.....and you wonder why you try...

I watch the prosperity of the wicked and it just frustrates me to no end......
I have tried all my life to live for the Lord...and gladly received this truth over 13 years ago....

With nothing to show for it....or so it seems...Everything we have ever tried to do has backfired in our faces...seems almost hopeless...

I have prayed for a God's eye view ...but I only have a catapillar's view...and it looks bad....

I am not a fakey fake person...this is the real deal...

my husband has worked his backside off for over 20 years trying to make a decent living for his family and preach this gospel where no one wanted to go....he has lived in trucks and cars...ate out of cans, bathed in truck stops to bathrooms just to make ends meet.....

I am spiritually and physically at the end of my rope....

I do not want any sympathy, nor do I want any encouragement scriptures or off the sleeve messages......

I simply ask for those of you who truly care....to pray for us...

If you hear from the Lord....I will receive it...

other than that....just pray....only God can help...no words, or scriptures, or advice...just simply pray....

This battle will only be won in the spirit....and well right now as you can tell....I am in the flesh....

Please understand....I simply need the one and only TRUE GOD....to intervene....

Forgive me for unloading, hoping it would help to ask for prayer, be honest and get it off my chest...

Completely broken

Rhonie/Sister Bridges...BTGAP Mom...just as long as it's in the Lamb's Book of life...I don't care....what they call me...





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[CC1]

BTGAP MOM,

I appreciate your honesty. I think most of us have had those times in our life when we have just tied a knot on the end of the rope and are holding on.

All I can say is that you are not alone. Your post touched me because while my particular circumstances may have been different in the details there has been a time or two in my life when I felt exactly the way you do right now.

The just live by faith and in times like the one you are going through that is what you have to hang on to and wait. You will make it. Things will get better.

I know probably what you are thinking as you read this - "I am not asking for things to be rosy, just not such a struggle all of the time".

I to have gotten "weary in well doing" without there seeming even a glimpse of a mountain top to pause and rejoice on before another valley.

The good news is that I and many others made it through those dark days and you will also.

I am praying for you.

[Newman]

Originally Posted by BTGAP MOM

Broken & Weary....

When the kitchen and the bathroom floor need repair, the laptop falls and breaks, the new bass falls out and gets scratched, the back of the house in desperate need of attention, the bills aren't getting paid, and you can't get any peace at church, you & your family are constantly under attack,

no matter how much you fast, no matter how much you pray, no matter how many years to try to live your best and do as much as possible for the Lord....

the lawn mower got stolen....there's prostitutes and crack houses taking over your neighborhood and all the years of prayer and work....look for naught....

Things continue to get worse and break...including your heart...

so what do you do...

pray ..........Though he slay me, yet will I trust him....

This is the hardest time to trust him, & I despreately need prayer....

I have cried my eyes out, had my pity party...still don't feel a bit better....Bro. B didn't get the teaching position at the college....

Bro. Bill Mills preached when you are down to nothing God is up to something....

well folks.....sad to say...but I am down to nothing...I have no strength, no hope, no faith....weary in well-doing.....and can't even pray right....I am angry, upset, tired and fed up....

and wondering why....God has taken my Dad, my Mom, my first apostolic Pastor, & the one that baptized has backslid.....every church we have been in has been attacked and fallen apart....since we came into this truth....

our home church and our family is under a huge spiritual battle right now...and well to be honest...I want to quit....but I don't know how....

I have given it all to God ...including all the broken things....from my heart to the church.... to the home....I have prayed until I have bursted the blood vessels in my eyes... my throat is sore from interceding....I have nothing left to give....nothing ....

I have a niece with an unborn baby with Turner's Disease, a brother-in-law undergoing radiation and chemo...a nephew facing prison time for defending himself in a brawl...

None of my family is in this precious truth...yet....(13 years of praying...God help...I have no strength left...) with the exception of my 3 children...thank God...for them..

I am tired of going to hospitals, and the phone ringing for prayer, and trying to be the peace maker...cleaning the church, staying humble when they chew you up an dspit you out....and the list continues...you can never please anyone ever.....and you wonder why you try...

I watch the prosperity of the wicked and it just frustrates me to no end......
I have tried all my life to live for the Lord...and gladly received this truth over 13 years ago....

With nothing to show for it....or so it seems...Everything we have ever tried to do has backfired in our faces...seems almost hopeless...

I have prayed for a God's eye view ...but I only have a catapillar's view...and it looks bad....

I am not a fakey fake person...this is the real deal...

my husband has worked his backside off for over 20 years trying to make a decent living for his family and preach this gospel where no one wanted to go....he has lived in trucks and cars...ate out of cans, bathed in truck stops to bathrooms just to make ends meet.....

I am spiritually and physically at the end of my rope....

I do not want any sympathy, nor do I want any encouragement scriptures or off the sleeve messages......

I simply ask for those of you who truly care....to pray for us...

If you hear from the Lord....I will receive it...

other than that....just pray....only God can help...no words, or scriptures, or advice...just simply pray....

This battle will only be won in the spirit....and well right now as you can tell....I am in the flesh....

Please understand....I simply need the one and only TRUE GOD....to intervene....

Forgive me for unloading, hoping it would help to ask for prayer, be honest and get it off my chest...

Completely broken

Rhonie/Sister Bridges...BTGAP Mom...just as long as it's in the Lamb's Book of life...I don't care....what they call me...

WITH THE EXCEPTION OF MY 3 CHILDREN.... Your life is preaching what words cannot. Only heaven knows what giants you may be raising for a day that is yet to be.

[mizpeh]

Praying for you, your family, and your church. Ps 34:19 ( I know you didn't want scriptures, but this is what came to my mind when I asked the Lord for a word for you)

[Trouvere]

Hang in there sister.I am praying for you.

I know prayer works...

sorry to unload...just felt like I was going to bust if I didn't let it out...and what better place than a prayer request filled with apostolic that are full of His power to pray...

Thank you so very much...

from my heart
Rhonie

[Sam]

Hey, Sis,
On another forum I told you that I have been praying for you, your family, and your ministry. Since then I have gotten out of the house and walked my 5 miles. When I walk I don't wear earphones and listen to cd's. I try to spend that hour and a half in prayer. Some times my mind wanders but it's usually a good time of fellowship with the Lord. Some times I get a sermon or Bible Study out of it for a future service. Today when I prayed I didn't feel like I got any specific word for you. However, I am an old man (I'll turn 70 in about a month) and I've been serving the Lord for a long time, and I just want to say a couple of things to you. I hope they don't sound hackneyed and trite. if they sound like cliches, just pass them off as the ramblings of an old man.

I have not always been faithful to the Lord. Many years ago (about 40) I got fed up over it being such a financial struggle to support a wife and 3 children (the family later grew to 5 children) and we quit going to Church because I resented giving a tenth of our small income to a church and I felt like the Lord should take better care of us. It was still a struggle, kids still got sick, food still was scarce (we didn't starve or become malnourished), we still had car trouble, we still had trouble paying bills, etc. The difference was we did not feel like we could call on the Lord for help. We had no invisible means of support. A few months later we made our way back to an altar and started over. It didn't get easy. It's still not easy. We've been married 49 years (will be 50 years in February), we have 5 grown children, and 13 precious grandchildren. It's still a struggle. A pension check and two social security checks seem to get smaller each month as everything costs more. Some times we have some month left over at the end of our money. In October we ended the month with less than one dollar in our checking account but then on November first the pension check was automatically deposited. The thought that came to me is like the question Peter asked in John 6:68 which is basically "Where else would we go?" No matter how bad things get, we have a hope of something better some day and we have the assurance that the Lord goes with us through everything we go through. Those that don't know the Lord don't have that.

Two days ago my brother-in-law and sister-in-law were here to go with us to a funeral. They told about their grandchildren they are helping to raise. The 7 year old boy was overheard out in the yard disgustedly saying, "I hate this g.d. place." My brother-in-law was horrified and got after him. My wife just said, "I think we all feel that way some times. He was just expressing it out loud." We might not quite use that language (or maybe we might) but I think we all get disgusted at times. Think about the prophet Elijah, what a man of God he was, but he got to the place where he asked God to just kill him because he didn't feel like he could go on (ref 1 Kings 19).

Winston Churchill is reputed to have said at one time, "If you are going through hell, keep going."

Some time read Psalm 73. Asaph, a choir leader, felt like you are feeling right now. A note from a (gasp) Baptist Bible has this to say at the beginning of the Psalm.
"This psalm illustrates the results of allowing one's faith in God to be buried under self-pity. The psalmist became depressed when he contrasted the seeming prosperity of the wicked with the difficulties of living a righteous life. Beginning in verse 15, however, his attitude changes completely. He looks at life from the perspective of being under the control of a sovereign, holy God, and concludes that it is the wicked, not the righteous, who have blundered."

[King's Child]

Originally Posted by BTGAP MOM

Broken & Weary....

When the kitchen and the bathroom floor need repair, the laptop falls and breaks, the new bass falls out and gets scratched, the back of the house in desperate need of attention, the bills aren't getting paid, and you can't get any peace at church, you & your family are constantly under attack,

no matter how much you fast, no matter how much you pray, no matter how many years to try to live your best and do as much as possible for the Lord....

the lawn mower got stolen....there's prostitutes and crack houses taking over your neighborhood and all the years of prayer and work....look for naught....

Things continue to get worse and break...including your heart...

so what do you do...

pray ..........Though he slay me, yet will I trust him....

This is the hardest time to trust him, & I despreately need prayer....

I have cried my eyes out, had my pity party...still don't feel a bit better....Bro. B didn't get the teaching position at the college....

Bro. Bill Mills preached when you are down to nothing God is up to something....

well folks.....sad to say...but I am down to nothing...I have no strength, no hope, no faith....weary in well-doing.....and can't even pray right....I am angry, upset, tired and fed up....

and wondering why....God has taken my Dad, my Mom, my first apostolic Pastor, & the one that baptized has backslid.....every church we have been in has been attacked and fallen apart....since we came into this truth....

our home church and our family is under a huge spiritual battle right now...and well to be honest...I want to quit....but I don't know how....

I have given it all to God ...including all the broken things....from my heart to the church.... to the home....I have prayed until I have bursted the blood vessels in my eyes... my throat is sore from interceding....I have nothing left to give....nothing ....

I have a niece with an unborn baby with Turner's Disease, a brother-in-law undergoing radiation and chemo...a nephew facing prison time for defending himself in a brawl...

None of my family is in this precious truth...yet....(13 years of praying...God help...I have no strength left...) with the exception of my 3 children...thank God...for them..

I am tired of going to hospitals, and the phone ringing for prayer, and trying to be the peace maker...cleaning the church, staying humble when they chew you up an spit you out....and the list continues...you can never please anyone ever.....and you wonder why you try...

I watch the prosperity of the wicked and it just frustrates me to no end......
I have tried all my life to live for the Lord...and gladly received this truth over 13 years ago....

With nothing to show for it....or so it seems...Everything we have ever tried to do has backfired in our faces...seems almost hopeless...

I have prayed for a God's eye view ...but I only have a catapillar's view...and it looks bad....

I am not a fakey fake person...this is the real deal...

my husband has worked his backside off for over 20 years trying to make a decent living for his family and preach this gospel where no one wanted to go....he has lived in trucks and cars...ate out of cans, bathed in truck stops to bathrooms just to make ends meet.....

I am spiritually and physically at the end of my rope....

I do not want any sympathy, nor do I want any encouragement scriptures or off the sleeve messages......

I simply ask for those of you who truly care....to pray for us...

If you hear from the Lord....I will receive it...

other than that....just pray....only God can help...no words, or scriptures, or advice...just simply pray....

This battle will only be won in the spirit....and well right now as you can tell....I am in the flesh....

Please understand....I simply need the one and only TRUE GOD....to intervene....

Forgive me for unloading, hoping it would help to ask for prayer, be honest and get it off my chest...

Completely broken

Rhonie/Sister Bridges...BTGAP Mom...just as long as it's in the Lamb's Book of life...I don't care....what they call me...





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I haven't got time to read all the posts. But I just wanted to know if things have gotten any better for you. Because I am in the same shape you were in when you wrote this. If things have gotten better for you it will give me hope that maybe things will get better for me.

I am at my wits end. I have prayed and prayed and instead of getting better things are just getting worse.

I count it all wisdom Sir, and thank you for taking time to encourage me in my discouragements....it means alot and thank you for paving the road i am now walking on...by his grace...we shall all make HEaven our home...

lol...raised baptist and attended the same lil church for 29 years until the Lord opened Bro. Bridges and mine eyes to the whole truth...

You are truly a friend full of godly wisdom, counsel and advice and encouragement, I am blessed of the Lord to have met you online Sir...

Respectfully,
Rhonie

Originally Posted by Sam

Hey, Sis,
On another forum I told you that I have been praying for you, your family, and your ministry. Since then I have gotten out of the house and walked my 5 miles. When I walk I don't wear earphones and listen to cd's. I try to spend that hour and a half in prayer. Some times my mind wanders but it's usually a good time of fellowship with the Lord. Some times I get a sermon or Bible Study out of it for a future service. Today when I prayed I didn't feel like I got any specific word for you. However, I am an old man (I'll turn 70 in about a month) and I've been serving the Lord for a long time, and I just want to say a couple of things to you. I hope they don't sound hackneyed and trite. if they sound like cliches, just pass them off as the ramblings of an old man.

I have not always been faithful to the Lord. Many years ago (about 40) I got fed up over it being such a financial struggle to support a wife and 3 children (the family later grew to 5 children) and we quit going to Church because I resented giving a tenth of our small income to a church and I felt like the Lord should take better care of us. It was still a struggle, kids still got sick, food still was scarce (we didn't starve or become malnourished), we still had car trouble, we still had trouble paying bills, etc. The difference was we did not feel like we could call on the Lord for help. We had no invisible means of support. A few months later we made our way back to an altar and started over. It didn't get easy. It's still not easy. We've been married 49 years (will be 50 years in February), we have 5 grown children, and 13 precious grandchildren. It's still a struggle. A pension check and two social security checks seem to get smaller each month as everything costs more. Some times we have some month left over at the end of our money. In October we ended the month with less than one dollar in our checking account but then on November first the pension check was automatically deposited. The thought that came to me is like the question Peter asked in John 6:68 which is basically "Where else would we go?" No matter how bad things get, we have a hope of something better some day and we have the assurance that the Lord goes with us through everything we go through. Those that don't know the Lord don't have that.

Two days ago my brother-in-law and sister-in-law were here to go with us to a funeral. They told about their grandchildren they are helping to raise. The 7 year old boy was overheard out in the yard disgustedly saying, "I hate this g.d. place." My brother-in-law was horrified and got after him. My wife just said, "I think we all feel that way some times. He was just expressing it out loud." We might not quite use that language (or maybe we might) but I think we all get disgusted at times. Think about the prophet Elijah, what a man of God he was, but he got to the place where he asked God to just kill him because he didn't feel like he could go on (ref 1 Kings 19).

Winston Churchill is reputed to have said at one time, "If you are going through hell, keep going."

Some time read Psalm 73. Asaph, a choir leader, felt like you are feeling right now. A note from a (gasp) Baptist Bible has this to say at the beginning of the Psalm.
"This psalm illustrates the results of allowing one's faith in God to be buried under self-pity. The psalmist became depressed when he contrasted the seeming prosperity of the wicked with the difficulties of living a righteous life. Beginning in verse 15, however, his attitude changes completely. He looks at life from the perspective of being under the control of a sovereign, holy God, and concludes that it is the wicked, not the righteous, who have blundered."

Originally Posted by King's Child

I haven't got time to read all the posts. But I just wanted to know if things have gotten any better for you. Because I am in the same shape you were in when you wrote this. If things have gotten better for you it will give me hope that maybe things will get better for me.

I am at my wits end. I have prayed and prayed and instead of getting better things are just getting worse.

No actually things are worse...if I look in the carnal....but in the spiritual....I am primed for a miracle...so hold on ....he's coming....

God still gives me peace in the midst...and speaks to me...and that's worth more than anything in this world...

praying for you....feel free to email me...bridgingthegap@valornet.com

from my heart
Rhonie

PS...the floor is getting replaced in the kitchen as we speak...so things are looking up...